How do you handle IRL porn?

Yes but we do live in our culture, you see? The western stripper is not an african tribeswoman who got teleported into our world unaware that we consider the bare breast erotic.

What I said is nothing new and predates porn.

 

No problem. I had the same issues back in 2017 when I started NoFap. The triggers were huge. Now, when Im P free for years, it does not much to me.

Also, if get a GF, u dont care anymore. Sometimes I have a GF but its not easy for me, and I am 195cm tall, not fat, yada yada... so I know for a person who is not as tall and maybe a bit fat or whatever, it must be harder. So lower your standards a bit for a moment, untill u more skilled and u can land a better looking females.

When u look around, lots of these girls are with males, u know look worse than us. But they have confidence and skill - both u can gain.

 

The girl walking around a grocery store or down the street is not a stripper. And no, it's nothing new, sexual addiction has existed for much longer than porn.
The girl in the grocery store in her bathing suit is not bare breasted.
13 year olds only have as much sexual power as you give them, so describing their "power" is absolutely a pedophilic thing and absolutely should be shamed.
I draw the line at within your own age +/- 10 years, with a hard line at 18. Don't know for sure someone is 18? Don't start your sex brain at all. Don't even look at body parts of women you don't know like that, maybe just look at them as people, as humans. That would solve a lot of problems.

 

I think "irl porn" is a contradiction. One of the main issues against porn is that it isnt real ...so when "faced" with real-life. whats the matter? it IS real now.
I never advocate hedonism but being a puritan recluse isnt what 99% of men are called to. Let the energy burn up inside you and then compose a song, do 200 push-ups, gift money to a beggar in a way you cant buy your coffee that afternoon.
I really think this; PMO is fake and anti-real...but reality isnt demonic,or evil or spooky. it just IS

 

Good lord, just the fact that someone can call women existing in the world "irl porn" and not be widely corrected that no, they're just so mentally sick that they're unable to handle just being in public shows how little the community here is actually taking their addiction seriously as a mental disorder. How do so many that are ostensibly working toward recovery manage to not take responsibility for their own decisions to lust and dehumanize random women minding their own business?

 

I was an instructor on summer camps and I can tell you it's a pretty common occurrence that one of these young teen girls start hitting on the (older) male instructors. And no, I'm not imagining it, everyone could see that. You have 13 year olds acting like 19 year olds in the club looking to f*ck. And when you try to get them to stop, they mock you in a way that makes it clear they understand why are you upset, they understand all of it, perhaps except the part of you going to prison if something happened.

If it soothes your mind, I could tell you that an underage girl's tits after a growth spur are not attractive to men even though those bazookas might as well be on a 20 year old.

But it's not true, I'm afraid, the horny monkey parts of brain are not concerned with the year of birth. For the same reason, the genuine pedos who enjoy loli anime don't have a good defense when they point out that the child-looking character they're lusting after is actualy 4000 years old.

 

No no no. We all have responsibility for our mental states. But that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to complain about others' transgressions. Can you not stuff your tits and ass into my face, please? And yes, you're doing that on purpose, to get attention. So just stop doing that. In other words, your boyfriends grandmother was exactly correct and it would be nice if a little bit of puritanism returned to our societies.

 

Thanks for the wonderful tip. Now I'm asking myself why am I even on this website? I can just keep my sex brain turned off and I will never relapse.

This is off topic but it bears repeating: sexual attraction is not dehumanization. And if it were, women would be also guilty.

 

fair enough.well then , then lets consider women as guilty as men. I dont see the problem.

 

Are some women dressing that way for the attention at the gym? Yes absolutely, I don't deny it. Will the girls who film their workout edit videos so they can play the victim? Yes and I don't deny it.

Most of this discussion has been focused on women triggering men, but let's flip the script. You have a woman who has a porn addiction and is trying to recover from it. She goes to the gym and sees the guys that are in shape, wearing stringer t-shirts or possibly no shirt at all (if that is allowed in the gym), and she is triggered by their bodies and attire. Is this the guy's fault or is it her issue to learn how to deal with it?

