Approaching women - my insights and videos

Yesterday I went out with 3 friends for a drink in a bar. We were outside and there were many people
At one point I see a woman I like with a guy sitting at a table. I go to talk to them. I ask if they are dating with a smile. The girl says no, I answer that I like her, that I don't want to interrupt their conversation but if she wants to go for a drink another day it's with pleasure.
She answers me meanly: you can go back see you your friends
It affected me at the time. Some women are unsympathetic, I've accepted that over the years. I'm less affected by it but I'm still human.
I replied "I see that you don't know the difference between a cool guy and the rest. Enjoy your drink. And I went back to my friends.

We had a good time, at one point I turned around and spontaneously said to 4 girls sitting at another table: "I have an existential question for you: is staying friends with your ex a good idea". Great interaction. We talked for 30 minutes. I left my friends ahah. I was interested in one of the 4 but she was in a relationship. I still gave it a shot. I took the Instagram of these 4 girls and told them I do parties often and they would be welcome.

Then I went and ordered another drink from the bar. I met a woman at the counter. I just told her "you were here before me, I'll let you order first » with a smile. We talked about chivalry and laughed afterwards. And we talked for 20 minutes in the bar. I followed her on Instagram and she just followed me back 10 minutes ago. I'll send her a message tonight!

Very happy with this evening. All positive things. Except for the fact that I didn't stay much with my friends. They think I'm an alien talking to everyone with such ease

 

I'm going to see the girl I took the instagram from at the bar counter and have a drink with her this Sunday. The story with Agathe that I approached on the street is still not over. I don't know where this is going to go.

I'm happy in my life, confident. I bring positive things to people. I only meet women who are confident. Not a superficial confidence based on ego but something more authentic. I still approach women on the street from time to time, but less than before. Maybe because I feel at peace. And when I do it, it's because I really want to do it. And I go to give, not to take.

I think this adventure of overcoming my fears and trying to become better every day was worth it. I think it's time to say thank you, and be proud of myself.
I started because I had no friends, no relationships with women. I started out of frustration. And it led me to human values that I could never have imagined before.

I lived through horrible moments. I was rejected, on the street, during dates. Women have ignored me. I had to go through a lot of things like depression and anxiety. Black holes where I couldn't see the light. And I still had to keep going. Because you see everyone else living their lives. you can't just give up. it made me stronger. Able to endure more difficult things. I think I sent a message to my brain that I was a strong person in those moments.

I also learned about myself. And in getting to know myself I got to know others. Because everything is connected. You meet who you are. Relationships work like mirrors. I realized that if I wasn't having fulfilling relationships, it wasn't because of others. I was the problem. And from that moment on I started to change some things about myself. And accept what I couldn't change, or control.
It happened gradually. I continued to suffer almost every day. But every day was a little bit better than the day before.

Until this year. 2022. I met some incredible people. In my friendships as well as in my relationships.
I am living my dream life. All that frustration that got me started is gone.

Today I can say that I am a good person. I attract the positive and try to give back to people what they have given me.

Clean yourself up. And then you will be ready to give. And that's when the magic will happen.

 

Hi guys just to let you know that I am working on a youtube video that I will share here !

To give some news I was supposed to have a date last Sunday but she cancelled for good reasons.
A few days later I texted her again to go for a drink. She cancelled saying she had a lot of work this week. That's all she said.

A lot of guys wouldn't have texted back. Maybe because they are afraid of being needy or rejected. But I'd like to share with you a mindset to adopt when a woman cancels a date multiple times. And she doesn't offer you anything afterwards. Here is the message I sent, with explanations.

1. Accepting the situation.

"I understand and I wish you luck with your work"

Starting with a message full of empathy, you are already beyond all guys.

2. I know what I want and where I'm going

"But on the other hand, I'm not going to chase you forever."

You don't need her, you are already happy in your life. You really wanted to see her for who she was and not to fill a void

3. Say what you liked about her, sincerely. Because you're never going to see her again.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, I really liked your energy, keep it "

Keep in mind that if when you get rejected or a woman doesn't want to see you, you are able to still send out the positive, show empathy and stay who you are, the emotions you communicate are incredible. Very few guys are able to do that. Most don't respond, out of ego because they depend on a woman's validation. They don't know how to live alone.

This process of meeting women is not just a way to have sex. If you see it that way, you'll give up. Because women won't give you what you want. On the other hand, if you see it as a way to become a better human being, to improve your relationship with yourself and others, women will follow you and you will shine in your relationships.

Here is this girl's answer, because yes, she answered me.

"too cute thank you very much. I really want to meet you, it's true that I could have been more clear, I understand your answer ahah but I have too much work this week. But if you're available Sunday or next week we can go for a drink!"

