If you're single and watching porn you're not hurting anyone else but yourself. If you're in a relationship you are then lusting after other women other than who you're with so it's kinda cheating. Everyone has their different definitions of cheating, but I made it clear before the relationship that I view porn as cheating (and it also is a trigger for my own relapse with anorexia hence why I couldn't have porn within the relationship). Would you be okay with your wife or long term gf to be lusting after other men while with you?
Every relationship has boundaries, even if they are unspoken. Every person has boundaries, even if they haven't brought them to the table of relationship yet. Often, until one crosses a Boundary it does not come up. In my opinion, it's just best to discuss this upfront. What constitution is that of cheating (including cyber infidelity) Is flirting OK? Or too far? Where is this going? If at all Religion What, if anything, is too serious to joke about? And so on. All the "hot buttons" essentially.
I actually heard it put like this yesterday... Cyber infidelity is men watching porn and women texting naked pictures to other men. That's the equivalent. End quote
@Kenzi that is very interesting. My guy friend (who I did sleep with) when I was first with my husband by accidentally sent me a picture of himself in his boxers flexing and I was like, "oh" and my husband saw it and was so hurt and upset that he took my phone and deleted the image. I was very shocked at his reaction but totally understood. I know that if I ever sent a suggestive image to someone else my husband would call that cheating and say that we had to have an emergency therapy session or something haha
Before I was with a PA, I didn't consider it cheating. I thought it was normal and I never had a problem with it. I also never had problems in bed and men flocked to me. That being said, now I do consider it cheating when it's to the degree PA's use it. And I don't think PA's can moderate or use PMO like normal people, so it's not an option for them. It's cheating when you choose it over your spouse, your love, your hopes, dreams, life.
Well I did once date a catalog model who people would ask for pictures. Did it bother me? No. She's with me at the end of the day. She's a person not a trophy. I'm not very possessive.
So I feel/felt pretty much the same as @SOSo. I feel it's cheating mostly bc it is taking away from my sex life. Also I've watched porn by myself for M purposes before but I don't think I got off on watching or lusting after the P stars. For me it was just the noises and scene in which it's playing out. And it's wierd but I think I just figured out were some of my own fetishes came from by reflecting about this...hmmm
I have female friends who are married especially at work. Some I have known for a decade plus. They usually want to know about my love life or lack of it. Other than one of them telling me her husband gave her a "surprise" (unexpected pregnancy) the conversation is pretty vanilla.
Conversion with my SO recently was... I knew my Pstars... You just wanted Hundreds or thousands of girls, didn't care ages or where they were from or whatever. I at least knew about who I was looking at. I might have seen every movie but I knew who I was looking at. IMO that says a lot about both of us.
Most women are vanilla. This surprised my SO. He thought all women practiced kissing each other before they kissed boys... No you lezbo voyeur. If that were true I'd have kissed all the girls I'd have ever wanted to kiss on that principle alone! Men are idiots as porn has degraded their Grey matter away... Like ding doing, pizza and can I have your sausage? Get a clue Get a fuckin clue!
It was a good conversation. Lighthearted, happy. Although, you bring up a interesting topic How much disclosure with other people about your sex life (obviously not NoFap, but IRL) is too much disclosure? What is too far?
Funny bc I was just telling a coworker (been working together for a decade too) about my vaca and the water park thing which lead into me flashing my husband then me saying to my husband "those are my eyes..my boobs are down here"..which I teased him that I usually have to say the opposite to men. While we thought it was funny...when he shared the story w his wife..she did not...mostly bc he didn't share how that even came up in conversation... And it came up in conversation bc I was saying how men are IDIOTS (bc of the water park thing)...