Stamina: The lies that porn tells men

I can be more or less assertive in terms of taking her at unexpected times, moving her into a position I like, direct words, or initiating certain things... And she responds well to this, but at times she still seems to want more than I feel comfortable with. It's almost like she doesn't just want me to be assertive, but she wants me to be mean or right at the borderline of me hurting her. Maybe it makes me a less satisfying lover to her - but it's just not in me to do it.

I should say that it's been a while (years) since she asked for something like this. I don't know if her desires have changed or if she's just given up on it.

 

I'd say women's desires definitely change over time... Like I like different things in the summer vs in the winter even... Not just as I'm getting older.

Psst***this is where communication comes in and is handy!
Haha

 

Have you ever read a book called Brave New World? All people are made and designed in labs only to then be conditioned to follow a set of 'rules' (or perceptions) in life. There are no Mothers or Fathers, no siblings, just specifically designed people with uses for different work. There isnt such a thing as relationships in the book, people just screw everyone and take drugs to make themselves feel happy!

 

Yes.
It's insane.
It's kinda like that movie... The island.
But with sex.
And yes, men in Japan do think relationships are hard.... They are essentially doing what American and UK guys are doing... Just without PMO.
They want the emotional connection.
Our guys want a O.
That's the difference.
They made a video game... PAs use porn clips.... Both found it through a screen and made women obsolete

 

Maybe my views are due to me liking George Orwell and Aldous Huxley too much, but I can't help but feel as if the society we live in is sliding towards the worlds potrayed in those books, to basically live like savages with the illusion of liberty and civilisation. So much of what makes us human is free will, to have a choice, to be able to craft solutions to problems, to be able to connect and to deny ourselves of all sorts of things. It is as if people just want happiness without any struggle, and they are succeeding in crafting solutions to what they want, I mean for goodness sake designer babies are beginning to come on the scene! And then what about the slowing/reversal of old age!

 

I laughed with the analogies and cried in the beauty (as in I snort laughed twice and got tears cuddling my chin). That was a lovely post. I couldn't agree more.

 

Well...
Foreplay is kind of like the comedian... Lol

 

Wow this is me. I sit around cringing listening to women go on and on about getting oral or sex that eclipses 5 minutes. I wouldn't do it as a guy sorry just no. I have no problem giving , I think it's an inny vs outty thing , plus if I'm making out with a guy and it's good I'm ready to seal the deal easily. I think I've literally seen less than 5 accumulated minutes of porn my entire life. Idk, if I'm lip locked with someone I'm already highly attracted to them. It doesn't take much, hence why it was absolute hell with my PA who wanted to recreate everything he'd seen that made women scream for days in porn. All it did was make me want to get him off of me.
This was a great post. I think you have to approach sex like marriage. Don't look to change the person. Communicate and listen to them , if it meshes with you perfect. If it doesn't accept it or move on.

 

Thank you!

 

@Salvo

 

Revival
@Qnb42078

 

Thanks ! Great thread ! I myself am from start to finish 30 min tops ! Unless there’s tequila involved then forget it haha

 

NO ! A HARD NO !
I meant from start to finish including foreplay ! I O , let him have a lil more fun then make him O . I can’t do much more than that unless we are on vacation and I’m drinking lol

 

I’m the wife lol

 

One time when my wife and I were having sex she literally stopped and blurted out some to do list item that she had forgot about that day.

That stuff used to piss me off big time! I used to be obsessed about how long sex lasted, how good I was, how enjoyable it was for her etc etc. I was so busy trying to make it "perfect" I was really just ruining it the whole time.

Porn taught me everything I knew about sex before marriage and so I thought I had to last for as long as possible and be as "sexy" as possible. Truth is my wife just wants me to talk to her, cuddle, kiss and then have sex for 5- 10 minutes, then talk some more and cuddle. This is so against everything I learned from my porn education but it is real and really it's more enjoyable and connecting.

 

So I have the same porn education, tempered with a bent towards romance. What seems like it should be normal to me is what you've outlined for maybe 30% of the time, the rest being quickies, the occasional 2 hr session, shower sex, and wild I-need-you-now sex. And where does dressing sexy and just enjoying turning each other on fit in? I admit I'm lost. What does normal, long term married adult sex look like?!?!!