Just relapsed and I feel like this is an impossible battle

Ah, but everything we experience affects our psychology. Our physical health greatly affects our mental health. Even just the act of committing to a new routine (dietary or otherwise) stimulates us psychologically: it helps to put us in a new state of mind; and, as we succeed with our commitments, our confidence and will power are bolstered.

 

One of the most important steps in dealing with addiction is recognizing that it can't be cured by sheer willpower.

"no matter how much I resolve, and no matter how determined and absolute I feel in the moment" ... you're right. No matter how hard you try, belief in your own strength for recovery is a recipe for repeated relapses.

We are addicts because our brain chemistry has been hijacked by repeated conditioning. Our willpower has been taken over by the addiction. You can't expect your willpower to save you when your addiction has the power to push it out of the driver's seat at any moment. Relying on your willpower would be like telling a drug addict, "just make better decisions." It doesn't work that way.

I encourage you to get some outside help--whether that's accountability partners, therapy, 12-step fellowships, or consistent interaction here at NoFap--anything that helps you get outside of yourself and engaged with other people who are fighting the same battle or who can encourage you.