What happened to make you realize you needed help?

Nope

What's with all the political references? Look there is a law, and if people play within that law age bracket they are not branded as paedophiles, if they don't then they get what they deserve - that's why there is a law and it is not for you to decide. Frankly, I think you ARE the liberal, who says it's up to the mother to decide who their daughters date until they're over 25! LOL seriously?

And quite frankly whether you like to admit it or not the majority of you including myself have whacked of to teen themed porn, because the evidence suggests it is the most prolific. Those girls weren't pre-teen most are probably over twenty. Is this morally wrong, it's up to you to decide but the law says it's not. What's sick, a 25 yo looking at 18 yo, 30 yo looking at 18 yo, a 78 yo looking or dating 29 yo like Jagger, who all we know could be in a loving and mutual relationship?

All I'm stating is even the 'net moms' majority say you shouldn't have branded a guy who has looked at or is still looking at teen themed porn a paedophile. This is free speech, you can like it or lump it. But that is exactly what MsPants has stated and took action, it's her daughter and that's her free right... So be it.

But even more ridiculously she now believes her other half is safe now because he "says" he is no longer looking at that.

Really? How does she even know this, or can verify this unequivocally? It is a complete contradiction.

^^The above is the truth not some namby pamby pinko liberalist spiel. I'm just stating it for what it is. That's all. Would I do it, if I got to that age, I don't even know, I can't answer that.

 

Wait, I am liberal because I am acknowledging a mother's right to influence her daughter's decision-making? I guess we're not on the same page in terms of defining liberalism. But nevermind that.

Also, I'm not even sure where the whole paedophile thing came from in this topic. I mean, paedophilia concerns small kids. An 18 y.o. girl is... well, still young, obviously, but c'mon. The bottom line that you guys seem to be missing is the issue of "mental hygiene", i.e. the difference between a porn-warped mind that - willingly or unwillingly - perceives women as sexual objects, and a healthy mind that sees them as humans and is perfectly capable of shutting the pervert section of his brain off for higher purposes. That is what I thought NoFap mostly to be about, but it seems that for some of you it's just about curing your EDs and then indulging back in your oversexualized lifestyles, attitudes and beliefs, only taking care not to wank to pixels anymore. To me this is evidence for not really grasping the reasons for your problems in the first place. But it's your lives.

Plus, I didn't see OP saying she's "safe" now - she said the man and the relationship is "healing", and that's what she wanted. Allowing a person to repent and correct himself is perfectly in line with the classical Western values, and this is also what this community often stresses (that anyone can get out of even the worst hell).

And yes, of course I watched porn with teens in the past (still being a teen myself...); it was draining me morally and emotionally in the long run, and that's exactly why I STOPPED. It didn't have much to do with some silly superpowers or wanting to boost my chick magnet. I stopped precisely because it conflicted with my strong belief in family values. And that's also why this topic is agitating to me. And I'm sorry for the offtop, but well... All this still revolves around "needing help".

 

Well if you want to call her husband a paedophile or a child predator... whatever. The fact is she removed him from the household because apparently she thought he couldn't keep himself to himself around her daughter. That doesn't imply if they started a loving relationship, that implies he would one day pounce on her.

OK I see, we are word playing now, discussing the grey areas of what people mean. So I guess MsPants can explain what she means when she says, 'I trust him now, I know that now.' Also, why now is he trusted, what did he do therapy, does she now know he will never, EVER have a single thought about her daughter. Can she fly into his mind, his imagination and confirm this. If she wants to stick to her guns she should never allow him in their lives again, EVER, as he is a danger and can NEVER be trusted AGAIN.

BTW this is what rightly happens to convicted paedophiles. And you may laugh at this, but by throwing him out of the house that is exactly what she is saying and treating him as.

Also, neither one of you have confirmed what you believe to be RIGHT, come on, give us some ages of what you deem to be OK? So you were ONLY a teen when you looked at teen themed porn, never 20? And teen themed doesn't necessarily mean dressed up in school uniforms with pig tails, teen themed can also just mean fresh faced, 20 something years olds. Is this now wrong, should they be locked up?

Look I understand where you're coming from, we're here because ALL porn is bad and most of us aren't in relationships or damaging the ones we have. I get this. But when a mother brands her other half a predator and acts appropriately to chastise him I got to speak up.

 

I hit Rock bottom when I started to view women around me as sexual objects. When my mind wandered beyond the porn to stimulate having intercourse with women I knew, off the streets and just people I saw online. I knew then that I had lost my respect for women and the beautiful creation they are, as I do believe women deserve to be much much more respected than I had been treating them.

 

I recognised that my porn use had escalated to seeing escorts to act out scenes I had seen in porn. I was also just staring and objectifying women in public. I noticed that more and more bizarre porn was needed. I also noticed that objectifying women was essentially dehumanising them and making them worthless. This inturn gave me a deep feeling of worthlessness. I eventually noticed I was paying women to hurt me physically with no sex involved. I had such low self esteem that I felt I deserved the abuse and in some way enjoyed it. This coupled with PIED and increasing isolation from my friends and family.

