22 Months of free life...almost getting to 2 years!!!

Thank you @Boxer477 . You are right, we face a lot of risks living as addicts , but we are so blind that we cannot grasp them
O entry though a lot of SHO in my lithe but fortunately I could get out of this without ruining my life completely
I know I will be paying my debts for all the damage I caused ( specially to my wife) many more years
But I deserve it, and this will remind me how important is to stay clean and never get back
Fercho

 

Thank you for your kind words @Lyart , writing helps me a lot to put things in perspective and to avoid losing my focus
Some day, when this is totally in the past, I may write about it and make it public , or even will dare to speak out about porn addiction so more people ( specially teenagers ) become more aware
Keep on the good fight
Fercho

 

Thank you so much @Runtilmylegsdropoff , I do not know if I deserve that title. Actually becoming a super hero es all my life one of the reasons I sunk in PMO. I was too much a perfectionist , and in porn everything pretends to be perfect , right ? But now we know it is not the case, actually is all bullshit.

Fercho

 

That’s absolutely right @owaissss . I like to think now that it is not a monster, because this makes me feel kind of bipolar. Mark Queppet from NoFap Academy told me that I should accept myself with unconditional love, not fight it. Which does not mean accepting I need to act in my urges, but firmly “telling myself”: I will not act on my urges because it is not the right thing for me to do, it will hurt me”.
It may sound kind of lame but it really works. I am also meditating every day using an App called Headspace, they have a series called Coping with Urges, which is also super helpful
Stay strong
Fercho
PS: it is funny how you fund such an old post, it is more than a year and a half old

 

Thanks to some Fapstronaut who liked this old post I had the chance to read it again. It is so good to have this testimonials of our recovery process to remember all the pain and efforts it took to get out of the addiction after so many years of abuse
I cannot believe now how I managed to live a double life, pretending to be a loving caring father and husband while hiding my addiction to PMO, escorts and hook ups
Some days feel a bit harder , still noe after four years
But most of the days I feel happier, optimistic, and without that shitty sadness and pressure on the chest that I used to feel all the time.
I may have urges once or twice a week, sometimes they are stronger and sometimes I can resist them more easily
Some days the addict wants to tell me : come on, let’s do it! What do you have to lose? It’s just one time and we will get a lot of pleasure.
But now I can reply: Thank you my friend, but no. This is not who I am, this is not how I want to live the rest of my life
Let’s keep on fighting
Fercho