90 days to 2017!

thanks everyone, almost at a week again and enjoying seeing the path opening up in front of me. The part of me that understands its not about the numbers is smiling at the part of me that secretly cares, both are good, both are necessary. Have good days and enjoy being free.

 

I def agree it's great to have goals but I know for me I really want to reach 30 Days of nofap and I get so fixated on reaching 30 days that I forget about the journey example would be day 1,2,3,4 etc and i focus on the destination 30 days. since I Been doing that i always eventually relapse and feel like shit that I didn't reach my goal of 30 days. so now I truly understand what living one day at a time means. I'm just trying to not masturbate today, and willing to do whatever today to stay in sobriety. when it comes to tomorrow, the day after, next week, who knows what's going to happen. I may end up relaping, I'll deal with those days when I get there but for now all I have control over is today and thats where my focus is.


QUOTE="maske, post: 656054, member: 79276"]@Islanders190 Couldn't agree more. For the past couple weeks I've been having experiences that always come down to the "live in the moment" concept, the idea of everything being a process and not a destination, and that finish lines don't really exist for the things we want in our lives. Even though the counter, streaks and the challenge goals help a little bit here, they're definitely not the most important thing. Taking it one day at a time sure is the simplest and most effective way to deal with this (and anything else in our lives for that matter).

Cheers![/QUOTE]

 

Now, I have completed 32 Days without PMO.

My first long streak was 30 Days, and it ended in a binge in May.

Then, I joined @maske 's 90 Day challenge toward the end of the year.

I made it 31 Days, then relapsed in late October.

Many guys on this site have far more success behind them than my 32 Days.

And, I am only at 50% of my goal of 64 Days for the end of the year.

Nonetheless, I'm taking a minute to celebrate my 32 Days because this is the longest time I've gone without PMO.

These have been some of the longest 32 days of my life, and it seemed like forever getting to this day.

The benefits during this time have been great, as hard as this has been.

All I will say is that I'm am beginning to see that I may be able to accomplish things in life which have long seemed impossible.

Now, I am back at the point where I left off when I broke my last streak.

This is the first day of improving on my limited success of the past.

 

Hay @DayOne44 are you ok? I read your post above, and am please for your 32 day achievement, well done. I saw your counter is back at zero though and wondered if you'd slipped again, if you have I hope you're back here soon and moving forward again. I checked in here this morning because I was feeling the urge but remembered that I'd probably hit my small goal of 8 days and could double it again which gave me some strength to resist. Hope you're ok.

 

@stephanD

Thank you for checking on me.

That really means a lot.

I've felt alone and depressed.

Last night was bad; my counter, as you see, tells the story.

That counter is now an embarrassment, and I must face it and what it means.

I wrote a post in the "Relapse Report" section titled "Hypocrite."

So, to answer your question, I'm not really "ok."

I am regretting that relapse and feeling the damage I did to myself.

It is Friday, and I don't need to be at the office.

There is work I should be doing, but I'll spend this day recovering.

I need to work on getting some other parts of my life in order today as well.

Rebooting does require a complete lifestyle change.

Today is Day One, again.

You were wise to get on this site when the urges were building.

That was what I should have been doing last night.

Now, you've made it to nine days.

Writing on this site this morning is helping me feel better.

Hope remains. Everything will be better in 30 days on the first of the year.

Thanks again for your concern and support.

 

Thanks @Burner1 .

This is the encouragement I need to keep going with NoFap and to continue posting here.

Congratulations on making 7 Days.

Continue to take confidence from this, as you are now.

A whole week has been a long time for me throughout nearly all of my life.

They say all that matters is that we improve on what we did in the past.

That's what I will do.

 

This is good reasoning, and I'm trying to use it myself.

NoFap is a process of starts and stops, and I tell myself and others that we need to just accept that.

You've had impressive streaks, and they do show success overall.

A while back, I started a thread in the "Rebooting" forum entitled "New Math."

