Yes, I am fishing for some sympathy and support from whoever is out there reading this. And yes, this is another one of those typical 'I relapsed! HELP! I need someone to remind me stuff that I already know because in some weird way that actually helps a lot' posts. I literally cried after I relapsed today. It wasnt even that long a streak, around 5 days or something. But it drove me crazy. I literally havent felt this bad in my life after jerking off. More than anything, I just felt fucking helpless. I felt like such a fucking failure. Just before relapsing I felt the presence of that other side of me that I dread. I felt that other side take over slowly till I did not control myself anymore. And when I returned to my normal self after everything was over, I felt so powerless against that other guy. Right now I feel like this other side of myself is always going to keep me a failure at whatever I do. I am depressed at the thought of me being my own biggest enemy. And no matter how much I try to fight it, somehow the other guy is always there and ready to creep up on me when I am least vigilant. And it totally makes sense, because just this morning I was of the opinion that I am so happy about quitting PMO and I am never going back to the evil habit of fapping to porn. I was so naively sure about my intensions that right now it almost feels like a funny tragedy. Thats what worries me. Its the fear that no matter how much I resolve, and no matter how determined and absolute I feel in the moment, the odds are against me and there is a big chance that I am going to end up fapping again.