Why are you addicted?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by LumberSpartan, Apr 27, 2017.

  1. I'm curious as to what the root of all of your problems are. I'm posting this topic for discussion, as well as to help newer members find their own problem.

    Personally, I have a few different reasons for my addiction. One of which being insecurity. As a kid, I was a social recluse and incredibly timid. Pornography helped me cope with that and with the bad things that happened to me.

    Another reason why is because pornography was a release and a taboo thrill for me. The high you get from the risk of getting caught doing something you aren't supposed to do is a thing I struggled with for years, even when I didn't know it was bad. A manifestation of this is when I was younger, I loved trespass hiking. Trespass hiking is exactly what it sounds like, hiking on private property. The thrill of the possibility of getting caught or chased made it even better to me. I also enjoyed trespass fishing, particularly at night. I know now that these behaviors are in reality extremely dangerous to my health and life, as well as being morally wrong and criminal, so I abstain.

    There are literally endless triggers as to why you can struggle with pornography. Let's share our triggers and causes simply for conversation, but also to help people that don't know their triggers and the reasons that hide behind their addiction.
  2. Agoodguy

    Agoodguy Fapstronaut

    I was addicted because of trying to deal with past pain, it was compulsive due to OCD and also because of lust.
  3. Maddey

    Maddey Fapstronaut

    This will definitely help to understand addiction in general

    nomo and Agoodguy like this.
  4. MSTie

    MSTie Fapstronaut

    I didn't quite discover but rather stumbled upon the idea of masturbation and then later pornography. It was that classic case of putting my paw on my pecker and realising: "Wow, this feels good… Wow!" I still remember the surge of adrenaline I experienced when I first discovered porn. It was, in its own way, exhilarating.

    Other contributing factors led to me becoming much more reclusive, which only made matters worse. I've struggled with bowel and digestive problems pretty much my whole life. There's still a big question mark as to what I'm suffering from. I isolated myself from others due out of embarrassment (and faecal urgency). Soon what become a way of getting a little buzz became necessary to feel anything at all. Regular masturbation habits turned to edging and sometimes death grip. More extreme fetishes. And all of a sudden -- BANG! -- I'm addicted.

    I've definitely fried my brain to some extent. The only time when I don't feel like crap is whilst edging, but I've had enough of that lonely, pitiful life. Now's the time to heal. For all of us.
    AscendRestore likes this.
  5. Seeeker

    Seeeker Fapstronaut

    Well in the beginning I was irresistibly curious because porn is close to sex, and sex is something w're all curious about, and internet porn removed any barrier to accessing it easily. It's like smoking crack without all the immediate consequences. Now though, I'm more addicted to it because porn is a simulated fantasy that removes all the problematic human issues of awkward intimacy, courting a partner, the possible insecurity of satisfying them, the after sex small talk and awkward goodbyes (unless you're in a relationship). It's just easier than dealing wth people.
    meh1617 likes this.
  6. Latinboy32

    Latinboy32 Guest

    I guess I wanted an easy way out of everything in my life. As a kid I was socially awkward and girls didn't like me because of my weight and obvious signs of insecurity. It was easier to just get rid of this urge to be with someone by just masturbating, fantasizing for a moment that I am with someone I like or someone who I thought was out of my league. When I stopped seeking an easy way out of things it's where I realized I needed a change in my lifestyle, hence every choice I've made led me to nofap, but it obviously started with me always wanting an easy way out.
  7. Bearish

    Bearish Fapstronaut

    As one who's always struggled with DE, I was attracted to scenes in which guys had no trouble reaching O, trying to link my arousal to theirs. p has mostly been an M aid.
  8. QCA

    QCA Fapstronaut

    When I was a young teenager we got cinemax and I said "whoa boobs."

    Here I am 35 and honestly not too much has changed.
    MSTie likes this.
  9. BeautyForAshes

    BeautyForAshes Fapstronaut

    I'm a typical case. Past trauma (social mostly). Social isolation, dogmatic, over-intelligent etc. and also a physical deformity. I never went to porn as a coping mechanisms' but as a...thing I thought was normal. I mean, my dad even had a porn cache.

    I started doing extreme workouts self-improving things in general. But after my surgury, no gloating, women and girls alike swore I was one of the most attractive people they ever seen. They same people who snubbed me now want to include me in every social circle. I began to see all people as opportunists. So, the only candidate for loving for me was myself/porn actors. I eventually grew out of this mindset and started to indulge in people again.
  10. LavaMe

    LavaMe Fapstronaut

    There are several reasons. I had a very bad home environment due to parents fighting and later divorce. I was especially insecure, felt unloved, didn't feel confident with women, and anxious. I was also exposed to pornography at a young age. It was very exciting to me.

    I think I used fantasy, pornography and masturbation as a relief. It allowed me to feel good about myself by imagining myself to be the 'stud' in the images. It allowed me to escape. It also allowed me to be self sufficient. Coming from an environment where I felt unloved and without support it was natural to not want to rely on anyone else even for a close relationship or sex. A close relationship meant opening myself up and exposing myself. To protect myself as a kid I had learned to put up walls.