It is old and buried somewhere in that forum, and I don't recall it getting much attention.

I applied the same logic as you are using in mathematical terms.

If my calculations are correct, I could have a 97% daily success rate in the 98 days between Sept. 25 and Jan. 1. 2017.

Thanks for your interest and concern.

 

Wow that is a nice way of thinking about it, I had a couple of relapses but on the whole I think I was probably pmo free for most of 2016, that is an amazing thing that I hadn't considered before. Lets keep going people we all know it is worth it.

 

also just checking in this morning because this has become a new trigger time for me and coming here just levels my head out somehow, it doesn't make it easy but it makes it easier to not relapse. @maske sorry that you are having a difficult time in your relationship at the moment and it's really wise of you to see how that may effect you.

 

Break-ups are rough, and recovering from one often takes time.

Getting over a lost relationship is a long process of grieving.

When she is gone, there will be a painful hole in your life, and it will take time for that to heal.

I've seen guys go through this.

I say these things, which you certainly know already, to encourage you to try to preserve the relationship, if possible.

You do say the two of you remain close, even now at the impending end. This may be worth saving.

Also, if this relationship must end, I'm giving you support in advance for the days to come.

Some hard times may be starting in your life, and to get through them, you may want to increase your NoFap participation.

A lot of us are here for you.

 

This site does have an effect in focusing our minds.

I'm trying to do a lot of work here throughout every day.

My urges are not strong again yet.

The problem with me is that after my relapse, I've lost momentum and have become indifferent.

By posting on this site, at least I am not behaving as though I'm indifferent to NoFap.

Then, I will hopefully be inspired and motivated again by the goals I had set for myself.

 

Good morning people.

 

I'm right behind you. I'm on day 9 and I agree that I feel blessed for the progress. I want to make the time I have useful instead of wasting it to pmo! Have a blessed day!

 

so haven't been around much because 2 weekends ago a situation happened, it triggered me, and I didn't manage to resist and now i've been on and off PMOing every few days. So here I am starting again, its bought up some other feelings and thoughts for me around self acceptance and compulsion which I'll try and write more about later. Hope you are all still doing well and are going to enjoy the holidays.

 

I am sure you must be feeling disappointed about the past couple weeks.

After regular bouts of PMO, you are probably in a fog.

It will take time for all that to clear and for your mind and body to heal and return to a healthier state.

This two-week relapse may not have been an entirely bad thing, however.

We all repeatedly say that we learn from our failures, and in that way, some good comes out of them.

You say that this time of relapse brought up "some other feelings and thoughts" and that these are "around self acceptance and compulsion."

Perhaps, you would have never discovered these feelings and problems had you not fallen into them with PMO.

(This, of course, is not to recommend relapse as a way of self-discovery. )

Now, you know what has been underlying your addiction and behavior, and now you know more about the issues with which you must deal.

Most importantly, you are back.

Keep us posted on what is going on.

 

It sounds like you are closer to a decision, albeit a very difficult one.

I've known people who have stayed in relationships only because they did not want to suffer being single again.

I imagine that there is security--or what you describe as "comfort"--in just being in a relationship, even if the relationship is not working.

That itself is a benefit, but as you describe it, there may also be a high cost.

What you want for the long term may be greater than short-term comfort.

It will be painful to break off this relationship, but it may be better to do that quickly, than to postpone it and spend more time avoiding, but anticipating an inevitable end.

On a personal note, I must say that reading this post and thinking about it makes me sad.

Looking on from the outside, relationships seem so rare, and to me, seeing one dissolve is tragic.

I worry about the loss the former lovers feel, and whether both of them can fully move on.

Inevitably, there will be a time of deep grieving after a break-up.

Then, one must live in the uncertainty of not knowing whether he will find another, and there will be jealousy and more pain knowing when the former partner is with someone else.

These feelings may be only my own as an inexperienced observer.

You may have a sense of resolution and closure if this relationship ends and be at peace with a sound decision.

Whatever the case, I can empathize.