People give you back what you give to them, always

 

Yesterday I came back from school, I didn't feel very well. Sometimes I feel anxious, for no reason. With what I've been through. Depression etc. I've fallen so far that it's probably going to take years before I'm fully recovered. But I am happy. It's just little uncomfortable moments that don't last, compared to before.
I've learned to live with a certain amount of pain, and that pain makes me grow, become stronger.

Yesterday I approached two women sitting at a bar, in front of maybe 50 people who were watching me.
I came over with a smile and said, "
I was coming back from school, I saw you and I thought I should come and talk to you. And bring you some good vibes at the same time".

It was a really good interaction, with lots of positivity. I took her instagram and we're meeting at my house again tomorrow night straight away.

A guy came up to talk to me after the interaction because he was interested in what I had just done, and how I had made it look so natural. Not the first time this has happened. A lot of times guys are in awe of this process.
They don't realize the work that goes into it, the questioning, the failures. To reach freedom. Freedom doesn't mean success every time. I was rejected 4 times after this interaction. But it does mean being you, expressing yourself when you want, where you want, and how you want. Knowing how to live alone, not needing anyone but at the same time telling someone you like them. Taking into account what she feels. To create a beautiful relationship. or just a one night stand.

 

A message I sent to a girl on Instagram that you can take inspiration from. This message communicates a lot of qualities that women are looking for. Like empathy, caring, intention, freedom


« Hi
You just seemed to have a full and interesting life. That's becoming rare nowadays.
I don't usually like to engage on Instagram but I made an exception this time ahah
If you're in the mood to meet new people and go for a drink It’s with pleasure
Otherwise I would have just brought you some good vibes
Have a great day! »

 

It’s actually the opposite, relationships and interactions with women are emotional, not logical


Most of the time things don't make sense. If you look for meaning, for example why a woman ghosts you when you have done everything right, you will often be disappointed and suffer more.
Logic has very little place in approaching women. When you feel fear, it's emotional. You can tell yourself anything to make yourself feel better, fear is still there. You have to deal with it

Reassuring yourself by trying to find some form of logic can help you if you think it can help you. But it won't reduce your fear.
I am always afraid before I approach a woman. Feeling fear is normal!

 

So the goal isn’t to know what to talk about but to get rid of your nervousness which is definitely possible !

 

I was supposed to have a date with a woman I met at a bar counter. She had cancelled the date twice. I had sent her a message saying that I wasn't going to chase her forever. That I liked her energy and wished her the best.
She replied that she was just busy this week but that she really wanted to see me.

She never said anything to me again. Yesterday she unsubscribed from me on Instagram. After I asked her out a 3rd time (I never usually do this but I like her plus she seemed nice when we met)
I did everything right, I don't think I communicated any negative emotions or dependant behavior! I feel good about my life.
And yet, despite all of this, I am disappointed!

When you approach women, everything is multiplied tenfold. The positive as well as the negative. Your life becomes an adventure in which you grow through pain. You also experience success but most of the time it’s a lot of disappointments, questionnings

That's how I see it

 

Yesterday I was in a bar with 3 friends. We talked a lot, it was cool. At one point I see a woman sitting with a girl and 2 guys at another table not far from us.
I look at my friend with a smile, he understands me. I get up and go to that table without thinking.

I said hi, I had a little crush on you while having a drink with my friends. It was immediately positive. Her friend told me she was single and put me at ease. The guys were cool. Not into a duality but instead quite impressed with my courage.

We spent the evening with these people, my friends and I.
Then we all ended up at the girl I was interested in. I didn't sleep all night (I’m really tired right now)
Nothing happened except that we kissed during a drinking game. "Go kiss the girl you like in this room."
I took her instagram and we're going to meet again within the week for a date.
She has the same first name as the last woman I had a relationship with 2 weeks ago. And it's the same mentality. I think it's going to go really fast!

It was amazing. Can’t believe I lived all this because I just got up and took action.

 

Yesterday I was having a drink with a friend. On the table next to me I saw a girl with a guy with the book "the power of now".

We talked for 2 hours, I took the girl's insta at the end.
I don't believe it... it's abundance everywhere for me right now.
I go downtown at the end of the day with a friend who starts daygame. With the confidence I have and seeing how peaceful I feel, I can meet women and create something every day. It's amazing.

 

I love this guy



At some point self-acceptance and self-love is much more important. But in the beginning we all need a kick in the ass to finally take responsibility

 

When you show your strength people will say you are bragging. Yes, but so what? What is the program? To shut your mouth all your life? To be that little guy who is not allowed to blossom and show who he really is?

