Why is nobody talking about Kindling?

What are you talking about?
.

 

This is my experience also.

 

So does kindling make it impossible to recover, ever?

 

No, it just makes it more and more difficult, and requires more and more conscious effort.

 

This isn't necessarily true for everybody. I have not experienced this.

However it is true that the longer you don't get a handle on your addiction, and the more you relapse...the harder it will become to believe you can quit for good.

 

I would agree that it does seem like the addiction can sink it's teeth in deeper each time you relapse, however I'm not sure if that's physiological or psychological.

I see it analogous to climbing a mountain. Perhaps the first time you're spurred on by the novelty of the accomplishment as you ascend, but by the 10th time you're starting at the bottom again, it's different. You can see your footsteps, you know you've got this far before, but equally you know you've wasted time just trudging up the bottom slopes of the mountain, never reaching the top.

 

We can't recover because for a porn addict , relapse is the most beautiful thing in his life, which he like to do more and more. There is no anything in his life as powerful as porn & relapses . So if he find a solution to that, there is hope.

 

What do you expect? I have been addicted for almost 12 years and I have few attempts to quit? Is this joke to you? Hahah

Of course it's better to quit sooner, but it depends of how your brain is deeply wired.
I don't say it's impossible.
People today beat cancers with their thoughts and mindset, but we're not all the same.

But if you fight with this addiction for years and now you read that you missed your chances you won't accomplish anything.

Don't count the days never. Just change lifestyle. Be different person

 

It's not that there are a limited number of tries, it's more that relapsing after recovery can potentially harm you more than had you never recovered in the first place. This unfortunately tallies with my experience. My first real reboot attempt was two years ago, after 30 days I was getting strong morning wood and after 55 days my libido came back. This doesn't mean that I had recovered but clearly these were positive signs that I was healing. Soon after that though I relapsed, binged for a week and then spent the next two years on streaks of between 5 days and 5 weeks, I never saw any improvement in that time and in fact every relapse just made my health deteriorate further and further. I now felt much worse relapsing once a month than I did before I even started Nofap. I'm now 50 days in and have had zero morning wood(apart from day 3, which must've just been some kind of weird rebound effect) and obviously zero libido. I can feel that this reboot is going to take a lot longer than the first one and that is because of what has been described in the OP.

 

I personally haven't experienced this. Been addicted for almost 10 years, found nofap in 2020 and did my first 90+ days. It's been easier to stop after that streak, he pmo thoughts are non-existent. And going 5-6 months clean I could barely remember the p star scenes. So for me, it's been getting better to deal with pmo really.

I think most people who stay in the addiction don't make much change or improvement in their lives and just focus on stopping pmo, and constantly have that on their minds. And at the end of the day you put yourself in stressful situations you will relapse. Most people are messing up jobs, no relationships, no social circles etc which is not healthy in the first place, and definitely a cause for stress/ depression/ anxiety that will make pmo recurrent. Most successful people make changes, rebuild relationships, regain their ambition for careers etc and soon enough you don't even have time for pmo.

 

Exactly! Can you share how you managed to stay clean for 90+days? That would be beneficial for the community.

 

Here's a comment from a different post. I do not have a recipe for success, but this is just what worked for me.

I got PIED completely healed after 90 day hard mode. Was using p and pills for almost 8 years prior to that, then discovered nofap when I had lost my girl, was failing uni, was broke off buying pills, depressed etc.

I think when you do nofap make sure you DO NOT:
1.) Watch p or even look at clothed women with the intention of some sexual attraction.
2.) Really work to stop your sexual thoughts and fantasizing
3.) Don't touch yourself.
4.) Fix your life i.e. career, academics, friends, relationship with women, goals etc. If your life is a mess chances are you'll relapse even when you go 100+ days.

Most times I failed I was usually doing something wrong and justifying it (also healing pied, some side effects etc can be delayed by low quality nofap - peeking etc.). It was important for me to be honest with myself. Regardless of how we justify things, we know that a healthy person is not randomly searching or fantasizing over pictures of women, or trying to touch themselves.

 

Definitive truth.

 

That's my experience as well

 

Is this true? If so I believe I am experiencing the beginning of kindling! I made it 6 months for the first time (this year) then relapsed extremely hardly. Seems like the “porn” in my brain is much more intense than before even though I haven’t experienced heavy porn escalation. This is suddenly motivating me to not relapse out of fear I will never make it back to 6 months!!!

 

First time I am learning about kindling. This is all very scary.

 

I disagree, for me every successive recovery has been easier and more long lasting. For the first few years I could barely make it past 60 days.

 

Buddy, I don't quite understand how you can disagree with someone's experience. It's their experience. You have a different experience. But it doesn't make the other person's experience invalid.

Cheers, bud.