Forget it. Say whatever you like about yourself. There's no way i can prove it is a choice, so i accept your position. I will remark so in my original comment.
I've gave up P first, 24 days now, and the gave up MO, 10 days now. Porn has been the easy bit for me to stop personally. I'm currently flatlining, which for me has made it easier. Go on YouTube and watch some of the videos on the benefits of no MO, I found them really inspiring and understand the logic of the benefits they claim to have had.
I’m still abstaining from porn and mo and it’s a great struggle . I’ve had no sexual contact with other males for quite a while now and the desire is getting less . Regarding discussion on sexuality choice , in my situation I know it was definitely learned homosexuality. I was with a woman for 8 years and had never ever thought or looked at men in a sexual way until I met a guy through my mates who hung around with us and was hilarious and I enjoyed his friendship . Then he told a friend he really fancied me that shocked me but also flattered me . To cut long story short I started meeting him alone and nothing happened for ages . He was a touchy feely person so I got used to his hand touching my leg , arm etc . Then after a drunken night it went further than should have and I found myself holding another guys dick for first time . I was disgusted and all my inbred morality came out and I became aggressive and left . Well I didn’t see him for ages but missed his friendship so eventually met him . Anyway we had a few more encounters and each time I’d risk a bit more till I’d gone all the way . So as you can see I basically learned it as I wanted to be in the company of this guy
Sounds like you're not gay then... But what you've explained isnt learned behaviour just sounds like you were scared...
This is awesome advice @kropo82 ! Your insight provides a view that many of us need to hear, but don't always hear in this community. As you mentioned, it is not uncommon to only receive one-sided feedback. However, as humans, we are all different and have a variety of challenges and needs that aren't always the same. It would probably be much easier if we were created as clones because a "one size fits all" approach would be the cure all end all. Unfortunately, that is not the case and it's important for us to understand we should find what works for us. Thanks again for your share!
There is a book on this: Homosexuality and the politics of truth by jeffery satinover. I haven't looked at itin a while but I believe it talks about therapy and recovery options @Messedupguy
If it’s not your natural behaviour then it affects people differently . I felt and still do great shame that I let myself experience what I did . It has caused me so many problems and issues
Wikipedia delivers: Satinover's book, Homosexuality and the Politics of Truth (1996) debates the nature of homosexuality from psychological, religious and scientific perspectives, discussing homosexuality primarily in the context of being a condition that can or should be treated, contrary to the views of the mainstream psychiatric and psychological community. Satinover draws comparisons between homosexuality and various pathologies (e.g., alcoholism, pedophilia) and argues that homosexuality involves compulsive impulses. He states that homosexuality "is not a true illness, though it may be thought an illness in the spiritual sense of 'soul sickness,' innate to fallen human nature." He also argues that "gay activism distorts the truth and harms not only society, but homosexuals themselves". Most of the book discusses whether homosexuality is biological and genetic and if it can be changed. About one fifth of the book discusses human sexuality from Jewish and Christian perspectives. In the book's introduction, Satinover states that n the end the debate over homosexual behavior and its implications for public policy can only be decided conclusively on moral grounds, and moral grounds will ultimately mean religious grounds.
It doesn't need to though, homosexuality is an unnatural behavior, as it is extremely rare in nature and it's actually bisexuality, exclusive homosexuality (no attraction to the opposite sex) does not exist in nature. This is not about religion at all, if one believes in the theory of evolution, the only logical conclusion is that homosexuality is a disorder.
Hey, you are what you are. Have you ever felt attraction for guys? If yes, dont see that like a problem. I see no problem in masturbation. I see no problem in sex. Except if you are addicted and cant control yourself. I got free from porn and it was enough for me. I masturbate when I am horny. No sex because I dont have a partner and I think promiscuity is a bad issue. What I mean is that you are your best judge and should act according to your good conscience. But porn is out of question in any way. Be happy, man. live in peace with yourself and world around.
