90 days to 2017!

I know the discouragement and disappointment with oneself that comes with a reset.

Becoming overconfident and thinking we've overcome this only puts ourselves at greater risk.

A week ago, when I had to reset, it was in large part because of that.

Vigilance is necessary at all times.

Now, you must forgive yourself, and remember that the only rule is that we continue struggling against this addiction.

I relapsed twice last week. After the first one, none of this seemed to matter, and with my days lost, there was nothing more to lose.

I had already fallen into the mire of PMO, so I just stayed there and indulged again, with the result that I only felt worse yet.

Disappointment in oneself is even more of a risk than overconfidence. That leads to indifference.

I am still disappointed and discouraged now that my lofty goal for 2016 has become impossible.

Nonetheless, after almost a week, I am healing and beginning to recover from what I did to myself.

You will do the same.

There is still a lot of time remaining in this year, and we must focus on that.

 

@DayOne44 Thanks, I'm at home alone today and having slipped once recently my brain was still chasing for more, so I came here to connect with some clear minded people and it was nice to read your message. For me at the beginning it felt like a real struggle to resist and that made me very aware of it, after lots of days it does get easier and i think thats when it can sneak up on you, it becomes less of a struggle but when the urge comes again your not ready for it. I need to learn that even though it might get easier (and it has got so much easier than it was 3 months ago) when that urge comes it's going to hurt a bit to resist it, your basically pushing against where your brain wants to go and thats going to still cause a bit of tension in yourself, for me the most important thing was learning to accept that tension, to say ok well I'm feeling a bit crap and frustrated now but I'm going to just carry on feeling crap and frustrated for a while, it will pass and i don't need to fall back into my old habit of trying to release that tension by looking at porn. Glad to see your on a solid 6 days, keep going.

 

When we are alone, as I too was today and often am, there is only our thoughts, which often are not good.

NoFap is here, and it is full of "clear minded people" to help us get our focus back.

In no way am I a success story, but regardless of my failures, I can still help myself by trying to help others.

This afternoon, thoughts which rationalized PMO went through my head, saying that, in my life circumstances, it might be okay.

PMO is never okay for the recovering addict.

I am here on NoFap now to see that again, and I write this to remind myself of this truth.

From what you write, it is clear that you are learning a lot about yourself.

Learning about oneself is the biggest part of this journey.

We must learn how our bodies, brains, and entire lives work to overcome this.

Resisting those urges does hurt for a time; it is insanely uncomfortable.

Thanks for your assurance that this is only temporary, and for reminding me that I must simply sit with the tension until it soon passes.

 

Yes, as @maske explains, this is about "the process."

This is a process of learning about oneself, often through failure, and it's a process of getting stronger.

When you fail, you learn how you can fail. You discover your triggers and risky habits.

Then, you have the knowledge to be on guard against those, and deal with them when they occur.

Otherwise, you are defenseless and get hit by surprise.

PMO is a sheltered place of retreat from the world.

Without PMO as an escape, we are left to face directly all of the problems of our lives.

This is a process of learning how to find solutions to those and correct personal defects which PMO has made us ignore.

More than just stopping our PMO habits, we are trying to live as genuine human beings.

The energy we once wasted in PMO will fuel this learning and growth, and this is what we will have when PMO is gone.

I failed twice last week in my 98 day challenge. I sorely regret my failure, and I am still discouraged.

Yet, not everything I gained over 31 days of success was blown in two incidents of PMO.

Over this past week, I could feel that some of my developed "superpowers" remained.

One perspective on this failure is philosophical, and it can also be viewed in exact mathematical terms.

I can no longer have 98 consecutive days in 2016. Still, there are 98 days in this block of time I marked off.

Two times I failed in this 98 day period.

So far, I did not look at porn or masturbate in 39 of these 98 days. (That is regardless of their not being consecutive.)

There are 57 days remaining.

It is possible, then, that out of 98 days, there can be no PMO in 96 of those days. (39 successful + 57 remaining = 96 days).

That would be a 98% success rate. (96/98)100 = 98%

I can no longer have 98 consecutive days, but I absolutely can be 98% successful in this challenge.

A score of 98% is excellent in any endeavor. In school, that is an "A+."

 

@maske Great to hear from you!

It's late, and I'm dead tired.

All that I can say now is that, in spite of everything, I'm holding steady.

Things will get better. They must.

I'll have more to say at a later time.

For now,

Good Night.

 

Wow! you are doing so well. The year be over quickly.

Right now I am 156 days PMO free.

 

I hadn't realised but I've been avoiding being here because I know I've been close to failing for awhile now and eventually did this evening. I guess thats what it took to make me return here and get back on the road again. I'm am glad and thankful for being here and that there are other people who care how we are all doing but it's a long road and I feel tired at the moment but I know these things come in cycles and once this part is over again I'll feel much better than I do now. Keep going everybody. I've made it once and I'm going to make it again.

 

Morning check in. I find the first few days back difficult but know it gets easier from here on in.

 

Hey I just joined this website and am interested in beating this addition. I have been trying to beat it for a long time now and I think this website will help me. Its not 90 days to 2017 but I figured the remainder of the year I can resist and take up the challenge.
Problem is I don't know how to use this website to maximize it to help me resist. Please help me if you can.

 

Hello @That_Annonymous_Guy and welcome. Get yourself a tracker, try clicking on one that you see on this page, it's sometime a bit hit and miss, but I think everybody would say it's a great help especially in the early days to have a clear goal and see your days counting up, when you hit your goal, don't go and fap (obviously) set a new goal. Honestly it's great to be here, glad you found us, it's difficult at times but so so so worth the effort.

 

I like this deal but I am just started 4 days ago but I will keep it till 2017 wait and see how good I am changed after quitting pmo

 

Checking in. Hope everyone is doing ok out there.

 

Keep on going, you can do this.

 

Hey, thanks for the help. How do I view the tracker icon. Where is it?

 

only way to get to jan 1 2017 is to take it one day at a time. focusing on the now and what we need to do to be sober today is how were gonna achieve that goal. shouldn't even be looking that far ahead BTW


QUOTE="maske, post: 613697, member: 79276"]Hey guys!

I've been away from the forums for a month, after managing to complete 90 days without PMO, but I'm sad to say that I got back to my old habits.

I really want to reach it again and really just drop pmo for good, because I know I can do it and it will be good for me. So for the last week I've been thinking about it and I figured that from today, October 3, 2016 there are exactly 90 days to January 1, 2017. And knowing that any and every little thing can help as a motivation, the idea of reaching 90 days in the first day of the year, feeling refreshed and ready to tackle all those new year's resolutions is such a good way to boost my confidence and fight the urges.

So, if there's anyone who likes the idea and is willing to make it to the first day of 2017 without pmo from now on, I invite you to also post on this thread!

Cheers![/QUOTE]