Approaching women - my insights and videos

Something that bothers me and that I want to share.
The number of guys who try to take the number of every girl they approach. I met another one today while walking down the street.

You approach women, to meet women. Not to get something from them. Respect yourself. If when you talk to a girl you feel deep down that the moment is not positive, that the emotions you feel are discomfort, negativity or worse, judgment. Then there is no reason to ask for the girl's number at the end of the conversation. It's common sense. Most guys think that being good with women is almost impossible because the standard you have to meet is so high. But it's the opposite. When you're good, you're just... normal.

I don't know if it's a reflex or something else. But trying this with every woman makes the time you spend with the girls you really like obsolete. It's like giving compliments all the time. What is a real compliment worth in this case? The one you really feel inside. And that you know that saying it will take the relationship to another level.
Nothing.
The number of guys I see talking with a woman they just approached, seeing that she's not really enjoying the moment and I see the guy ask for the number at the end. Like she's going to give it to him and have sex with him the next day. It's fiction. It's like begging. I tell myself she doesn't deserve a guy with so little social intelligence.

Meeting women is about getting to know yourself. Learning to hear no, and saying it too. It's about becoming more human by learning that rejection doesn't make you weak, it makes you stronger. That strength exudes vulnerability. The ability to tell a woman you like her, without demanding anything of her. Enjoying the moment, giving positive emotions.
Smiling, sharing the happiness you have for yourself to others.
That's what growing is all about. It's not taking things from others. It's learning to give. And everything you give, you receive.

 

Good luck on your date. Hopefully there is a mutually great connection and the night is an overall fun experience for you both.

You will be missed, your posts are interesting and thought-provoking. See you around here perhaps in the future

 

Yesterday was my date with the girl I approached on the street last week. It was the first approach after many weeks of not dating. And this approach was probably one of the best I've ever done. I explain this because I realized how taking care of myself on a daily basis has a huge impact on my relationships with others. And during this break period I invested all my time in taking care of myself

Anyway, we met up at 9:00 pm and went out for a drink. The feeling was there. She is a very talkative girl, smiling and very pretty which for me are rare qualities. I didn't have much in mind except the fact of giving, putting energy and positivity this date.
We then went to eat pizza in a restaurant. There wasn't an awkward moment in the evening as it was so fluid. Truly a date like I like.

I cleaned up my apartment because I felt like I could bring her home the first night. This is something I felt in the messages I sent and in our first meeting.
That's what I did, we talked until 5am before going to my room and we had sex, many times in the night.

But I think what made me happiest was the compliments she gave me. Even though I was aware of it, it's always nice to hear that from someone else. She told me that I knew what I wanted and that a guy has never been able to talk to her with such ease and respect. It was as if we had known each other forever and that from the first seconds of the interaction. She was even ready to give me her number after 1 minute which is very short. It's flattering because she's very pretty and confident. I think it's coming from the right place

To be able to approach a woman on the street, to see her again, to spend an almost magical moment with her and to have sex is an accomplishment. My 21 yo self would be proud because all those hard times finally paid off. And I'm glad I never gave up

Interestingly, I no longer meet toxic women who don't know what they want. I get rejected by these women and the pretty, self confident women want to see me again. It's amazing, before it was the other way around

 

How to date successfully despite doubts / negative thoughts

I'm not going to lie, before my date yesterday, I felt some doubts, some anxiety. Negative thoughts that told me I shouldn't make mistakes, what will she think of me, will I make this date cool. I could go on and on with this list.

The first thing to do in these moments is to avoid screens, and breathe. That's what I did. I sat outside and meditated. I observed my breathing for a few dozen minutes.

The second thing is the state of mind. It's realizing that those negative thoughts and doubts don't bring anything good to the moment you're going to spend with this girl.
It's thinking about her first. This is a woman you've approached, you've had a good time with. You don't want her to come for you, and because you have doubts, you're going to screw it up.
That's what I told myself yesterday. Out of respect for this girl, I allow myself to have doubts, to feel anxiety. But it won't affect my behavior. I'm not doing it for me. I do it for her. It's empathy. That's how you build good relationships.

Cultivating this mindset focused on giving women positive moments despite what you may be feeling makes it easier to accept yourself in the long run. I'm not saying it's easy, it takes strength. But you have no choice. You gain strength through experience and hard times.

 

These are some sentences I need to internalize. I realized something yesterday more clearly --- and that is that I have some inner resentment towards women, especially some of the more attractive ones.