Yes porn is definitely out of the question . It corrupts men’s view of sexual performance and of body image and is leading to more cases of erectile dysfunction especially in young males . Usually I’d agree and say you are the best judge of yourself but not always when you’ve been corrupted etc then that leads to confusion where you do need help . As I said my experiences with homosexuality and porn including gay porn have totally screwed up my sexual performance etc The experience with a man has caused me psychological problems and even though it was a one off led me to suffer erectile issues . I now abstain from sex with others and porn to as even with a woman the vision of what I did with a man comes into my mind causing me disgust and shame . I know it’s not the fashionable correct thing but as others say I think homosexuality is a disorder and is being forced on us where once it was hidden behind closed doors
I made detailed post on masturbation here https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/masterbating-without-porn.216284/page-3#post-1958813 Mastrubation is not a problem, all the talk about it has to do with social shaming, for those that say it is not natural or intended I say go do some research and you will find that allot of animals masturbate and they do not care what humans think is natural. Mastrubation is a problem when it is excessively used to correct mood, if a person is dealing with allot of stress and has no way to resolve it or chooses not to use them, then masturbation is used as source of pleasure for the sake of getting rid of the stress, this is usually accompanied by extending the the time person masturbates, adding porn in there etc, all things that make it feel better. All signs that the goal is to exploit release of dopamine, get high and stay high for as long as possible because otherwise life feels so bad. So be honest with yourself what your intention to masturbate is, to release in pleasant experience or to get high or feel good for long time. Nothing wrong with enjoying pleasure, but the end result is to have an orgasm and avoid edging.
If it's happening, it's natural. End of story. I can't see anything immoral about being gay. It's not like theft or murder. The religious argument for why it's wrong is "it's wrong because we don't like it" but no religious person I've seen can do us the decency to admit that. So it is natural, imo it is okay, but some people still do not like that they are gay. Except if that is how you think, then you are not gay. Plain and simple. Being gay means you did the most sacred and undeniable thing a person can do: you made a choice. It doesn't have to be a conscious choice either, and it could be more like other choices allowed it to happen, much like how everything else works. I won't go into the difference between being gay and have sex with someone of the same gender, but I will point out that not all same sex attraction is purely sexual. And just because you make a choice once does not mean you have to make it daily. I include this here for OP's benefit. The OP said that he felt flattered by the man at first, and that the man over time coerced him into having sex. Sometimes what we expect out of an interaction isn't what we get. I know if I was in that situation I would have felt excited to talk to that man again, if only because I've never gotten that sort of attention before. Therecould be a million reasons why I would talk to him again or even in the first place, but not one of them has to be that I am gay. Instead it could be a combo of fear that I would lose a new friend I feel I could be close to, excitement that I get to try new experiences and see how close I can get without falling through, maybe the company is just exactly what I needed. Whatever the case, somehow I convinced myself to stay, and that lead to a sexual interaction. Now, I have dozens of conflicting feelings and a slight sexual affinity for men. Just because I have these sexual feelings doesn't mean I'm gay, either, because after that I may decide I don't want to have them. To people that say I need to just accept it, fuck off. Perhaps I need to accept and engorge EVERY sexual feeling, right? I didn't want this and I don't necessarily like the person anymore, I'm done. Is that about right, @Messedupguy? Because if so, the debate about whether or not it is wrong needs to be had in another thread. OP feels bad enough, don't he?
Surely you can notice how illogical this train of thought is. If it's happening, it's natural and if it's natural it's ok? Genetic malformations are natural, that does not make them ok, normal or "natural" in the sense that natural implies some underlying functionality. Cancer is natural by your logic cause it happens. So that's okay too? Masturbation is abnormal, sexual pleasure exists solely to motivate sexual seeking, mating and bonding behavior. By masturbating you're short circuiting something that's meant for something completely different. Your body is not some sort of pez dispenser you push for pleasure. Nothing wrong with enjoying pleasure? Tell that to a heroin user. After all, all he's doing is enjoying pleasure. Pleasure exists as REWARD, the moment you give yourself a reward for not doing anything is the moment you start destroying your body and mind.
Tell me how something as objective as cancer can be immoral. Edit: natural in this case means occuring in the universe, to put to perspective the idea that something is unnatural.
I never touched morality, just the biological and logical aspects. Then everything is natural and using natural makes no sense. Natural is about functionality, normality and progress/evolution, which is something that homosexuality isn't. It's statistically an abnormality, it varies across cultures and periods of time therefore it's not something occurring because of genes, it is non-existent in nature (very few cases of BIsexuality, no instances of exclusive homosexuality) and it has no functionality.