As a moderator, I stand up for the OP if there are arguments clogging the thread. But yes, IGY has to decide for himself if he doesn't want to argue.
Of course it is an argument! This thread was a space where I could talk about some very traumatic stuff and was receiving some support, but now it is littered with your asinine comments. You have ruined it! Thank you so fucking much!
Please quote where I gave an asinine comment ? You know that my comments are intended to be constructive and helpful ? Come on @IGY, get out of the "victim" role, you are an adult! This is to be considered a constructive comment ?
Just let it be man.. your intentions r probably gud so I think igy shud reconsider bt dats upto igy... He isn't playin a victim.. he's hurt and evry1 need to show sum vulnerability sumtyms... It's gud to let it out and get some assurance.. Igy I advice u to keep ur cool and jst don't reply if u dont lyk wat he's saying.. I'm sorry snow...
I know!! And I understand him! I have made similar experiences with my parents ! Again, please understand that I want to help him. There is an underlying subconscious thinking "I am hurt because that happened to me" - well, the facts are correct, but if you want a life, then you must step out of internal negative loop. I was depressive for 30 years, and it stoppend when I finally took responsibility for myself.
OK I got your point and I completely agree wit u.. wat u r sayin is makin sense to me.. Bt der is tendency to misunderstand dat u r bein arrogant.. gud if dats nt the case.. my English mayb bad bt it's a lesson to u to use ur words better brother...
I've also made the call in the past to focus on physical relationships and cut off virtual relationships. So like me, with him it was probably not anything personal. Sometimes you have to be intentional about what you want in your life and what you're prepared to invest in. Enjoy the memories of the good times you had together and move on. A chapter closes and a new one begins. Continue growing. You do seem very easily upset and then lash out at other users. Hell, I saw that you dug up a months old post to tell the poster he's a cunt because you didn't like his opinion. @SnowWhite has offered great insights and been very patient with you. That's something you should be looking to take advantage of and see what he can teach you about your emotions. We're all adults here that want to become better people. I'd love to see you really get a grip on your demons, turn your life around, and become a mentor to younger users on this forum.
Thanks @Irish Explorer, in fact I can just understand @IGY pretty well. From my own past and my earlier behaviour, I know that when you leash out, you in fact leash out on yourself. "How you treat others is how you really feel inside" A depression is nothing else than "leashing on yourself". It all goes down to our past. As a child you need love and care. But if you get hurt instead, then you either cover up, run away or you go in aggressive defense. As an adult, you keep this behaviour, and this is the basis of mental issues and the addiction. All psychological treatment goes the way that you find the self assurance and love within yourself. That's what I want to say with "take responsiblity for yourself". I mean it to strengthen oneself. When you start to decide on your own, when you do the things you really like, and when you are responsible for yourself, then you are growing inside. Your inner self becomes stronger, you will have success, and you begin to believe in yourself again. And when you are in consent with yourself, you will be also be other people. BTW, I went all the same way, because I had no nice childhood either. Otherwise I wouldn't be on this site.
Thank you for your message @Irish Explorer. You are right, my former online friend probably did not have anything personal against me. But it is still less than a week ago and it felt and still feels personal. I have a (disordered) mind set thst feelings are facts. This is a fallacy, of course, but the internal imperative is overwhelming at times of emotional upset. It may not seem like it, but I would like to get a grip on my demons, and be a more consistent force for good for the young.
One of the best is to focus on buildig up things you want to build. Your energy can either be burnt up in PMO ezesses or in creating things.
"How you treat others is how you really feel inside". How true. But how I feel inside is not constant and my behaviour(s) are irrational and erratic. But that realisation is retrospective, I struggle to "see it" when I get caught up in an emotional tempest. This tempest is, in fact, a diagnosed pathology: emotionally unstable personality disorder, borderline type (BPD).
Yes, I agree with all of this. It may seem to you that I do not take responsibility for my actions. But that is untrue. But I can see how it would appear to you as such when I am caught up in an emotional meltdown which I struggle to control.
I empathise with the elements over which you had no control and how you took control and responsibility for your actions going forward. I am attempting this (since a few years now) and I am committed to my personal self-development.
Igy I completely agree wid Irish when he calls online relationships as virtual.. they cnt go on forever I'm sorry abt the disorder man... dats terrible. I asked u y u made a big deal out of this online friendship bt nw I understand y u r affected so much.. hope u find peace soon.
IGY, I've IGY, I have seen you around Nofap and regard you as encourager. Thanks for sharing your hurts too. All the best to you.
That's great. Good to see you empathising together. It takes remarkable courage to open up like you have IGY. You and Snow White have also shown admirable humility and grace as you put down any vexations you had against each other and had an honest discussion. We are all thankful to have you here IGY. You have been a great encourager to me and many others. Yes, you sometimes lash out unreasonably against users, but for the most part they remain calm and okay. It's easier to understand now that you have opened up about your BPD. Normally people (me for example) think something like 'this is the internet, I won't let it upset or anger me, I will be mostly indifferent to any personal attacks.' To varying degrees, anyway. Of course you'd like to be able to think like this, IGY, you didn't chose to get BPD My heart goes out to you mate. To lose control of your emotions, and only realise this afterwards, must be very hard. But I have witnessed a very positive, encouraging discussion on this thread. Mutual emmpathy, respect and love - makes me proud of humanity, and impressed by the way the internet can accommodate this. Keep it up everyone.