I have been spared from the common PMO related physical symptoms (PIED, DE). My wife is even OK with P use, but for me it is not something that I want in my life. I have given enough of my life to it already.
Knock off that foreplay and rub my shoulders...these kids are heavy is not at all an uncommon or unreasonable sentiment in our house.
Great post! My wife and I have been married for 16 years and I always believed the lie. Recently she told me the same thing, she'd rather have me go quicker, it makes her feel like she is sexy and attractive and that she does it for me. Not just porn but regular movies, comments women make in the media. It all leads us to believe we have to go for hours to satisfy her. So grateful for this post. It is right in line and makes me feel like I can get there. My issue is t PE, it is DE. I think I'm large part due to years of learning to hold it back while using porn and when having sex with a woman. So now my goal is different. Thanks again for the post.
I love foreplay - I would be happy if it lasted as long as sex. I want to explore her body. My wife just wants to get straight to it though - always has. I'm ashamed to admit it but sometimes I'll look up during foreplay and she has a slightly bored look on her face. Doesn't do much for my self confidence. She's always very engaged and obviously focused on us when we're having intercourse. I think she orgasms from digital or oral manipulation (she says she does), but I think she'd just rather have her orgasms from intercourse. I think maybe I tend to be too gentle overall - one of the first things she ever told me was to be a little more assertive and physical during sex, but that's not really me. This made me laugh, but also made me wonder what chores my wife is doing mentally when she's got that look on her face during foreplay.
My hubby used to do none at all or if he did it was most definitely out of obligation or a chore, which was basically like none at all. The last couple of years he has begun to enjoy it though, and I mean, really enjoy it! I don't know what changed for him but I am definitely not complaining.
It may be just me, but I have a bit of a problem with the whole concept of "foreplay" <Potential triggers ahead> Most definitions describe foreplay (though not in these words) as the things you do to get warmed up before intercourse. To my mind, this treats PIV as the headline act, and foreplay as the tedious support band you have to endure before you get to enjoy what you came for. Or (for Harry Potter fans) it is the bricks you have to hit with your umbrella before the wall opens up and you can get into her Diagon Alley. To me, making love at its best isn't like that at all. Everything from the first, fully clothed, kiss through to the cuddle when you have finished in whatever way you both want, is part of a continuum of activities of equal value. Yes, PIV is special and intimate and can be wonderful for both, but so for me are stroking, touching, holding, kissing, looking into each other's eyes and <I did warn you...> for me, nothing is more intimate and special than experiencing my wife orgasm with my face between her legs, feeling every spasm on my lips and tongue. It feel as if for those wonderful moments, she has shared her whole self with me and allowed me to be part of her body. So for me, less of a rock concert with the headline act building up to their usual big number at the end, but more of high-quality private art exhibition with pleasure to be found by lingering on each and every exhibit. ANH
Have you ever tried to do what she has asked? My wife sounds similar to yours in this respect. I have found the way that she responds when I am more assertive to be very rewarding (for both of us).