Lack of urges during reboot/recovery

I'm not actually sure I know what you are getting at with the difference between urges/triggers.
I see the difference but are you pointing it out for a particular reason?

 

95% of my husband's 'porn' and addiction was his specific fetish. He did watch 'regular' porn but not often, he never spent money on it or acted out in RL over it. I think it was more 'oh, I'm on pornhub anyway, I'll take a look at these trending clips'. But he never spent long or M'd over them. Or in fact his fetish, he could watch for t hours and M for the last 10 minutes. We have spoken at length about his usage. He would spend hours and hours and hundreds of dollars almost every trip away watching his fetish or indulging in it RL, but no money or much time on 'regular porn'. I've spoken to him at length about what 'triggers' him. Aside from stress/upset his main triggers were circumstantial. If he spent the night in a hotel it was normal for him to spend from 5pm-11pm on his favourite fbb sites. Or if he slept in the guest room. Or went into the study to 'check emails'. So yes, the one urge he has had would have been triggered by the circumstances (Being alone, away from me, not able to sleep). But he tells me that in everyday life, walking around, the pool, the beach, none of this 'triggers' him. I've never seen a female body builder IRL. I mean, I've seen athletic women but not my husbands preference just walking around. So i guess I'm kind of lucky (there's a sentence I never thought I'd use in association with PA) that in a way, I don't find my hubs ogling or being triggered by visual things. Because he took such a specific genre and took that one thing to the extreme instead of branching out sideways into other genres. I've also spoken to him at length as to whether he would have taken his fetish to the next level again (ie HJs or full sex). But he said that was never his 'thing'. He never wanted to have sex with these women, he didnt want them to touch him, he just liked to muscle worship. And he said he doesn't allow himself to think about his fetish. If a thought starts to creep in, he immediately thinks of something else. He said he pushes it away and simply doesn't allow his mind to go there.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, despite all the lying my husband has done in the past, when he does the Sobriety part of fanos every night, he talks about thoughts and urges, he tells me exactly if or when a thought creeps in. And if he doesn't entertain It, I don't count it. Neither he or I are 'Well up' on all the psych jargon, nor do we need to be so long as he is being honest and talking to me.

 

I wouldn't consider myself lucky. Not after what I've been through in the last 6 years. I know I just used the term 'lucky' but it doesn't feel right. For 3 months my husband lied about being in recovery, so it wasn't like this the first time. And really neither of us really knew it was an addiction then. It might not always be this 'easy' for him. As @Sadgirl said in an earlier post, this may be the calm before his emotional storm. He may need to be the strong one right now because I'm such a mess. But it may change and we aren't becoming complacent. That would be dangerous and silly this early.
My husband says his biggest struggle right now is not giving up his fetish, but the pain he has caused me over it, and his abhorrent behaviour over so many years. That and the fact that he has found it so easy to overcome a lifetime of ED in 2 months. Again, he might flatline or lose his libido, but for the last 6 weeks we have enjoyed regular sex with no sign of the DE that has plagued him all his life and all our relationship. He tells me this is one of the hardest things, that if he had simply talked to me about his anxities 7 years ago, he needn't have gone so far down the rabbit hole. He wouldn't have used his fetish as a crutch and then it may not have escalated into the addiction it did. This causes him much more distress than actually giving up the porn this time around.