This is because of some experiences in my past, such as a woman either rejecting me or rejecting me after having sex only one or two times. In my mind I built up some resentment because I would think "I only hooked up with her once, and another guy probably got to hook up with her 50 or 100 times". Over the years, this has grown, even to the point where I ended up getting mad just from being rejected by a girl.

And having this inner toxic personality, this directly prevents me from doing the things you mentioned, such as making the interaction about the girl feeling good and giving positive moments to her. Because by being so on the defensive against a possible rejection from a woman, I am preventing myself from building a relationship and giving women positive moments.

I read a few articles on resentment yesterday, and I hope to get rid of this resentment. I like the idea of just focusing on giving the woman positive moments, and making the date or the interaction about her and making her feel good. And not trying to take anything.

 

Recognizing this is the first step towards healing !

 

The warrior mentality

Approaching women, investing in yourself requires a warrior mentality. To fight against your doubts, against that voice that keeps telling you since you were young that you can't do this or that. That voice that tells you that you want to be accepted by others at all costs. moving your body and approaching a woman when your whole mind's telling you not to. Because you think you're going to get rejected, and that's probably what's going to happen. Man, it takes courage to do that.

It's been 5 years since I started and there's not a day that I haven't made an effort. Everything has been sweat, disillusionment, sometimes pain. But I have grown through these experiences. I was living in hell, and I landed almost in heaven. Not because I avoided pain. On the contrary, I knew I had to go through it. And keep going to matter what.

There are no results without effort. All that matters, like becoming free inside, asserting yourself, destroying your insecurities. All this is difficult and takes time. All the coaches who sell training and claim to have the solution are in denial. Or they are dishonest. Or both. There is no magic formula. All that works is experimenting, failing, and trying again.

And yes, you will suffer. But you'll thank people for making you suffer one day. Because you needed it. All they tried to tell you was "you're not ready yet, keep working".
Getting results means giving. And giving requires a tremendous amount of well-being. It requires inner strength. And strength develops with suffering. With failures, moments when you love a woman and you get rejected, you find yourself alone, without anyone.

Get up in the morning and tell yourself that you will be better than the day before. That no matter what you experience, positive, negative, nothing matters. What matters is who you will be in 5 years.

 

Hey man, reducing the noise in your head is reducing negative emotions, stress and living your life because you will be present most of the time of your day.This will allow you to enjoy every moment, to read the behavior of people in front of you and to act appropriately because you are not in your head. You are just there, you are you. It's even the definition of charisma. Charismatic people are just happy and at peace with themselves.

That's the highest value you can achieve and that's what women like. They don't want wealth and popularity, they want a guy who is personally accomplished and at peace with himself
When you reach that stage you have access to who you really are and not the anxious person, who wants to be accepted and not rejected.

Meditation, in my experience, has saved my life. Meditation does not only work on your anxiety. By meditating you learn to live alone and to be okay with it so you won't be dependent on others. If a woman leaves you, it will hurt but you are happy alone so it will hurt a lot less. Not to mention your attitude will be detached because you won't necessarily want to get a number, precisely because you are already at peace alone. And what's left if there's nothing to get?

Connection with others.

However, meditating for 15 minutes a day is not enough. I meditate several hours a day.
What you can do is removing distractions little by little and replacing them with meditation.

Then there are 2 other poles which are: healthy food and weight lifting. These will allow you to be happy, to have energy, to be well in your body and your mind.
In my experience these 3 things brought me to a level that I could never have reached if I hadn't practiced them every day.

Be careful, it doesn't mean you won't be afraid anymore. Feeling fear when you want to approach a woman is normal. But feeling anxiety and intrusive thoughts prevent you from being you. Because you don't really live, you live to please others..

 

Tonight I went out with 3 friends. 2 girls and a guy.
We went to an outdoor bar with lots of tables and people sitting around.
At one point one of my friends asked me if I could approach a woman here and now. They know I approach women but have never seen me take action.

I said yes of course, got up leaving my doubts aside and went to a table of 3 girls saying that I had noticed one of them while I was talking with my friends.
We talked for a few minutes and this girl wasn't interested but she admired the approach which is always nice.

