51? Oh my God, you are full of life. I can sense it on your writing as the power of youth coming up. You might be 51 but your soul has rejuvenate. Congratulation!!!
@Mr. Tumnus I have been on a similar path, albeit a much shorter streak. My wife has had no interest in sex for some time. Having three kids and a mother in law who judged her didn't help. I spent years angry about not having enough sex. After going on hard mode I discovered the benefits of semen retention and that has given me the ability to step back and reflect on this situation more. I have come closer to acceptance of what is. I am still hoping my wife my rediscover some sexual passion but I realize that is not under my control. Options 1 and 2 just aren't on the table for me. I am curious if being celibate for so long you've discovered transmutation of the sexual energy. I developed what some have described as a Kundalini awakening. In the Taoist tradition they call it valley orgasms. Experiences of intense sexual like pleasure that roll over me when I am resting. Did any of these experiences happen to you? If not, how have you dealt with the loss of the experience of O or other sexual pleasure. Did you just direct your energy to other things? Despite my best efforts at meditation, exercise and the like, the sexual energy remains very strongly present and I've needed to find ways to channel it with meditation practices.
My wife also lost passion in sex because she is pregnant. This is our 3rd child. First I confuse. But make decision to learn yoga meditation and tantra. Now I am grateful for ghe circumstance. Because its allow me yo learn and develop new skills. I am now able to transmute the urge when its arise. I also develop peacefullness and awareness into my daily life. One of member here pointed direction about the practice. What kind of practice that you guys use?
Bikinhappy, I've been practicing a combination of Taoist meditation and some self hypnosis. I am able to transmute the energy for a few weeks before it gets too intense. I have not yet figured out a way to reliably do semen retention on hard mode nofap (i.e. there have been some spontaneous emissions)
Thanks. I did M again- almost at two years clean - but for positive reasons: I needed to make a baby. I am now back on the wagon.