If you want some advice, stop trying to please everyone. Stop pretending to be someone too good to take risks and live your best life.
You're not going to please everyone no matter what you do. So why limit yourself? Why keep trying to do the right thing? When who are you to pretend to want to control the world.

You can fail. You can be rejected. That's what will set you free.

I don't know what to say, I feel bad, what will others think of me. Is this really going to matter when you're 40? No
Just stop lying to yourself, unplug your brain and take action. That's it

 

Tonight I'm inviting 35 people to my place to celebrate halloween. it will be a big party!
We will go to a club afterwards. I created this social circle in only 1 year. And it is still growing. I have 5-6 very close friends and many others where we just enjoy the moments. It's very fulfilling to know a lot of people and to be able to approach women on the side. it gives social proof, especially since my instagram is very good. it helps to keep in touch and organize events.
I'm the man of the party tonight

If you want the best advice, stop watching self-development videos, trying to understand everything. If it doesn't work with a woman, it's not your fault. And if it works, it's not because of you. It's not that you are good.

If you sleep with 100 women in your life or 5, it doesn't matter.
Live your fucking life, stop limiting yourself and trying to control everything. You have control over very little.

 

I had a relationship with a woman I approached on the street in late August. This relationship lasted for 2 months.
We didn't put a name to the relationship, we were just enjoying the time we spent together.
We stopped seeing each other without making it official. We just stopped setting dates.

Yesterday she sent me a message saying that she felt she had not been honest. That I didn't fit her in terms of personality. That she saw me in a period of her life where she was lost. She had another guy in mind.
She told me that she enjoyed the time we spent together. She wished me success in everything I do in my life. I felt a real empathy from her. She saw me as a good guy with values. And I felt she felt bad for not being able to tell me that earlier.

I told her I really appreciated her message. That there was no problem. That there was never a pact between us. She didn't owe me honesty.
I told her that I knew she wasn't right for me either. But that I didn't care. We had a very cool time together.
I told her to enjoy her life, and that I hope it goes well with this guy.

The reason I'm doing this post is to talk about self love and independence. When you feel good about yourself, you communicate that around you.
You give up the techniques, you stop looking for what works with women and you allow yourself to be you. It's a form of reconciliation with yourself, after going through a lot.
It's the highest value you can achieve. The goal is to be so well and happy with yourself that you are okay with not having sex for two years. You are already happy on your own.

So when a woman ends a relationship, it hurts a lot less than before. You don't try to own women anymore. The more you love a woman, the more you wish her well. You wish her freedom. It's the opposite of dependance.

This sometimes means giving up your desires and thinking about her well being. That's empathy. And that's what makes you shine with others. Others want to follow you and see you as an incredible person.
You have the courage to be you. To tell someone you love them as well as to set boundaries when you need to.
Because you've been rejected a thousand times. You are no longer afraid to be alone. Because being alone is a strength. being with others aswell.

There's that period that lasts for years where you try to fill a void. Maybe that's what you're experiencing sometimes @StoicContemplation in being too nice or communicating a need to get something from girls. The goal is to fill that void from within, not with results or external validation. Until the relationship you have with yourself becomes more important than what others might think of you. It's something that can be cultivated every day by taking care of yourself. You plant a seed and take care of it every day, as if this seed was your own child. It doesn't mean that the fears, doubts and pain will disappear. But they will be less important, and you will be able to manage them better.

In any case it is so interesting, I could talk about it for hours

 

If you don’t do it it’s because it’s not important enough for you. There’s no how. We all feel fear. I feel fear. But I just Take action despite everything I may be feeling because I know if I don’t approach girls, I have no relationships. I prefer rejection than regrets

 

Three weeks ago I approached a woman in a bar. She was with 3 friends. 2 guys and 1 woman. I was with a friend. She is very cool.

I got up from my table and went to tell this girl that I had a crush on her. In front of these guys and her friend.

What makes me most proud is that I have created an incredible and deep friendship. Because my friend is best friends with the friend of the girl I was interested in. My friend told me that it was the first time in her life that she had a deep friendship with another girl.

Another thing is that she is dating one of the two guys who was with the girl in question. So I changed my friend's life. Without stepping out of my comfort zone, none of this would have happened.

Game is useless if it only benefits you and not others. If you approach women only to get laid and move on to the next one. You're not creating anything deep. No friends, no social circle. Nothing.

I also became friends with this group. And I got to date the girl I was interested in this week. She is a psychologist, it's hard to find a free moment.
Her friends really likes me. We spent many times together having drinks and talking. Which helps me a lot to keep in touch with people and create fulfilling relationships.

If you are too afraid to make friends with women. If you are not able to make friends and you try to sleep with every woman you meet, you will get nothing. It's brutal but it's the truth, I was like that before. It just doesn't work.