So I am really spending too much time at the computer. And spending a ton of time watching youtube. Its little dopamine and lets me escape reality I guess. I'll just turn to it when I feel like it. I think if I fix that then it'll be easier to not pmo. Either way I don't know.
In exactly 3 months I am going on a holiday, so today seems like a perfect day to start a 3-month streak, which will be completed exactly on the day that my holiday starts. So today is day 1.
Day 2/90 I am fighting a lot of urges till now today. I was able to counter consciously the thoughts to see nude and touch my self. I was successful for now. Today I was able to put my better self infront of pmo. The urges were pretty strong. I hope I will be able to resist the urges for the rest of my journey like today. Cheers to our better selfs.
43 Day check-in. My body struggles against change, but it helps me notice there is one. I will always be an addict, but my mind is looking for other ways to act-out. I accept myslef and my symtomes: .fear of other's opinion and rejection .lack of self esteam .emotional dependency and preocupation .addiction to love, porn and masturbation To have depicted so much things means that I am dealing with my problem and that I am doing it my way. Good luck to all here!!
Had a relapse today on Day 01/90... I refuse to feel the guilt and shame... Will be starting again tommorrow .. Another day ,another opportunity. The battle is ours to win, no matter how many times we fall. Wish me luck.
Day 2/90 on the go. Guys today I resisted myself from many urges. Also while selecting movies I made sure there are no nude scenes or made sure there are minimum. But when I was watching the movie, I came across the nude scenes, well I didn't indulge into it much but i felt like it's ok if there are scenes in the middle and just watched it and sometimes ignored the scenes. But I liked it. So should I reset my counter? I don't know what to do. Later I felt like I wanted to watch nude scenes like that...but I didn't watch..I just controlled. So what should I do? Edit: never mind. I just relapsed.
Day 4/90. Hoping to keep this streak going this week. Easter hit me in a new way this weekend because of my failure on Thursday - the grace of God is truly all that I need, the only thing that can sustain me when I realize the depth of my brokenness. Thank God for that. And I hope that through his strength and work in me, and through my efforts and exertions, I can look back at the end of this week on a week without PMO at all.