Resources that are helpful to both PA and SO

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by AnonymousAnnaXOXO, Jun 15, 2017.

  1. So I commented on my fiance's thread in success stories replying to @Jimmy.mike and gave him a list of resources to start the healing process. And @Broken3 suggested I make a separate thread with all the resources.


    Resources that help PA understand SO, and SO understand what they are going through

    THESE ARTICLES ARE IMPORTANT FOR ADDICTS TO READ WHEN WIFE SAYS THEY ARE CHEATING (Everyone has a different definition of cheating. Most think of cheating as black and white, specifically cheating is physical in the minds of many. I, as well as others, adopt this definition of cheating. "If I have to hide my activity/information/location/etc. then I am cheating my spouse/partner in one way or another [whether it be financially, emotionally, physically, mentally, etc.]. If my spouse was with me, would I do it? If not, then it is hurting my relationship)

    For Partners specifically (though reading these, addicts, would maybe show you the pain and process we go through). These are some posts from women on reboot who have been invaluable to my recovery. They have helped inspire me, helped me understand what I was going through when I didn't have words to understand this. So hopefully these posts can either inspire, or can be relatable and helpful in recovery.

    The posts above are really amazing insights, and honestly, any post by Stillme, Emerald Blue, or Aquarius has personally helped me with figuring out my own emotions, boundaries, and self-love, so I hope those posts/threads are as helpful to you.


    Other articles that are fun or more light-hearted but still helpful

    So that is all I have for you guys. I hope the above links can help both the PA and SO in varying ways/levels as they go through recovery both as individuals and as a couple. Good luck to everyone!
     
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  5. TooMuchTooSoon

    TooMuchTooSoon Fapstronaut

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    Already on it! ;)
     
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  6. breakmylove

    breakmylove Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing this - learning about the partner trauma has been so eye-opening for me. I had heard the term gaslighting before but didn't realize that's exactly what was going on in my own relationship.
     
  7. TooMuchTooSoon

    TooMuchTooSoon Fapstronaut

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  8. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    Yes, this one:)
     
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  9. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

  10. SOSo

    SOSo Fapstronaut

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    This is fantastic ladies, thank you!
     
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  11. @Torn Here is the resource thread, look over all the things here that apply to you, figure out which ones are the most important to you and see which ones you think your partner will be willing to read/watch, good luck!
     
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  12. Sharonana

    Sharonana Fapstronaut

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    AnonymousAnna that video of an apology to women has me balling. I sent it to my husband. Thanks so much!
     
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  13. you're welcome! i was crying to the first time I watched it
     
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  14. Torn

    Torn Fapstronaut

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    That apology video made me cry, too, @Sharonana ! I haven't sent it to my bf yet as he still seems to reeling himself. I don't know what's stopping me -- worried it will feel shaming to him, probably. Should I just go ahead and share it?
     
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  15. Torn

    Torn Fapstronaut

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  16. Sharonana

    Sharonana Fapstronaut

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    @Torn I absolutely would send it to him. Those are some hard words to hear, but they have to be heard. You can offer comfort and support, but he needs to know that porn is damaging your relationship.
     
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  17. Sharonana

    Sharonana Fapstronaut

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    This is a most excellent article! This Craig Perra is the one who has helped my husband turn around. I ordered a workbook and CD program of his from Amazon. He listens to the CDs on his way to/from work and does the workbook at least 3 mornings a week. He keeps a journal now and has been much more open about his porn use and getting to the root cause. I am very hopeful.
     
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  18. More Resources:

    Thanks @novibe for sharing these vids:





    Thanks @Kenzi for sharing these vids





     
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