What would women like to know more about men? What would men like to know more about women?

Great thread, I hope it gets a lot of traffic.

As a man I would like to know, where is the line when giving a woman a compliment? Let's say I'm a single man and I see a gorgeous women with a nice body, in a sundress, by herself in the parking lot of a grocery store. Which if any of these statements will make her feel good, which will get me slapped or worse, and which could go either way or somewhere in between? Also does how I say it and my body language make any difference?

1 - "That's a really nice dress."

2 - "You look amazing in that dress."

3 - "You have an incredible body."

4 - "I can tell you work out. What's your routine?"

5 - "It's nice to see a pretty woman in a dress like that."

Let's take out variables that would obviously make it awkward, for example, the man saying it is acting in a clearly leering/creepy way and/or is obviously not single i.e. with his SO, wearing a wedding ring, whatever.

To me:

1 - Safe but bland. She could hear the same thing from her best friend or her mother. She'll probably appreciate it but it won't spark any attraction.

2 - The approach I'd be most inclined to take. Lets her know you're clearly into how she looks but doesn't get into specifics.

3 - Certainly the most direct compliment but in this day and age there's probably one woman out of 100 who wouldn't have a serious negative reaction to it.

4 - A little different take on #2... subtle reference to her great body but not as blatant as #3.

5 - Seems a little condescending but might work if she's a more traditional type. She at least knows you notice and appreciate her femininity.

 

Actually my first thought would be what makes any given woman different from all other women, so it's sort of the opposite.

Or how about what said woman would like men to know about her? Not sure how well it generalizes but individuals perspective are richer.

 

Most woman don't even know why are they attracted to a man. If you ask a woman they will answer like the society (movies, series, family, etc) told her what should turn them on. Is going to be like..." a man that blow up her phone, show her that he really really like her, works hard to gain her love, give her flowers and gifts and take her out. Basically proof his love to her and do all the work to get her hart. But after that if you ask her the kind of guys that turn her on in the past are nothing like that, they are going to be like, "the tipicall bad boy, the one that don't liked her and she needed to work to gain his love, a guy focused on his life so much that she needed to go after him to have a relationship". Asking a girl "what turn her on" is going to be really misleading.

When you don't know a woman, is better for you to don't compliment to much, it could be a sigh of only caring about her body and not who she is. Just give her one compliment that comes right out of you hart, just tell her what you really think about her without been disrespectfull. Always tell her this with a smile on you face, and full of confidence. Looking at her body language towards you before the compliment can save you and akward situation. A girl that is not attracted to you at all is going to find it a little akward, no matter if you do it with all your good intentions, but if the girl have positive bodylanguage towards you can take the risk to give a complimitment and she is probably going to like it.

Woman wants to know that you care about them as a person besides her looks. They don't want to be just a piece of meat in your life. So ask her about her to know her better and remember what she responds. She is going to be happy that you took your time to know her.

 

It depends on the woman. It depends on the time. It depends on the place. Personally, I like compliments #1+2. All the others would make me feel weird. However, any man too close and complimenting me in a dark parking lot while I’m alone is going to freak me out. Yes, that has happened. Never walk up to her, if you aren’t already close enough in passing to just say something, approaching her will make her uneasy ( or it would me). Men have no idea how often women get sexually harassed. It’s different approaching women in a bar, club, social function as opposed to out at the park alone or grocery store. So much depends on the woman though, her life experiences etc. I don’t think there is a one size fits all.

 

My favorite compliment is “ you have beautiful eyes or smile “. I work out hard so that my body looks nice especially at my age, but I do that for me, not to sexually excite or entice a man, lol. So, I would never like a direct compliment about my body, but the #2 compliment is as close as I’d be ok with? If that makes sense. I’m not sure about selecting a mate. I was not physically or sexually attracted to my husband at all. He is not my physical type. I’m weird, I like short stocky men and my husband is tall and lanky. However, at 19 my husband was very kind. He was thoughtful to me. Honestly, he went out of his way to be exceptionally nice, bought me very thoughtful gifts, not expensive, just thoughtful. He called me all the time. Was very respectful of my boundaries, ie no sex until we marry and I’m not fooling around. Kissing only. That was huge for me and most guys pushed for a physical relationship. I had a lot of very short relationships because of that one boundary. It’s fine if you want that, but if the woman says she doesn’t then don’t push, move on to someone with the same values. Just because a women has that boundary does not mean she won’t like sex either. I’ve got a way higher libido than my husband. I thought when we got married I could have sex multiple times a day!! That was a rude awakening. On the flip side, just because you have a lot of sex in the beginning doesn’t mean it will continue that way into marriage either.

 

That's a good point about the dark parking lot. In my initial post I was envisioning it in daylight. I would never approach an isolated woman in the dark, unless she appeared to be in need of some help. (My brother met his wife that way.) In that case I'd be focusing on what she needed rather than giving her a compliment, and would be sure she knew I was there well before I got too close and that she was receptive to being helped.

 

So far, not many women have replied to this thread... xD it's just dudes guesstimating stuff.

 

You have to remember, there are not many women who are active on the site at all. Only a few of us reply/comment on the men’s journals. Most of the women stay on their own threads or other women’s threads. I’m not sure why this is.

 

Amazing! Surprised to hear there are women with higher sex drives than men, that's a real shocker to me!

 

Here's another one. When a guy approaches a woman and she says right away she has a boyfriend, does that always categorically mean "back off"? Or is she sometimes just testing him to see if he's persistent? I'm of an older generation and back in the day women would sometimes play head games like this but today it seems like they're doing it on a whole new level.

Full disclosure, I'm married 21 yrs so the point has long been moot for me. But I have younger guys asking me for advice and I don't know what to tell them. The dating game appears to be much more ruthless, manipulative and full of head games today than when I was in it. I feel sorry for young single guys out there today... from what I hear it's pretty brutal.

 

Lol! I’ve never done that. But I’m brutally honest, upfront, and confrontation doesn’t bother me. Now, I have two daughters, one will constantly do that to guys who hit on her. She doesn’t want to hurt their feelings, she hates confrontation, and too many times in the past guys won’t take no for an answer, so it comes down to just easier for her. The other daughter will not lie! So she just flat out says no, then avoids them as much as possible. So, for my girls it means not interested at all! My nieces are the same, if they say no, they mean no, not try harder. I don’t know of any women who say that and are “ testing”. I’d say most of us mean no, not interested. But then again, ever person is different.

 

As a young man, I would like to how to determine whether a woman likes something or not.
Mostly referring to behaviours, compliments, etc. To me, it's never been obvious how to decypher a reaction to something like that.

 

You ask. It really is that simple. Do you like it when I ......
would you like to.....
What do you think about....
years ago I had a guy ask me on a second date, I told him no. He asked me why. So I told him. Lol. we had had a great date. The problem was, he absolutely did not believe in God and I do. If he hadn’t asked me why I didn’t want a second date, he would’ve filled in the blanks with all sorts of wrong thinking. He had the guts to ask me why and I told him. He was not happy with the answer, but at least he knew the truth..