Masterbating without porn!!

Let me elaborate, while it is true I am on this site called "nofap" and I am currently trying my hardest to not PMO for as long as it takes. I personally see no harm in ocasionally masterbating after completing a reboot (obviously not porn). For me moderation would be, for example, once a week or bi-weekly.

 

Yes I agree with this, and I normally would fantasize about someone/something that I know I can not have in real life. Again causing a downwards mental spiral when it's all over.

 

We try to rationalize but things we do are significantly more complex, our brains depend on signaling, your mood in fact depends on balance of multiple neurotransmitters and changes constantly. Our bodies are not machines that work the same all the time, we constantly adjust our state.
When you find something interesting your mood improves, this is because your brain activity changed and chemistry was adjusted, now that you are doing something interesting like a writing an essay, you feel good about yourself. Then someone reads your essay and says it is bad, and in response your brain changes activity again and you may loose all the mood benefits you got so far, chemistry changes and you feel bad. So you begin to do pacifying behaviors, like touching your neck or seek comfort of a friend to share your frustration. Just to feel to feel ok again.
All in response to events and all part of being alive, we have these events hundreds of time per day, they all change our brain chemistry and alter our mood. You eat something and getting mood lift, you run a mile, you getting a mood lift alongside of the improvements. You see someone needs a hand and you run in to help, you are not doing it for them, you are doing it because your brain will make you feel good about yourself. Yes we are selfish like that but it works.

Your brain tries to keep you feeling normal, so it nudges you to do activities to that provide stimulation to systems that will reward you. Wanting to do something is the first step, once you engage in the action further release of rewards make you feel good and continue to do the activity.
Your brain nudges you to scratch your nose, to fix your hair, to get some coffee, give a hug, all activities that provide stimulation, feel good and improve mood, focus etc
Your state of well-being depends on you doing things that improve it - all the time. If you stop doing things, you pretty quickly feel bored a sign your mood is declining .

Sexual stimulation is no different, it is a way to quickly get improvement in mood and it is also programmed, so your desire for this activity will grow overtime.Witch in the nervous system means higher activity in some area. Same as your hunger will grow overtime, to the point where you are unable to think about anything but getting some food.
Masturbation is not an issue and is healthy, if done properly. It is a tool in our biological toolbox to improve mood along other benefits. Now, when it is abused and persons daily mood becomes heavily dependent on it, then its an issue.
Diversity is key to being healthy, diversity of different activities.

Masturbation is only evil when abused, and I think its true for all things.

 

I don't know whether masturbation is good or bad. But after masturbating I really feel low and unconfident. This does not happens bcoz I have some stigma regarding masturbation. It just feels like that , I think it is related to hormones.

 

If we got to the core, masturbation is nether good or bad, in fact nothing is good or bad. These are tags we put on things and they relevant to specific set of circumstances.

Our sexuality is not a choice, same as eating, breathing etc. Our brains are programmed to in essence force us to engage in these activities, the mechanism used to do this is mood and our well being, facilitated by reward system.
Reward system is in place to identify important of useful activities and reward doing them. When we discover something we like - the very fact that we like it means reward system is active, we are feeling good thinking about or doing the activity.
The feeling can be subtle like when eating chocolate, or engaged in your hobby of lets say woodcarving, this feeling could also be very strong like when getting quality massage, kissing, or having sex. Or it can be massive when taking drugs.

At the very code of the reward system lies a clever system, when it is engaged you enjoy the activity and at the same time you feel better after activity is over, but when engaged this system will also suppress many of the logical centers in the brain and make the person more suggestible and accepting.
My guess is that this mechanism is an override that makes us accept the activity, overriding any inhibitions, reasoning or other barriers we may have. In essence when reward system is active and releasing dopamine, we become more accepting, pliable and our logical ration and executive functions are suppressed. The more dopamine is released the more suppression happens.
From evolutionary stand point this makes perfect sense, many activities may seem stupid and crazy to logical and yet body has to take part.
Sex is perfect example for this, two people that never met before, meet and spend some time together, just an hour a go this woman would never even think about having sex with this stranger but as dopamine kicks in for both of them, sex somehow becomes acceptable and right thing to do. They both open to each other and really enjoy one of the most intimate interactions.
After sex one or more of them may deeply regret doing it, and that happens because after sex dopamine levels drop sharply especially in men, which brings up to why men feel bad after masturbation.

Main reason men feel bad is because they do not really accept or agree with masturbation, however as sexual tension builds in the body with absence of sexual stimulation, dopamine release in response to sexual thoughts, feeling and sensations becomes stronger and stronger.
Depending on the individuals brain chemistry it may take weeks or days but eventually dopamine release becomes big enough that begins to suppress executive function, logic and control. In simple terms large amounts of dopamine wipe out will power and make you suggestible and accepting. Once in that state, it feels absolutely natural to do what makes you feel even better and this is the foundation for any addition. After orgasm is reached dopamine drops sharply returning control to executive part of the brain, which never agreed with the activity and now says "oh my god, what have we done?" Silver lining with masturbation is that orgasm no matter how it came about, offsets sharp decline in dopamine with massive dose of endorphins and other chemicals that significantly improve mood and offer simple enjoyable transition from high levels of dopamine to normal levels along side many other benefits for the body.

