Withdrawal is kicking my ass

Had a bit of a flateline yesterday after about 4 days of bad anxiety and my brain wanting me to watch porn and given in!
The more you get use to it the more patterns you notice i've found, this happened over a week ago where my anxiety and withdrawal was off the scales then all of a sudden BANG! one big flateline that lasted almost a week which actually allowed me to get more sleep and worry less, then over the past 4 days it came back and yesterday and today another flatline which has calmed me down.
It seems as though you're in a fight with your body to give in for an unknown amount of time and when it gives in and you win you get a flateline as a result.

I'm still going strong anyway and NOT giving in 23 days in now, porn can go fuck itself!

 

Quick question guys, i've started watching a series called The Leftovers which is meant to be good, it's a HBO show so as you can imagine with HBO it'll have some form of nudity in it. I've really gotten into it but have seen a couple of half naked or naked scenes so far, am i damaging myself watching them do you think?
I feel as though i get a slight urge once one comes on (like an anxiety urge) but i don't want it to dictate what i can enjoy in life as well so I've carried on watching it (almost done with season 1 at the moment).

 

Well i haven't watched any porn but i have masturbated with a girl over some naughty messages and pics etc... Still haven't watched porn which is a plus but i don't know if I've let myself down by doing what i did with the girl though :/, 2 times as well, that is the most I've masturbated in a day in almost a month! Is it healthy for me to be doing that sort of thing at the moment in my situation? If not i'm going to have to put a stop to it.

 

Thanks dude, i needed to hear that and some motivation! I feel as though i'd let myself down with masturbating that many times in a day, thankfully it hasnt been to porn now for almost 30 days which is a massive plus for me! I honestly don't even know if it is healthy to stop masturbating either when you're with someone or talking to someone but i still feel shit after doing it!
I've put a stop to the explicit chat shall we say with her and keeping it at the normal conversation level now.
I'm still shocked i've made it this far without watching even the slightest bit of porn over almost the last month! There have been 1 or 2 times the last week where i've been in some chats on my phone and wanting to send some funny pictures (not porn related) and i'm scrolling through my phone to find one to send and i come across a picture i either saved or screenshot ages ago on my phone of a pornstar or scene, as i was skimming through my pictures and saw them it was weird as soon as my eyes caught a sight of them as i was looking through all my photos i almost immediately got a rush of anxiety in me and it stayed with me then for about half an hour it was crazy! You don't realise these things when you're addicted to porn and still watching it everyday but it was almost like my body was crying out for it and when i was fighting the urges my body had even for that half a second glance it was a scary thing but i managed to steer clear and didn't look for any longer than half a second as i browsed all my photos.

 

Absolutley mate, we've all been there on the emotions front but we all need each other like you helped earlier on. Absolutely nothing to feel ashamed about we're only human after all and it's important to speak about these things whatever they're.

I think the main issue with her is she's a massive massive nympho and the stuff she comes out with is like watching a frigging porno in of itself! So telling her to calm it down hasn't worked because tonight she has been doing the same thing and i'm unsure what to do with it. I'm actually meant to be going on a first date with another girl tomorrow night who i have been speaking who is a lot lot more chilled with all this, haven't had anything in the way of crazy almost porno like messages off her that fuck with your head! So i'll see how that goes tomorrow, it's only a first date so it's no big deal.

The main thing out of all of this is i'm steering clear of porn and haven't gone out to willingly watch it now for a month almost, might not seem a lot to some people on here but for me it's a big deal considering how bad it's hooked me.

 

Phew! So i've gotten mega anxiety over the last couple of days. No giving into porn though, a quick update on the different girl situations, i think i finally managed to quieten down the porno messenger so that is a relief and the other one on the first date turns out i started to really like her (and her with me to), spent 5 hours together, flew by and she invited me back up to her place! My anxiety went through the roof but i managed to get out of it since it was an early weekday and i managed to say i had work, but i can read between the lines and she pretty much is a huge nympho and wants me around for one thing and one thing only on Saturday....hhhmmm, now as you can imagine this week my anxiety has been all over the place! She's pretty active sexually to (possibly even in the week before seeing me Saturday to with different people), so i'm not sure what to do. Will my anxiety and PIED play a role, more than likely and do i want to continue to go out with a girl who i can probably guess is doing the something with other guys to? Those ones aren't the best to start getting attached to if feelings are involved down the line...

 

Well tomorrow is the day haha, do or die. If i fail big time i'm off girls for quite a while then. It's all part of the process but tomorrow night is 100% sure thing and if my anxiety and PIED give me a hard time then i'm going to swear off girls for quite a while until i know it is gone. It has been a learning process all of this. I think i'm pretty much done with porn, haven't watched it now for over a month (seen the occasional stupid image inadvertently and watched some films with naked people in) and haven't got the urge to anymore to.
My honest opinion tomorrow is i'm going to fail hard and it'' be really embarrassing but at lease i'll know then either were i'm at at now.
I'll post an update on Sunday to say how it went either way, i'm shitting it to be honest haha.

 

So, the update as promised...

Well it didn't go AS BAD as i first thought guys. That's by no means to say that it went perfectly though! I was extremely anxious about the whole thing which was on my mind initially, within the space of an hour though we where having sex, this was the first time of the evening and I was doing pretty well to start with but the anxiety got to me and within a few mins I was losing wood, so we took a break. She then proceeded to perform oral on me, which worked and i came... The second time was a few hours later, kind of the same situation where i started to have sex again but within a few mins ended up ejaculating inside her... (i think only lasted a few mins but i was still surprised to be honest and was so relieved afterwards and happy). And the finally time came a couple of hours after that again were we tried to do it again, she seemed to be more into it this time but i had the same issue almost as the first time, i started losing wood after about 3-5 mins from anxiety etc... This brought down my mood again. We then tried another position again for a few mins and the thing happened again but i managed to hide it and say i came on the side without her noticing.

So it wasn't a total disaster BUT having said that it clearly didn't go perfectly either, the main issue being me losing wood after a few mins each time due to anxiety and fear of getting a PIED during sex. I did take a V..... as well during all this time to try and help me which is did but it just makes me even more nervous down the line when the next time rolls around and say i don't take one! :/

All in all not a disaster like i thought it would be but not fantastic either, still A LOT of work to be done, I've not gone near porn now (with no desire to as well) for over a month and i 100% plan to keep it that way!

 

Hey, the last few days haven't been that bad in terms of anxiety and wanting to watch porn, infact i still have no urge to watch it at all!
However i would like to hear your opinions on where i'm currently at at the moment.
Basically since last Saturday (and even before then to be honest) I've not had any urges to watch porn but I've also not really had any urges towards girls in general to be honest! Even when looking at them in a film or in general, it's like i'm not interested at the moment and could easily carry on without them (that's scary but strangely how i feel at this stage). Now obviously i don't want that to last but in terms of where i'm at, where would you say my head it at at the moment? It feels like a flatline, but a long long one to be honest!