Withdrawal is kicking my ass

Weird one today, i ended watching a movie that in the end had a nude scene in it with a really attractive girl but nothing much happened downstairs even though i knew she looked attractive!
Then tonight i'm under massive pressure to go out again like last week, i almost...almost caved and went but i think i've managed to fight it and stay in. I just feel like it would've been another night of looking at attractive girls but not being able to do anything and knowing that something might not be working as well even if i did get lucky downstairs as well! :/
So shit! Porn is the fucking devil i swear haha

 

What a strange couple of days, i need some help and advice to be honest. So i haven't watched any porn i'd like to heavily stress that but what did happen was i did end up going out Saturday night but wasn't anywhere near as bad anxiety wise as i was last week but yesterday i ended up going to a girls house that I've known for a few months now and we did "things" lets just say, my main issue was just wondering if i'd obviously be able to get an erection and sustain it, for added insurance i took a "blue pill" and over the course of a couple of hours i had multiple solid erections but when the point came to "go all the way" i could feel it decreasing basically, i think it's more down to being anxious at the fact that i'm wondering if it'll go soft mid-sex. Although i did climax with a full solid erection which was pleasing (more so because i was able to do it with a full sized erection to be honest!). It's just a friends thing anyway so it's nothing serious or something that'll be planned again down the line but i was wondering if anyone had any comments or relateable situations or possibly a diagnosis on my progress so far based off those actions and circumstances yesterday?

Thanks guys, i think i'm definitely getting the better of porn now to be honest even though it has only been 13 days but i don't really have any urges to watch it to be honest but my main concern was should i have gone around there now knowing I've obviously seen a girl naked during this recovery from PIED have i damaged myself because of it or is it a different situation to just sitting there and clicking away mindlessly on porn?

 

Yeah i'm really glad i was able to O without P tbh and in the presence of another girl to with an erection even if it was with the help of a blue pill :/ because i've had it in the past where even they don't help.
But i still don't feel the need to want to watch porn and a lot of the withdrawals are brought on by myself which is annoying and yet i still do it. I wasn't sure if seeing a real pair of boobs and all the rest has broken the streak the same as watching P would have done

 

Around 15 days now with absolutely no urge to watch porn, still have the anxiety though and fear of things like PIED when with girls in the future and if i'll only ever be able to get a full erection with the magic blue pill :/
I know it's still early days but i'm still shocked at how dismissive I've become for porn over the last 2 weeks. The first week was absolute hell, couldn't sleep and non stop severe anxiety where i thought my chest was going to explode and i thought it was never ending along with severe depression and a feeling of being worthless and having thrown my life away to porn.
I know i'm by no means out of the woods yet as I've been on longer streaks in the past of just over 30+ days twice but that was with looking at substitute material for porn (heavily nude films, social media etc) and having a huge urge over those 30 days to switch it back on, this time i have absolutely zero urge to watch it and i hope it stays that way!

 

Day 15 with still no urge to watch any P and i'm sleeping a lot better now as well, i'm still waking up every so often but the difference is that i'm falling back asleep now with no P images or thoughts popping into my head keeping me up.

I don't want to say it to early but i feel as though I've told my body to go and f*** itself when i was at my lowest for just over a week in the first week and these are the results now.
I think i have a mild flatline to which i'm not to fussed about as well considering what was at the other end of the scale a week ago.

I'm just going to keep going day by day and try not to think to much about the number of days i've done because the ultimate goal i guess in the end is not never watch it again so the number of days should technically be "the rest of my life" shouldn't they haha.

 

I know i need to stay aware and vigilant but at the moment i'm feeling really good about my attitude towards not even remotely being interested in watching porn which I've not ever experienced before to be honest!

Thanks for the link as well dude, it was a very interesting listen

 

Onto day 16 now with still thankfully no urge to watch porn which i feel absolutely amazing about, for possibly the first time in my life I've not felt the urge or been interested in watching it and it's shocking me everyday considering I've lived off the load of s*** for years now!
I'm clocking in more sleep this week to, i'm still waking up every so often but i'm able to go back to sleep now within a minute or two, I've gotten in between 8-10 hours of sleep most days this week which i'm absolutely thrilled by as well! I'm still getting a bit anxious if i see an attractive girl etc... but i'm hoping it'll change over time more so that.
I'm taking each day as it comes but at the moment the feeling of not wanting porn anymore is shocking me i'm almost smiling to myself about it haha

 

Wow was i being overconfident today haha, i was fine for half the day and for the other half my anxiety came back pretty bad from out of nowhere. I hope it's not here to stay!

 

Day 17 and the anxiety from yesterday has calmed down a bit but it's still lingering in the background i can feel it. Yesterday shocked me at how quickly and out of nowhere it came from so that has taught me to keep my guard up a bit more in the future. Still no urge to watch porn but the anxiety is still there.

 

Well it's safe to say i underestimated my recovery, the last day and a half has been terrible in terms of anxiety. It's brought on even more when i see an attractive girl. It is not so much in relation to wanting to watch porn but just seeing girls in general and getting ideas from that it snowballs. I still don't have an urge to watch any porn but the withdrawal over the past day and a half was almost as bad as the first week. As i write this now it has eased off slightly but i'm afraid it'll return again soon down the line!

It is as if my body/brain knows that i'm telling it no and isn't use to it.

 

I think i've started a heavy flatline from the looks of it. I'm seeing random attractive women either on the street or in a movie and the anxiety creeps around but with no movement at all downstairs and it feels like it has shrivelled up and gone away the last couple of days. This was all after one mighty push my brain was trying to give me yesterday and the day before to cave in and either watch porn or look at something, i didn't and this looks like it's the result now.

 

Well it's official, my anxiety is back now and it has been pretty bad now for the last few days with no signs of letting up. I'm having more porn dreams and waking up with stuff popping my head and not being able to get back to sleep as well.
I also had a video posted in one of my Whatsapp chats today that was of the porn variety which i caught some glimpse of before stopping it and deleting it, i didn't know what it was though until played it sadly.

Do you guys ever get those moments when your brain just starts to feed you old porn videos that you use to watch quite often in order to try and get you to masturbate? It's happening to me very often now and there is nothing i can do to stop it sadly!