Wife Filed for Divorce

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by AllanTheCowboy, Jul 22, 2018.

  1. AllanTheCowboy

    AllanTheCowboy Fapstronaut

    I got the papers about a week ago. I haven't responded yet. I'm taking some time off work. I'm a mess but I'm managing.

    There's nothing I can do but what I've been doing. Pray, hope, live, and try to be ready for a miracle if it happens. Maybe that's what I have to do for the rest of my life; that would suck, but if that's the deal then that's the deal.
  2. Max Fisher

    Max Fisher Fapstronaut

    I sorry to read what you are going through. I hope you can get peace and wish you the best possible outcome.
  3. hope4healing

    hope4healing Fapstronaut

    I'm really sorry, Allan. I know you've been waiting and hoping for so long for a different outcome. Although this is difficult to accept, don't let yourself lose sight of how far you've come and all the progress you've made in recovery as well as in personal growth. You are a great example for others, and that's something for which you should be proud.

    I know right now you're hurting, but I hope some day you'll find happiness again.
    EyesWideOpen likes this.
  4. AllanTheCowboy

    AllanTheCowboy Fapstronaut

    This isn't an outcome. It's a civic technicality.
    BetrayedMermaid likes this.
  5. AllanTheCowboy

    AllanTheCowboy Fapstronaut

    You're doing that man thing of assuming the correct response to my pain is to try to fix it.
    kropo82, BetrayedMermaid and Joe1023 like this.
  6. Queen_Of_Hearts_13

    Queen_Of_Hearts_13 Fapstronaut

    I am sorry, I know you've been waiting a long time and have done many things to give her a welcoming home if she were to return. I hope you take care of yourself during this painful time. All of us on NoFap are here if you need support.
  7. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

  8. determined488

    determined488 Fapstronaut

    Damn bro this is hurtful to hear, I'm still a virgin and I felt this. I pray something good comes your way man, I haven't read your story but it is what it is, stay strong for you and know that I'm here if you ever need to message someone about how you feel. Let it all out man, and move on day by day. You got this.
  9. TheMightyQuinn

    TheMightyQuinn Fapstronaut

    Hey man, never met you before but just want to say sorry to hear and I hope you trust you will be ok no matter what happens. I'm glad you're taking some time to feel your feelings. Make sure to take some time for your own self care. Keep working your recovery for you.

    Peace to you,
    Trappist and Jennica like this.
  10. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

    I'm so sorry to hear this, @AllanTheCowboy . I know you were working hard and hoping for reconciliation. I pray you continue on your sobriety journey as things move forward.
  11. AllanTheCowboy

    AllanTheCowboy Fapstronaut

    Still am. Temporal administrative technicalities don't change metaphysical realities. Divorce remains theologically impossible in a valid, consummated, sacramental marriage.
  12. i_wanna_get_better1

    i_wanna_get_better1 Fapstronaut


    I am so sorry to hear of this news. I know you've been holding out hope of a reconciliation for a long time. You have made tremendous changes. All you were waiting for was a chance to show your wife the new and improved version of yourself. There are no words that can take away the pain you must be feeling. Cliche sayings doesn't make this any easier. If I could give you a warm hug and sit with you for a while then I would do that for you. Never forget that you are worthy of love, forgiveness, and companionship. You are not alone. Stay strong my friend.
    kropo82, Kenzi, Jennica and 3 others like this.
  13. suntannedsailor

    suntannedsailor Fapstronaut

    Hi Allan, I’ve been thru this twice and it’s damn hard every time. But I also know that a divorce is not an ultimate tragedy. I do not know your story but reading other comments, it sounds you have done many changes for her and to keep her. There may be the root of the problem. You love her but you do not love and value yourself enough thus become unattractive and exhausted by fulfilling someone elses needs first. Been there myself. Recommend starting with David Deida books. May the force be with you!
  14. Perfectly_Imperfect

    Perfectly_Imperfect New Fapstronaut

    I'm sorry you are going through this Allan. My wife hasn't filed yet but she is talking about divorce as a serious plan for the first time. I can see in her eyes that she has lost all respect and romantic love for me. We just had our first child recently so in addition to losing the love of my life (we've been together for 15 years) I stand to lose my only son. I'm terrified. My daily reflection book had a reading today about going beyond the limits of our former lives and accepting the possibility of the unknown. "When we decide to be less controlling, we begin to believe in possibilities we didn't allow before." I hope things work out for you, but if not, I hope you can find the courage to step into the unknown, the absurd, and experience the awakening of your spirit.
  15. BetrayedMermaid

    BetrayedMermaid Fapstronaut

    I'm sorry to hear of porn ruining another marriage. Keep fighting your demon. Don't give in to the sadness. Don't let it take your next relationship down, if it's with your wife or someone else.
    TryingHard2Change and Jennica like this.

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