Using Trans Pronouns

Okay, let's call Desdemona "Des". Then, let's use her name in place of pronouns in a random story's paragraph.

Here goes:

"I stepped forward to comfort Desdemona, but Des shook me off, angrily wiping Des' tears away as Des let the traitorous charm fall back against Des' chest. Des Des-self hadn't expected Des to react that way – Des wanted to hurt Des-self, but Des didn't think Des'd succeed so effectively. Des couldn't remember the last time Des felt tears down Des' face – Des wasn't sure if Des had ever seen Des-self cry in the mirror before. Seeing Des' anguish, I scurried away before Des could regain Des' composure and flame me for my retreat."

Quite the mouthful, is it not?

 

I'd adress them as they wanna be adressed as a sign of respect. But if they aren't respectful in the first place I wouldn't talk to the person anyways.

 

Third-person can still be used whether they're there or not. For example, if you're introducing them to others. Otherwise, you'd be over-abusing the second-person in certain cases.

 

I'll call a person whatever they desire. I believe that all humans deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. If something simple like using the language someone requests extends to them the dignity they desire I am not one to withhold it. I personally believe that we should be willing to go much farther than that with people, no matter our opinions about their choices or our beliefs that their issues are entirely self-propagated.

If someone ever asks me my opinion, I'll be honest. I agree with the sentiment that clothes, makeup, surgery, medication, haircuts, whatever will never solve the internal problems that are the root of this issue. You can get breast implants or take hormones that make you grow breasts, and in the end you'll be a man who got breast implants or took hormones to grow breasts.

However, I am also willing to accept that this is merely my opinion, based on my experience and learning, and it is not for me to judge anyone or not extend to anyone the dignity that I would afford to any other person.

 

What happens if a person doesn't stop at special pronouns? What happens if they want to dictate which adjectives you can use with them.? Would you do this if it is what that person desired? At what point do you stop and say this is nonsense?

As an aside I completely agree with Jordan Peterson on the question of respect. It is not deserved, it is earned, otherwise the word has no meaning. While you should treat everyone with civility, the level of respect you show a person must reflect an assessment of their particular worthiness in your eye.

 

Yes. And maybe uncomfortable isn’t the best word to describe how I’d feel when approached with this issue. When someone just decides that they’re the opposite gender without even going through the effort of transitioning, and then to tell us to go against our instincts of calling them the gender they really are (or still are), it’s like we’re unnecessarily kowtowing to the notion that their progressive view on nature is right and we’ve always been wrong. It’s like swallowing what we know to be true just to call Rachel Dolezal an African-American, which is just... silly.

At any rate, you captured my thoughts better than I did with the following statement:

 

To all readers: please note that I'm not trying to push my worldview, merely expressing my personal ideas. I can not explain my position on this topic without at least briefly mentioning my faith.

The idea of who deserves or doesn't deserve respect is largely based on one's worldview. Mine, which is based largely on my Christian faith, is that all people are created in God's image and therefore inherently possess a certain dignity and deserve a certain respect. Before I had this foundation, I also shared the view that respect was something entirely earned and was something I reserved for certain people.

I also see humility/ pride as a key component here. Fundamental to my worldview is the idea that humility is the greatest virtue that a human can possess. I believe that it is a prideful action to refuse something as simple as using someone's preferred pronoun. I believe that it is also, most likely, a prideful thing to go around demanding that people use certain unorthodox pronouns when you refer to them, but I'm less concerned with other people's flaws than my own.

Ultimately, verbally expressing my disapproval for someone else's life choices is most likely not going to change them in any way, and may even harden their position. I believe that the best way to go about my life is to only express my opinions about how someone else lives their life if they solicit it. And even then, I try to express my opinions as merely my ideas and recognize that others have the autonomy to make up their own minds on the topic.

I agree with the sentiments of this post.

 

I agree with that. Which is why my initial reaction was that I’d probably try to avoid the use of pronouns for as long as possible.

For me, it would feel weird going in either direction on this. I wouldn’t want to make it look like I’m trying to prove a point by calling them by their biological gender, while at the same time, it would feel just as awkward using gender specific pronouns for someone who obviously isn’t what they want you to say they are. This is a very nuanced issue, and I don’t think there is enough of an absolute to claim anyone is right or wrong on where they think the line is.

 

What happens when humility comes at the expense of truth?

That's my main problem when it comes to this issue. I'm not willing to acknowledge falsehood as if it's truth. If a man wants to live his life as a woman, that's his prerogative ... but he shouldn't expect me to change my behavior to make him more comfortable.

My other problem with it is the hypocrisy of it all. Generally speaking, this is a group of people who rages anytime someone like me (a Christian) dares to "push" my beliefs onto them. But insisting that I use a specific pronoun--how is that not pushing their beliefs onto me? Demanding that I use a particular pronoun isn't much different than if I 'demanded' they acknowledge Jesus as Lord.

 

I can't see any reason not to use whatever pronouns people prefer to go by. Common courtesy costs me nothing.
I'm not sure why is this a debated topic at all, to be honest.

 

I hold the truth in high regard - and if solicited I will not hesitate to offer it. I've generally found that people are not open to unsolicited truth from those they don't know, and it's not really my style to ram it down anyone's throat. If it was a person that I've already established a relationship with and who has a certain understanding of me and my character, then things might be different. The reality is though, that I don't actually know anybody who has ever created any fuss about the pronouns I choose to use.

As for hypocrisy - sure, it exists in just about every corner one peers into. Someone else's hypocrisy is not really my concern though, nor my responsibility to resolve. I simply concern myself with being as consistent as possible with my own worldview, which is no easy task.

I guess I would choose to see the pronoun thing kind of like a name. If someone wants me to call them a particular name I generally have no problem with it.