Thanks for this. We are clearly in a similar situation. My thought process goes like this: 1. The past is the past. If I truly love my wife then I also accept our lives are entwined until one of us leaves this mortal coil. My confidence in her is such that I know she feels this way about me. 2. Affairs outside the marriage is not something that could make me happy. I know this about myself. Paying for sex is as bad as pmo. It just isn't happening. 3. Change in life is inevitable. I accept this. I see change every day I look at myself in the mirror. 4. If change is inevitable, it is better to embrace it rather than run from it. Accept the change, accept the fact that life's goal posts are moving, and adapt to make my life as good as it can be, given the constraints I put on myself. Key for me is the realisation that I am choosing celibacy. I will make my celibacy something I can celebrate.
Thanks for sharing your story. Yours is more gut wrenching than the single 20 year olds who post here (Im one of em) Im pretty sure my step dad uses porn, but he thinks its 'natural ' even though hes a complete ass and has horrible marriage. My mother is quite broken and I know they dont have sex. Just a sad state of affairs. Im glad I haven't married because I know if I cant handle this first, I would not be worthy of my future love. I dont want to bring kids into a world of addiction and hurt.
Yes. There are an awful lot of unhappy marriages. Alas, pmo addiction is about as natural as shooting up heroin. Thanks for the reply.
Congratulations on being PMO free for over a year now. The things you did in the past were my common things, going to bed earlier, waking earlier, wishing she’d leave the house, etc.... all so I could PMO. Thanks for the encouragement that it can be done.
Many thanks all for your support and reading my story. We can all beat this terrible addiction. If I can do it, anyone can. By helping each other, we help ourselves. Onwards...
Three weeks-plus since reading your post and acknowledging my marriage / life without sex, @Mr. Tumnus and where am I? It's a complex and long-term reply, of course. But today I re-read the passage above and - before I could wail in protest - thought, 'Yeah, I could see that...' To be continued...
It is a slow process of changing perspective. I think we should not be afraid of change, and also seek to see the good things in whatever position we find ourselves in.
Sir i want to know one thing, is there any time that out of fantasy or arousing thoughts you got erection for like 30-40 minutes. Every time you try to suppress thought it again come and as a result erection. What to do with such erections ... Like talking to a girl and she tries to talk sexual stuff and as a result the erection hard for long time. Is that a relapse. If not what to do with it