If you start masturbation without shame and do it because you just need to release tension, and accept that honestly, you will not feel any regret. If there are parts of the activity you do not agree with you will feel bad.

Healthy masturbation should be with focus on self-satisfaction, it must be natural and enjoyable experience for you with clear goal of reaching orgasm to satisfy your body's need. It you and your body, no toys not pornography no fantasies. In the end everyone must define what is safe from them

 

Great point about how porn makes you masturbate way more than you normally would. This is what I am experiencing. By getting rid of the porn, I am not as "horny" as I thought I was. Thus, reducing the ejaculation frequency is becoming easier. So, yep, porn is the real monster here.

 

This is so absolutely true that i am amazed at how often people try to fight this fact. We do not NEED to ejaculate. Our glands don't need our help. The pancreas doesn't need me to help "empty it". Nor does my pituitary gland. So why is it that we think our prostate needs our help?

 

Makes perfect sense when put like that

 

There is only one way, to have sex with your wife. If masturbation was okay perhaps God would not have created for us women.

 

I respect your firm position on the topic, however it conflicts with basic principles of biology. In any biological system, organs undergo constant tuning and training by being used,
you need to walk to keep your bones and tendons aligned, stop doing that and they atrophy, you cant move and everything get misalignment.
You also need to move around to have normal bowel movements and circulation
your heart keeps itself stimulated but it needs stressors to stay in shape, that is why we work out - to use our heart and cardiovascular system, so it does not degrade and loose function.
Every organ in your body works daily to stay in shape and if it does not work, it degrades becomes weak and looses function.

It basic biology and is all about optimization - "use it or loose it"

Your example with pituitary gland is misplaced, we are talking about using organs not emptying them, if you had a way to stop using your pituitary gland you would be dead in a very short amount of time.

If you want a healthy and robust organ, you must use it and keep it in shape, no further discussion is needed.

Biology is biology, do not put social or religious layers on top of it.

 

Wow, that's a stretch. I am glad you keep your Cowper's Gland busy.

 

You can believe what you like, you can believe food is not really necessary and there are ways to transcend to consuming pure energy and forgo human feeding rituals, there there are people that believe this is the case, and they keep getting ready to stop eating and transcend.
I do not care what you believe, if you want to sublimate with intention of some sort of enlightenment - because "no idea why" some smart guy said it - be my guest.
However, this is a public forum, and on top of that filled with people struggling to make a change being borderline depressed, looking for answers.
If you make statements calling them facts, I will drill huge intellectual hole in your writing if it is anything less than actual fact and judging by your riveting reply you have nothing to add to this discussion.

I do not like people pushing their beliefs on to others, setting unrealistic goals and expectations and most of all setting them up to fail.
Withholding ejaculation or sublimation is an old tradition practiced since ancient times, present in many cultures and practiced by spiritual leaders, core idea is to show mastery of self control. Goal was in showing that this leader has the ability for great self control by doing something very difficult. Self control means ability to make decisions rationally and not give in to temptation for self gain, something valued in religion and clearly separated this person from regular people. It was never about needing on not needing ejaculation. Overtime practice was watered down mystified and in recent times people just completely make up stuff on the fly and feed it in to open ears.

Do some research, when was it mentioned first in literature, who made it popular in recent times, which version out of 157 different variations did you hear. Read the clinical studies. Validate

 

I don't think I ever needed porn to masturbate, sometimes I used it as a stimulant, but I am perfectly capable of masturbating and ejaculating without it. To me, porn is a bit of a turn off, because much of what's shown there is too extreme for me. Violently fucking a woman in the arse while pulling her hair or spitting on her is not my idea of sex, and this is pretty much standard for porn.

 

Yes it is, it has already been demonstrated that it can change.

Also, there is absolutely no need to ejaculate, your body literally does not work that way and you're not supposed to have sex all the time anyway. And if you don't ejaculate it's not like your organs stop working, testicles continuously produce sperm which then gets recycled if not used. As for the penis, which does require erections to stay healthy, your body takes care of it on it's own with nightime erections. Your sex organs are fully functioning all the time even if you don't do anything. There is no such thing as "use it or lose it" in this case.

Masturbation is also extremely, extremely uncommon in the wild, which also shows that it's not necessary or normal at all.

Please stop spreading misinformation and encouraging people to masturbate.

 

Bullshit as usal.

 

Here's some actual science for you

Septal stimulation for the initiation of heterosexual behavior in a homosexual male https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0005791672900298

A commentary on it here: https://mosaicscience.com/story/gay-cure-experiments/

If you want to read the full study, look it up on libgen.

 

Discussing science with you, is like trying to explain Donald Trump the concept of empathy...