How can I help him?

Being frustrated will only make it worse for him. He will see you are frustrated no doubt about it. You have to be part of his healing process. Try to replace sex with something else, like a hobby maybe. I know it sucks but if you think about the long term, you have to be onboard with him every step of the way. He will appreciate it so much

 

No, he's not watching porn as he's trying to rewire his sexual senses. He's in a flatline where his libido has dropped completely due to over-stimulation (from porn?). To fix it, he will quit porn. Unfortunately as his libido has been damaged, sex isn't possible. It's a vicious circle. But you need to both be patient. Help him heal. Modern high speed porn is a new issue for men. Thus it's incredibly confusing for women!

Communication, as with all things in a relationship, is the most important factor here.

 

You should check out Gary Wilson's "yourbrainonporn.com" page, it has tons of information, links to articles, research and videos.
The low libido stage can last for months, and it's absolutely terrifying, so he is lucky to have you. You should focus on touch and intimacy, as he needs to rewire, finishing is not a good idea altogether (at least for a couple of weeks), so you should not let him finish himself off, instead advice him to focus on sensations only, with no pressure or expectations. There is a good chance that he will relapse on occasion and go back to porn, this can be a big setback, also some depression can be expected, be patient. I wish good luck to you both!

 

PMO is an avoidance behaviour.
I think he feels pressure and therefore he avoids contact with you.

Going limb during sex is in fact also exactly that.

He might also be afraid of a baby and all the responsibility which comes with it.

Have you ever spoken about living together and creating a family with house and all that stuff ?

 

From what I have researched and read on this site and others like YBOP (Your brain on porn) it is absolutely necessary for him to stay off porn and any sex for a while to reboot. That may take as little as 2 weeks to 2 years depending on age and severity of the addiction. Older men usually take a shorter period than young ones. Remember, this is to do with rewiring the brain to be able to have normal sex with a real person. By trying to have sex, you are making this more difficult for him and the possible relapse to PMO.
I understand that you have needs as well but to support him in his recovery you "unfortunately" will need to have no sex either until he is gets his natural "mojo" back.

 

I would suggest avoiding orgasms and reading "Cupid's Poisoned Arrow"

 

Keep being supportive. Try to remember that it's incredibly difficult for men to stop using porn so if he slips up don't be hard on him. He wants sex with you more than he wants porn even though it might be hard to imagine. The trap I fell into was that I would slip up and my ex wife would be so angry with me and berate me so badly I would think "this is never going to get better so why bother to keep trying". Every time we relapse it hurts us and the last thing a guy needs is more pain on top of it. You sound like a good woman and every addict needs a good supportive partner. Be kind and try to remember that the effort you put in will be appreciated and is needed more than you know.

 

It may take up to 1 year or more.

 

You guys know that this thread is 5 years old, right?

 

I do, Idk about others. This old thread has returned again in the forum. I reply to old threads to be able to benefit anyone who joins recently that might need an answer.