I have noticed that porn has a tendency to become more bizarre and extreme. The growth in the "teen" porn category is I agree concerning as many of these girls are dressed younger. Porn seems to attack family values by making it seem normal for many abnormal situations to occur. This over time results in brainwashing and numbing to reality.

Nofap is the best thing that ever happened to me.

 

I began to see women as sexual objects and every attractive woman I saw, I mentally undressed her and fantasied about having sex with them. I degraded these women to my horny and lustful imagination as sex objects and nothing more. I feel disgusted in myself for ever doing such a thing. Finding that there were others like me, who were struggling and wanted to make their lives better to rid themselves of this horrible addiction, I gave me the hope that I can become better.

 

Well said man. Look everyone. @tweeby are not always on the same page about certain issues on this site. But I think the reasoning he has used in this thread is sound. I back him and support the principles he is trying to get across here.
I had no intention of posting further on this thread (as I indicated on Wednesday). However the personal comments about me by @zauvek made me feel bad. She has resorted to ad hominem attacks in order to discredit my opinions.

Just to clear up any confusion, I'm IGY (as you can see) and I am 50+. I've never had any relationship nor family [correct]. But here's the thing - so what? Well, your reason for stating that is clear. You state emphatically: "You know nothing when it comes to relationships." Just ask yourself @zauvek, have I ever claimed any experience or first hand knowledge of relationships. So, yet again, I ask - so what? I am entitled to express my opinion that I found Ms Pants' original decision an overreaction. Are you honestly suggesting that I have no business doing so because of my age etc?

Furthermore, you accuse me of being judgemental. Is that an accusation you level at all people that have the temerity to disagree with you? I could well ask your question of you, as you are in fact the one making personal judgements: 'Why do you judge then instead of trying to understand'?

Moreover, your parting shot was utterly astonishing! Making an assertion as personal as you possibly could, you stated that: "If you still crave that than that comes from porn, from some very deep psychological issues and your own inadequacy when it comes to interacting with adults." I utterly refute this! My views on this have nothing to do with porn, I do not have "very deep psychological issues" informing my point of view and I suffer from no "inadequacy when it comes to interacting with adults." I find the foundation of your post incredibly insulting and irrelevant in terms of the issue under discussion.

 

Whatever, guys. I'm out of this discussion. Have a nice day, and enjoy raising your daughters around guys who can't help secretly eyeballing their bikini suits on the beach.

 

Instead of running off with a passive aggressive assumption, just admit you went over the top. I'm sure all guys that have looked at teen themed porn are predators in the making. If we go by the stats that's probably 99% of guys. Don't forget the guys who look at older theme based porn but might be gang bang related, bondage related etc. Or what about the fact that practically every porn vid finishes with a facial, practically 90-95% off the time. It's OK if it isn't teen based right? Well that's OK. Heh.

 

Man, just re-read my previous posts, especially parts where I'm pointing out that it's not merely about whether the guy would actually predate or not - it's also about more delicate issues. I refuse to keep repeating myself forever. But we're obviously not reaching an agreement on this one, so just forget it.

 

Well, a couple of years ago... I had a short affair with a girl I worked with for a while... The reason we went out is because we both liked each other. We got on really well when we first met. I'm in my 30's and she was 19... Is that a problem? Neither of us thought so.... she at least had a driving licence... And I didn't. It's not a requirement in Scotland...


However.... None of this conversation has been helpful at all. It's so far off topic, it's unbelievable.... So, can we just bin it?

You're being completely judgementall... Just because you don't agree with it, doesn't mean it's wrong.

I'm only saying this because I'm sick of this conversation popping up in my alerts... It's not productive!

Is there anyway to unsubscribe from a thread?

 

I don't know. I never subscribe to threads, so I don't know if you can renege. Try asking this question on the NoFap forum.

 

Yeah, I just did...


By unsubscribe, I mean in such a way that as I made a comment way earlier in the thread... I get every alert... I'd like to unsubscribe from that.

 

I realized I needed help when I saw how much damage it could do in the long run

 

I thought it differed from state to state...?

 

Under the title... "Unwatch Thread" was working until you quoted my text lol

 

I agree with you. Any 40 something y/o male looking at a 16 or even 18 year old has a problem. An 18 yo can drive but has NO life experience and is immature compared to a 40 something yo man. Don't let the others get you down. You're doing the RIGHT thing. Especially when we KNOW that adult men will sometimes rape their daughters after watching this type of porn. It's called Tunnelling. They always have these fancy names for when men do something atrocious.

I'm with you on this 110%. Men in their 40's have ZERO in common with a teenage girl.

 

Where did you get this information from? Personally I find it a bit of a stretch that someone would go from watching "teen" (18 plus) P to committing incestuous rape. I think there would be more of a connection if the person was obsessed with watching violent rape or incest porn.

 

I think this is the problem in my relationship. When my boyfriend obstains things are amazing. He wont admit he has a problem though and im trying to find any way to help him.