Congratulations. I have been keeping up with all of your posts and each time your stories surprise me more and more. Keep it up man all the way. You are growing both mentally and spiritually. Stay clean
Thank you very much @Love_Travelling for your words of support . I am happy yopu read some of my posts and found them helpful Keep on fighting Fercho
Wow! You're so awesome that you've stopped counting days. Heck, even counting weeks isn't enough anymore. You're counting months and years! A total inspiration!
I want to point our the great success of Sex Addicts Annonymous with the 12 Steps Program. Look at it at the internet. First, admitting they are powerless over their addictive sexual behavior and that their lives are unmanageable; believing that a Power greater than theirselves can restore them to sanity; making a decision to turn their will and their lives to the care of God as they understand God, etc., etc. Sex Addicts Annonyumous copied the 12 Steps Program from Alcoholics Annonymous and both groups have had great success. I hope and pray that all the men at NoFap may have the same success.
That is correct @esforzado , are you currently doing that? Or know if any good resource? Thank you Stay clean
badeae, I practically have lived all my life with "this". That's the source, the only one decisive and effective . Willpower is so weak, when we men come to face addictions, which are strongly rooted in us, so failures are very much at hand, as our own experience sadly tells us. As the Bible´s saying goes: "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, so be vigilant and pray". That is precisely the same attitude of the Twelve Steps: not using only "natural resources" as making purposes in our mind, but also "supernatural resources", i. e., asking a Power greater than ourselves (God), to restore our unmaneageable lives back to sanity.
That story is so close to home I've lost my family because of my addiction good work hope I can do the same
I was very close to that @Gary72 After that visit to the escort, I paid for a gay porn site with my credit card, knowing that my sons are all the time watching the account in their App, to control their expenses (we share cards). I knew i could be discovered, but my brain was desperately asking for help so i did it anyway ( In the past i used PayPal so they could not discover me). My older son saw that expense and asked the three of us in WhatsApp about it, and I lied saying that it was a business subscription. He did not believe me and called the e-billing system, and they told him it was a gay porn site. they even gave him my password, which he knows it is mine. So he called me back, and pretended "I had been hacked". i almost fainted, I felt so embarrassed! He ended the call saying: "We do not want to hurt Mom". I think he never believed my story. I felt so guilty! Two days later , in a middle of a big depression, I found NoFap. I do not remember why a window about PMO addiction pop up in my screen. I was not watching porn because I was in the gym bike. I still remember how shocked i got when i started reading about Porn addiction, (which i had never heard before) and realized i was an addict. I could not believe it, but every description matched. There was a survey with 20 questions to 'know if you are a PMO addict". At the 5th question i already knew that i was in deep shit. I got the maximum amount of points you can. That was a gift of God I will always appreciate. I was too close to lose my kids and wife, or even to try to commit suicide. I had no energy for work, no focus. I was spending thousand of dollars in porn sites and escorts. Every day sober is a gift for me. Keep on fighting Fercho
Get touched. Sometimes we do shameful things to have the pleasure of porn or something alike. But we are more than this, we can go out and do good to people around us
Yesterday night I got some urges. I believe that they were triggered by a model I saw in TV . When my wife fell asleep I started browsing some erotic gay stories in a site I used to read almost every day before starting my reboot I knew that this was very stupid since the minute I open this website, but I couldn't Avoid it. I started reading one of these stories during almost 5 minutes, I knew it was very silly but I couldn't stop reading it. It was the kind of stories about one man submitting and humiliating another one that I used to find very triggering probably because this reminds me when I was raped. Fortunately I did not touch myself and five minutes later my son sent me a text about an article he found interesting in the newspaper, so I took advantage of this, closed The erotic stories website and started reading this article until I cool down and forgot . I was disturbed but I managed to fall asleep. under the light of the day I realized how stupid that story was, and even more stupid opening this website at the very beginning. Dear Fapstronauts : we need to be in full alert 24/7. We cannot lower our guard for a few minutes, because the Gremlin will take advantage of our distraction and try to attack. Even after 22 months he's inside me still alive , weak and sleepy but still alive. I Managed To avoid failing but I was closer than any time in the last few months. Stay alert and let's keep on fighting Fercho 4 minutes ago Reply
Yes @Plank2017 that is right. We all did things which we are ashamed of, we regret what we did and cannot believe we were this beast Getting rid of the addiction and helping other fellow members to do it is a way to clean our last misbehaving and set the clean ground for the rest of our life clean and happy Fercho
Congratulations. 22 months is a long time. I can relate to the battle between your head and your addiction. I find your story encouraging.
Thank you very much @Peetie22 , it is a tough battle and some days it feels impossible. But it is 100% worth it Fercho
Thank you very much @MrGeonov for your words of support. Congratulation to you too, you are almost one month PMO free!
Hey . 22 month is a true monumental effort. You have everything to continue and de-root the addiction for good. Keep it up
This new counter look great but for some reason it stopped counting after 500 days On the one side this is like symbol: there is a moment in our life that we should forget about the past and just look forward to the future and MoveOn. On the other hand this is a bit scary. I've seen so many long-term rebooters coming back because they failed after two or three years clean So the question is when we should leave the site? I don't want to do it prematurely Forget about my past, become complacent and relapse. This is why you choose to stay involved in this site. To help other members and not to forget that I am a rehabilitated porn addict Even if my counter it's frozen forever in 500 days ,which is much less than the almost 700 I already have Let's keep fighting Fercho