Day 11 This morning I had an erotic dream which made me wake up earlier than usual, with a strong erection. This made me feel good about myself because previously even hardcore porn haven't given me this level of excitement. But at the same time, I felt desperate for having an orgasm and wished it was a wet dream. Since I committed to abstaining from masturbation, I just waited until I calmed down, fighting myself not to continue the dream in my fantasies. I haven't done a very good job of doing so, and even though erection had gone, I had a slight pain in my balls, so I had to get out of the bed to make a massage. After that, I made a big mistake of listening to relaxing video, which made me feel sleepy. I went back to bed and fell asleep, which resulted in another dream, this time a very nasty one. This was a wet dream, but instead of feeling relieved, I felt guilty and disgusted, both because of the contents of the dream and the fact that I could have prevented that. But it happened already, so instead of blaming myself, I decided to start this journal, so that I can learn from my mistakes. I had another wet dream on day 3, so 2 times in total so far. I hope that this will happen more rarely as I go.