 

There's no problem as long as your goal is to turn the world into a giant monastery... which I guess is a bit what I'm arguing for - only compared to today's overopenness though.

That's a good question and I don't think the gym attire would be what it is if gyms didn't develop as all-male spaces which women only recently started to infiltrate.

Even then, you usually don't see guys in spandex showing the outline of their cocks so it's not the fairest comparison.

But I think it would be a legit concern, yes. Some gyms are developing sex segregation and the ... distractions that are often seen in the unisex spaces are surely one of the reasons for that.

 

I do take responsibility for my illness as do most of the people on this site. What I think we are upset about is that the world was not like this 10 years ago. We have really taken a turn culturally in a bad way and I think it is because of social media and the internet. Even ten years ago people would say that 5-10 people was a high body count. The world has gotten alot more promiscuous and although we can't do anything about it we still have complaints. Because we have a problem with lust we lose all our rights to opinions? With the world the way it is we just are recovering alcoholics and they opened a bar next door. Yes its our problem but we are trying to commiserate with other addicts and your taking a very unhealthy position. We know we are sick and horrible people and should probably all die. I say it everyday to myself and I'm sure many on this page do too. Thank you for reinforcing that and I hope you feel better about yelling at a homeless man to go get a job.

 

Wow. All of you, despite your variation if thought, have created a dialogue that is awesome. This is clearly my absolute favorite dilemma that I have been searching for answers to for my whole life.

So let me start by saying that what I wrote is subjective to my thoughts. You can agree, disagree, or be indifferent, and I would not be offended in the least bit. I think all of you have lent something to the constructive nature of this thread. Kudos to all.

That said... Here I go.

I haven't ever been able to figure out who is at fault in this situation. I want say everybody, and I want to say nobody.

My first thought is that mentally, there must be something wrong with me, or anybody, if the sight of a halfway decent looking female doesn't start something in your brain. It's up to you how far you let it take you, but, you just would have to be dead to not think something.

Why are we the only creation where the male is not prettier than the female? Lions, cardinals, peacocks/peahens are just a few examples of this.

The answer.. I dont know. But what I do know is that humans are far different from any animal creation. Sorry to burst your bubble but if we evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys? If we were some kind of thing like dust particles that drifted to earth from Mars or somewhere else, why are there no martians? You would think by now they would come and visit.

So let's face it, God was smart. Imagine if you had no sexual desire. The desire is something he put in you on purpose. If he didn't, all you would do is work, sit at home, watch football amd drink beer all weekend. But if you are watching a game and your girl got naked and came over and sat on your lap, you wouldnt even care about the game for another second.

Why? Because sex drives a man. It drives him to work hard. It drives him to polish up his conduct and how he is perceived. It drives him to reach out to women to grab their attention, and then subsequently do stuff to try to impress her.

Ultimately, every mans endgame is sex. If I were to ask if you believed that to be true about us, I hope you would agree.

To me, that is the root cause. While it is true that women do exploit this general weakness in men, I wouldn't be able to say every woman does it for that. Some women are just so beautiful, the no matter what they wear, they are smoking hot.

I think the standards for what is beautiful that are man made are clearly skewed, and improperly. I really think beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Not only are there short, tall, skinny, chubby, but, there are Latinas, Asian, Indian, African, East European, and many more varieties of color and countries that are ALL beautiful in one way or another.

I personally am completely open minded to the beauty of all women. Sometimes they can look great until they open their mouth, and they become beotches and it just doent matter what they look like, you're like, OMG, get away; but, sometimes they are just average, and when they speak, they start to become more beautiful with the revealing of the real person they are.

I think modeling which sets perfection as a size 0 body is absolutely ridiculous. The fact that people are willing to force themselves to fit in a mold that is not who they really are, sadly speaks to who they really are.

As for the issue of how women dress, I am one who thinks modesty is always in vogue. Styles come and go, but modesty remains a constant. If a girl is modest, she just never goes out of style.

