Boyfriend lied about going to an SAA meeting!

I'm so upset, I'll never be able to believe him about this in the future. We live in different cities. He told me that he went to a meeting this morning, and that his sister picked him up at after.

But things didn't add up - 1. The meeting started at 8, he said he left his phone at home but I got a message from him at 8:30 this morning - he says he left the house at 7 though. He tried to pass that off as saying, oh, the weather's been bad, maybe it just had trouble sending.

2. Then he said his sister picked him up at 9, dropped him off at home and then had to rush off to work, since she was supposed to be at work at 9. His sister hates giving him rides, and she would never be late for work just to pick him up, plus she avoids going downtown because she doesn't like driving in that area.

3. He didn't even say anything about going to this meeting until we had an argument - he sent me a screenshot of something and in that screenshot I also saw the fact that he was chatting with someone on KIK and watching porn, too. KIK has always been as issue with us, so of course I was afraid that he was cheating, so I pointed out what I saw to him. He attacked me, accusing me of attacking him and of assuming the worst, he said that he wasn't doing anything wrong and that I'm an ungrateful b*tch since I should be happy he went to a meeting this morning - but the thing is, he never told me he went to a meeting until the fight. Normally he tells me when he's going to meetings and when he gets back, and we talk about it and celebrate it together...but today he said nothing, until the fight.

So since these things sent off little warning bells, I texted his sister to ask if she picked him up downtown this morning...she said no. He lied. I'm so afraid that he's been lying most of this time about going to meetings, I'll never be able to trust his word again. I'm sorry, I just needed to vent. I'm so devastated and tired of being lied to.

EDIT: Now he's saying that he lied about his sister giving him a ride, because he just wanted me to 'shut up' and that he used her bike this morning...but why would he lie about that, why not just tell me he was biking? I could have believed that, but it was harder for me to believe his sister picked him up. He's saying that I should show a little faith in him but I can't after all the times he's lied to me. I can't trust anything he says anymore. I always know when he's lying or when he's hiding something from me and he's refusing to be honest today.

 

I let him get away with that sort of thing because of the addiction, that's the only reason I allow him to talk to me like that - but he's never talked to me like that before today, I almost did break up with him. It was so shocking. I don't know how to set boundaries. He blames so much on the addiction and acts like I can't be angry at him for the things he does...

 

Oh...my god...I think he is gaslighting me! I can't believe I never saw that! I can't believe I never realized it. He makes me feel like I'm too paranoid and that I should just trust him when he says he's done nothing wrong (but it always turns out he has) and he accuses me of digging for things to get him in trouble for - not true, I don't specifically go looking because I'd rather not know. Knowing hurts. But if I see something than yes I'm going to confront him. He always accuses me of blowing up and attacking him, but that's not the case...I'm not an aggressive person, not until he attacks me. Usually I'll send a short message asking him about something, and he's the one that blows up - sending me 5 to 10 voice messages on facebook, one after the other. He says he should be allowed to do whatever he wants when it comes to watching porn, and he says that sexually chatting with people doesn't count as cheating. He also was looking into a dating website, and that he should should be allowed to since we aren't married yes...

I made similar promises to myself, and yet here I still am. I told myself I'd never stay with someone who cheated. But then the addiction became clear and I've felt like I have to forgive him for these things, like he can't help it.