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Codependency

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by TryingHard2Change, Jun 7, 2018.

  1. Jun 7, 2018 #1
    TryingHard2Change

    TryingHard2Change Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    "A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior."
    from Codependent No More: How To Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring For Yourself by Melody Beattie, chapter 1.
     
    TryingHard2Change, Jun 7, 2018
    TryingHard2Change, Jun 7, 2018
    #1
    Kenzi likes this.
  2. Jun 7, 2018 #2
    TryingHard2Change

    TryingHard2Change Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I am finally reading this book / listening to it on my Kindle/Audible on my 6 hour drive home today. I listened to chapter 1 this morning .. and it's good!
     
    TryingHard2Change, Jun 7, 2018
    TryingHard2Change, Jun 7, 2018
    #2
    hope4healing likes this.
  3. Jun 7, 2018 #3
    TryingHard2Change

    TryingHard2Change Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    This book is so good!!!!!!
     
    TryingHard2Change, Jun 7, 2018
    TryingHard2Change, Jun 7, 2018
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    hope4healing likes this.
  4. Jun 7, 2018 #4
    TryingHard2Change

    TryingHard2Change Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Finished the chapter about detachment. It was really good.

    The crazy thing about this book is, I thought I was reading it mostly for myself. I feel that I am too co-dependent on my wife. But, I'm also seeing tendencies and aspects of how my wife behaves and some of her codependency patterns in her relationship to me.
     
    TryingHard2Change, Jun 7, 2018
    TryingHard2Change, Jun 7, 2018
    #4
  5. Jun 7, 2018 #5
    TheMightyQuinn

    TheMightyQuinn Fapstronaut

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    I read her other book "Codependents guide to the 12 steps" and used some of it as a guide for working the steps in CoDA. They have a workbook, too. Although it's not as good as AcOA's. I was a "compliant" codependent. I let myself be controlled out of fear of abandonment. That in itself is a controlling behavior because. Anytime I try to manipulate outcomes or "win" love in a relationship, I am being codependent.

    -Quinn
     
    TheMightyQuinn, Jun 7, 2018
    TheMightyQuinn, Jun 7, 2018
    #5
    RecoveringLion and Deleted Account like this.

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