However, it seems that certain styles do become a standard perpetually. Leggings clearly have done that. Have you ever tried on a pair of leggings? I have. I know thatnsince I am a man, it is not considered appropriate for me in general attire. Workouts, cycling or other sporting activities is fine, but normally you dont see guys in them for daily wear.

For women, I notice that it has become very normal for them to wear leggings. I must say that it's about as comfortable as it gets. I dont blame them one bit. Their body is typically favoring the silhouette style anyway. So I have reached a point of considering it normal, even on chubby girls. I mean lets not go overboard but I think thick is cool and seeing it is ok by me. If you ever see a hot Latina in spandex with those nice extra curvy hips... Yeah you know what I mean. You know it looks good.

Do I look a little longer? Sure. Do I think about how they fit so nicely in them? Sure. Does it cause me a bit of a problem with desire? Sure. But is that on me? Likely.

I look at women and they look beautiful. But they are not doing anything to flaunt themselves to others, like bending over to pick up something. They are just going about their business.

Personally, I find that much sexier than one trying to flaunt it. That is a bit of a turn off. I want to look beautiful women, not someone acting like a skank whore. But there are some guys that like that and will take. That only serves to promote their agenda and they continue to do it because no one says, "hey you look like a cheap dime store hooker".

So I think we are all at fault. I think also that none of us are at fault, unless we (the man or the woman) are doing something and we know our own intention. I dont think I fair to project our predisposed thinking on others, unless their intent is blantantly obvious.

Next subject... The beach... Sun, sand, water, thongs, bikinis, guys, girls, and more in my next post. Stay tuned.

 

You might really have to hide for a little while until you can get your urges under control. I removed all social media from my devices and won't watch a lot of netflix shows because they always add nudity for some reason. As for the real life aspect try to disconnect from the places that reinforce this culture. Like attracts like so if you want a woman that is into the same things as you start doing those things. If you are a gamer start hanging out at the game stores and talk to a girl there, if your a skier go skiing, if your a hiker go hiking. If your a church person do a bible study, if an avid reader go to the library. If you go to a bar to pick out a woman your only going to find women that like to hang out in bars. Really think about what you want in a woman and go find her in her environment,

 

If this is the case…. Then women are for the most part ignorant of how the majority of guys think… unless the guy is very advanced in semen retention or a deeply serious practicing Christian or other religion… then when a girl is wearing a “cute” outfit… what a non-monk guy will be thinking is “damn, I want to get inside of her”

Not saying it is women’s fault, but I am saying that either they don’t know how dirty a lot of men’s minds can be, or, they know how dirty a man’s mind can be and dress that way anyways

 

would a woman "existing" in the world bare naked not be porn? if not then what exactly is porn? I would offer if shes old and fat, it wouldnt be (flame away)
Its not all hardcore you know. Now what really is the difference between that naked woman and another wearing yoga pants and extremely tight top? nipples and some hair? Im sure youve been shocked by some of this, although you hesitate to say anything negative.
would those girls wearing bikinis walk around in their underwear? why not?
I asked what your line in the sand would be, and not age. What exactly would be inappropriate? anything? I think that shop teacher up in Canada wearing those giant prosthetic breasts proved that women can never be held to any standard anymore, ever.
The sad thing is these young girls have no idea what they are doing could be a problem because their mothers and grandmothers are doing the same thing. If my daughter were to not dress like a hoochie mama, she would be teased by most of her peers, Im sure thats some of why she does dress the way she does, not only to look "cute" for her friends.
Do women have any agency? Yes, us men need to rein in our desires, but women can help alot with that. especially when it comes to teaching younger ones about the real world, not some utopia where women can do whatever they want, whenever they want.

 

I wonder what % of bodybuilding show's audience are women. since bodybuilders DO wear spandexs.

 

Nah, I know nobody, I meet new ppl only thru Tinder. It works. Just try to make 5 good photos, dont write too much about yourself and click...