WHY YOU RELAPSED?

The older I get the more I seem to struggle with sleeping. I honestly think part of it is the fact that most of us don’t have to do physical labor anymore so we are more restless at night because we haven’t work physically as hard as we once had to.

so I guess that’s a long way of saying exercising more should help

 

read any boring book which literally have the power to make sleep a better choice than reading it. complete at least one page of it before going on bed for sleep. This is 100% proven technique

 

keep bro

 

One, I use porn to escape unpleasant feelings. Knowing this, I'm not watching porn and I'm working on fixing the things that make me feel unpleasant.

Two, I like a fetish that is a category in porn. It's a fetish that can't be practiced without the willing cooperation of a partner. So my only access to my obsessive fetish is when I view porn. I'm trying to fix this by having more intimacy with my wife and this should help me reintroduce the fetish back into our sex life. We both loved the same fetish, but as she aged she became less interested in the fetish and prefers boring vanilla sex. I think as we become more intimate she will want to play in bed again.

 

Your husband is one lucky man, not only do you help him, you dont call him a disgusting creep. very rare indeed.

 

Well, he’s not a creep, he’s a pretty amazing man. That being said, notice wake up wife is a last resort!. I’m never really thrilled to hear that he’s struggling not to look at other women and jack off to them. However, I’ve had years of practice detaching from him, so I’m pretty good at talking it through rationally and looking at what’s going on with him to pinpoint why he’s struggling. Because most addicts are at not self aware, it takes time for them to learn. I am much better at being able to identify why he’s feeling a certain way than he is. He has come a long way though. Night a day difference from when he first started recovery work. I think it’s hard for any partner of an addict though, the pain of what they do is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. Hands down. I wish more men understood this. I was planning on divorcing once our youngest graduated. Like literally planned for 17 years. Him getting into recovery changed everything. Everything. He’s a completely different man, not a man-child anymore.

 

Great stuff here. Thanks for sharing.

 

estrés
sentirse inferior a los demás
enojo
tristeza
insomnio
soledad
rechazo
recuerdos del pasado

 

“What we are after when we go into any compulsive behavior is more life.”

“I first got into this addiction to such euphoric emotion in order to avoid emotions of a negative kind.”

“Lust is a manifestation of disharmony that seeks harmony.”

To not keep on endlessly ‘relapsing,’ the sexual energy must be given a new outlet. In other words, it must be transmuted from expressing itself as selfish lust, avoidance etc to an expression of selfless love. The same applies to all negative emotions.
The sexual energy will express itself. We have no choice in this matter. The choice we have is how.

 

For me it was because something triggered me and I ended up searching nsfw content, lying to myself saying I'm just gonna "watch it" but it goes far from that.
This often happens at night when I feel unattractive, bored or anxious and I know I won't go out to meet people the next day.
What helped me this days was not using my phone before sleeping, I still have fantasies but at least that isn't enough to make me relapse. I also "talk and negotiate" with the lusty part of me.
Watching my streak also helps me to motivate me.

 

Real change is gradual. It requires patience, persistence and faith.

 

I was laying in bed fantasizing and it happened (I mean without touching.) For me, certain thoughts are relapses.

 

Have you really tried everything? The best way to stop is change everything that you normally do. You need to spend the time that you look at porn doing something else. Go to the gym, go for a hike/walk, meet up with your friends, find a hobby, meet women and take them on a fun date, the list goes on forever.
To sum it up, replace the porn habit with good habits.