    I also think the taboo aspect was big for me. This led me to needing new and more strange porn to get excited. I think there was an aspect of self degradation. My initial porn use coincided with shoplifting, drugs, and in general an abandonment of morality, as I knew it. I reached a low point in my mid teens and just gave up on being good. One of the hardest things for me now is forgiving myself for my past. I hold on to what I've done and this shame drives me to keep wanting to use porn.
    LumberSpartan likes this.
  11. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

    I cannot get intimate with women in real life so I seek it in porn. I am so pathetic!
  12. LavaMe

    LavaMe Fapstronaut

    Be kind to yourself! Negative thinking will only drive you further towards porn. You may well have intimacy difficulties but that doesn't make you pathetic. It just means you need help and to work on things.

    By the way even if you never were or could be intimate with a woman that doesn't make you pathetic at all.
  13. Newman2day

    Newman2day Fapstronaut

    Man, this is lacking in so many ways.I get what he's saying.But obviously his views are very Worldly an shallow.It goes quite further than what he's explaining.And when you die your just gone? Yea you best be absolutely sure about that one.Glad this Guys not my shrink.
    TigerJin and Ghost79 like this.
  14. Sanc-Hos

    Sanc-Hos Fapstronaut

    I discovered that, in my particular case, there are many reason that kept me in immoral slavery. But one of the basis of my addiction is related to selfishness. Every time thinking in myself, my needs, my pleasures, what I like and what I dislike; my time, my spaces, my body. How wrong I was!

    Then, part of my reboot strategy is to change my selfish mind investing in others lives.
  15. Newman2day

    Newman2day Fapstronaut

    Investing in others lives.I have heard time after time how beneficial that is to the person giving the time to others.That is a very wise decision.I myself have thought and searched to see if there is anything lacking in my life or that I have been trying to use porn and beating off to supplement something missing.As of now I honestly just like thinking about and seeing hot naked women.I had a wonderful childhood.Ill still search.And I'm sure there are issues with some people that run deep as to why the pmo.But I believe there are some cases in which guys just really really like to look at hot naked women.Sex is one of our strongest urges.Hey,it's why all of us are here! Men and Women Love to have sex.Its just the truth.Anyway,just sayin.
    Sanc-Hos likes this.
  16. Newman2day

    Newman2day Fapstronaut

    Be careful how you speak to yourself,cause you are listening.Trust me when I say,you haven't done anything someone hasn't done before.Sure some people have a harder time with that kind of thing than others.Doesn't mean your pathetic. Just your way of coping.As others do I'm sure.Of two long time friends I have.One is about as smooth with girls as sandpaper pillow.My other buddy picks up girls as easy as breathing.Dont know guess it's just the way they're wired.But it's just one of those things.But at least you've acknowledged your issue.Now see what you can do in time to fix it.
    LavaMe and TigerJin like this.
  17. Newman2day

    Newman2day Fapstronaut

    There are a number of things.I too thought the same thing you did.Only after years and years of pmoing did the effects of social anxiety,Emotional numbness start to slowly but surely invade my inner self.It sounds crazy,and people may be skeptical of the negative effects it undoubtedly has. But just read some of the stories of men and women, but mostly men who have become addicted to porn and masturbating have had come into their lives.And then the ones who got free from it and how much better their life has become in leaving that way of life.Porn will damage your soul and your mind and your overall perception of life.
    Agoodguy likes this.
  18. I first turned to PMO as a coping mechanism at the age of 12. I used PMO as a way of instant gratification, which was numbing towards negative emotions, traumatic experiences, and so on -- but it also numbed positive emotions. It was a way of using time, and I felt as if I had time to burn.

    PMO cost me a lot of potential relationships, friendships, didn't help my mental illness, and prevented me from doing several things in my life. It only made life worse.

    So the excuses and reasons why I am addicted: Lack of common-sense (at the age of 12), a continuous cycle of trying to cope with life and avoiding emotions.

    The good news is, I came to an abrupt realization that Porn was doing me harm, and I have been changing the lifestyle which has caused me to fall to its enticing yet ineffective way of coping.
    LumberSpartan likes this.
  19. TigerJin

    TigerJin Fapstronaut

    It's really hard to say if I am "addicted" or not. I'm not like those guys on the street who ask every passer buy for a cigarette. More, it's a habit. Alone: Porn. Angry: Porn. Otherwise, the urge is not there.

    For me, porn is usually more about just satisfying a fantasy or curiosity or just plain fun. Usually, I just want to see X type of girl doing X type of thing.

    For me the two dangers are that it leads to M, which I don't want anymore for all the reasons we know, and Two: that I have been doing P more often, which I have noticed has been invading my thoughts too much.
  20. Latinboy32

    Latinboy32 Guest

    When I started my nofap journey I didn't even know nofap existed. I didn't even assume I was addicted to porn, I was thinking however that I was addicted to masturbation. It wasn't until I hit day 3 without PMO that I had this incredible urge to not just masturbate but to watch porn too. And the difficulties I went along the way made me admit I was addicted.

    It's different for everyone, but addiction is when you use something that stimulates you and helps you feel good. My addiction was just too advanced it warped my reality and affected my life entirely. I think anyone can fall this deep into porn if the time is given, to quit it early before it becomes such a problem, or to never get into it is even better.

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