As for my date, it's true that I lived a magic moment with her. I was supposed to see her tonight but she cancelled saying she has an allergy. I answered "oh no! Bad news, get well ". She said after that we would meet again when she was better.
I don't think that's an excuse but at the same time I keep approaching women because my evolution is more important than this relationship. And also because I prefer not to wait for anything

 

Our civilization was built with others. We live surrounded by people every day, we are social creatures and yet there are always people who tell you: others don't help you, you can succeed alone. It amazes me.

Building your life means nothing. If you mean making money by having a job, that's basing your value on a sand castle because everything can fall apart any day.
On the other hand, you can wait a long time before being good with women and having a good relationship with others if you don't do anything, because this skill is not going to come to you by having 100000 in your bank account

 

Emotional dependency - why I do all this

I still have emotional dependency. although not as much as before.
I've realized that getting attached to people is even healthy. But unfortunately there are often a whole bunch of negative emotions attached to that. fear of abandonment, of displeasing, of losing that girl.

I still have that fear. But the big difference between the me now and the me of 3 years ago is that I am aware of it. When I feel these fears, it's not me anymore. I have detached those emotions from who I am deep down.

I did it for myself, but also for girls. What is more unpleasant for a woman to receive a lot of messages of fears, useless messages, all that to communicate these fears.
She didn't ask for anything, all she wants is to live something cool with you.

It's ok to have these fears, know that, but when you feel them, spare others from your emotional dependence. Because often it only brings suffering. And you drive women away. If a woman cancels your date and you don't know if it's an excuse, tell her no problem, enjoy your day. If you had sex together and you really want to see her again but she doesn't, wish her to live her life to the fullest and enjoy it.
Bringing love despite what you may feel is what being strong is all about. It's letting go and taking yourself into consideration.

The most important thing is not to have multiple relationships, it is to make those relationships fulfilling. Getting to know yourself deeply. To remove some insecurities and accept the ones you can't change. When you approach a woman on the street, that's when you see how far you have to go. Your insecurities come to the surface. That's what you have to work on, not getting something from her.

On a much larger scale you are helping to make the world a better place. Growing for the sake of growing, without benefiting humanity or the world, is the very definition of cancer. You are improving yourself for others. For women, but also for your friends, your family, your loved ones. By becoming better you contribute to their happiness. And you can inspire them to change themselves.

Empathy is the most important quality you can develop and the one that will make you and others happy.

 

Ok this week I will try to meet a lot of women during the day. I'm seeing a girl right now but we've only seen each other once, we had sex and I don't know if we'll see each other again. She canceled my date on Friday saying she had an allergy but still said we'd see each other when she got better so the signals are mixed. It's always hard to read the situation in this kind of case. In fact it's impossible, better not to torture your mind with it and go on with your life.

There are a lot of new students in my city, I feel like I'm at the top of my game, even beyond what I could have imagined, so all the signals are green. All that's left is to take action and start this new stage of my life with positivity and discipline

 

Today I was in a bar with a friend who also approaches women.
He went to order another drink and there was a guy and 4 girls talking right next to him. The guy was talking about meditation so I approached the group and said "dude do you do meditation?

We talked for hours with the group and I have to say that I gave a lot of value. I took the guy's instagram, told him I'm having parties at my house with my friends and I'll invite him and the girls who were there too.

Otherwise I'm going to see the girl I'm seeing right now this Thursday. The allergy was real. I feel so good about myself that she would have missed out if it was fake ahah.
I will see where the relationship goes during this 2nd date

 

The biggest injustice is that despite all the efforts you will make,

-Women will always have more attention than you
-Women will always have more opportunities than you
-Women will always have more sex than you

But you know what women will never have?

Women will never have the mental strength you will acquire, failure after failure, to achieve your goals.

That's your real strength

 

The story with my date is over. It was short-lived, but very cool. I'm back on the street meeting women. I made an approach yesterday, I got rejected but very good interaction. With good vibes and positive emotions.
This afternoon I will try to approach about 10 women to get back into a rhythm. And decrease my fear

 

What ended up happening? You spent the night together and it was a great evening the first time hanging out, then she had an allergy and had to cancel on the second date, and then you had plans to hang out again last week I think?

 

Actually it's not finished, I saw her last night. It's just that sometimes I think it's over because we don't plan for the future. No promises, no names on our relationship. We spend incredible moments together but when we leave each other, we go back to live our own lives.
But we always end up meeting again. So I take back what I said, this relationship is not over. I don't know if we have a future together, I don't wonder. She doesn't either. We just enjoy the moments