Wanting to be the woman in porn

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Carabisto, Feb 13, 2019.

  1. Carabisto

    Carabisto New Fapstronaut

    3
    11
    3
    Hi
    I'm new here. To be short, I've been "PMOing" since I'm 12 (now I'm 24). Started softly with straight porn, then started shemale and pegging porn too (since maybe my 20). Since 2 years, I started to fantasizing about being the woman in the porn. Be her, feel what she feel in that moment. I don't want to be dressed like a girls or anything like that (I've read this on this forum), and it happens only when I'm excited. I even started to, on rare occasions, masturbating myself anally...
    Anyway, when I'm done, it's done, I'm myself again, and ashamed by what I was doing 1 minute earlier.
    Take note that I'm straight, my crush were always woman, I love feminine shapes, and (sorry for gays) absolutely not attracted to any man. (Except now just their genital maybe. I remember that I was very disgusted by it the first years I watched porn, but it seems that now I "like" it. Anyway I totally can't see myself with a guy, and I'm absolutely not homophobic trust me ! But if you really want to tag myself, call me bi I don't care xD I know that I'm only interested in woman IRL)

    So my question is, is there someone here that has been in the same situation as me and healed (having this fetish deleated) by doing nofap for a long (maybe very long) time ?

    Thanks you for reading me
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2019
    Satr19, u376, XyzTy and 5 others like this.
  2. Vitoriosa

    Vitoriosa Fapstronaut

    43
    87
    18
    Hi, good afternoon, this is the same situation as my husband, and I also wanted to know the same answer. incredible that pornography leads men to the same ways.
     
    ultrafabber, u376, XyzTy and 5 others like this.
  3. jetscooled

    jetscooled Fapstronaut

    33
    78
    18
    Hello,
    This is actually a much more common problem than you think. This is a typical case of densensitization for sex addicts. What once became an exciting and fufilling activity no longer does the trick. Now that normal sex doesnt do the trick, you need to go to a more extreme level in order to get the same pleasure. Sound familiar with alcholics needing more booze or drug addicts needing more to get there high?? same idea. Remeber, listen to your body!!!! sex is supposed to be a fun enjoyable and fulfulling experience, any action that leaves you feeling guilty or ashamaed is your body/minds way of saying knock it off or dont do it again!! refrain from all sexual activities, and i mean everything. our brains have been overstimulated and as a result we have programmed ourselves to search for the rush. whenever those urges come up we need to have a gameplan in place that will allow us to say no and remove ourselves from the situation were in or make a different choice than the one OUR ADDICTION wants us to make. I hope this helped
     
    Ant Man, Satr19, SirErnest and 9 others like this.
  4. Arthes

    Arthes Fapstronaut

    35
    11
    8
    I'm having the exact same situation.
     
    Satr19, u376, XyzTy and 1 other person like this.
  5. Carabisto

    Carabisto New Fapstronaut

    3
    11
    3
    Thanks for the answer. I hope this will fade away after a long reboot.

    And you still have thoses urges after being 67 days of nofap ?
     
  6. Quay27

    Quay27 New Fapstronaut

    2
    5
    3
    Don’t feel bad guys it passes eventually you are just looking for a something stronger to satisfy what you feel is a need at the time keep fighting and it will pay off
     
  7. Arthes

    Arthes Fapstronaut

    35
    11
    8
    after making love to my GF i do not have those thoughts. but i guess it is something that takes time and also you may be curious.
     
    Carabisto likes this.
  8. Freddiefox

    Freddiefox Fapstronaut

    2,661
    1,945
    143
    I believe that what happens with some is attraction to things caused by escalation. Your mind seeking out the next more "exciting" thing to get it's fix. This can be attracting you to a specific object more than a person, genitalia no matter the type. Which may be why you are not attracted to the same sex.
     
    Deleted Account, Quay27 and Carabisto like this.
  9. Vitoriosa

    Vitoriosa Fapstronaut

    43
    87
    18
    [QUOTE = "jetscooled, post: 1905240, membro: 261638"] Olá, não
    Este é realmente um problema muito mais comum do que você pensa. Este é um caso típico de densensibilização para viciados em sexo. O que uma vez se tornou uma atividade emocionante e fufilling não faz mais o truque. Agora que o sexo normal não faz o truque, você precisa ir para um nível mais extremo, a fim de obter o mesmo prazer. Soa familiarizado com alchólicos que precisam de mais bebida ou viciados em drogas que precisam de mais para chegar lá alto? mesma ideia. Lembre-se, ouça seu corpo !!!! sexo é suposto ser uma experiência divertida e gratificante, qualquer ação que o deixe se sentindo culpado ou envergonhado é o seu corpo / modo mental de dizer parar ou não fazê-lo novamente !! abster-se de todas as atividades sexuais, e eu quero dizer tudo. nossos cérebros foram superestimulados e, como resultado, nos programamos para procurar a corrida. sempre que esses impulsos surgirem, precisamos ter um plano de jogo que nos permita dizer não e nos retirar da situação em que estivemos ou fazer uma escolha diferente da que NOSSO VÍCIO deseja que façamos. Espero que isso tenha ajudado [/ QUOTE]
    I know why, he is already five months away from porn, plus the urges to dress is still very strong, he still did not associate that came from pornography, in his head the thoughts is that he has always been so, so much so that he says he did not want to have those thoughts anymore, thinking about penis all the time. our sex life is active, but for me it does not have the slightest desire to have sex, it seems that it's just fun. he does not get excited, he's cold, like he's doing it out of obligation. his will is to dress and stimulate himself. That's what I realize. would it be better to cut even sex with me, even the vanilla sex as you say?
     
  10. I have not "healed" yet but at the end i watched "her-point-of-view" vids and imagined being the women or just a gay guy pleasing the d..k in the clip.It really messed up my belief of who i am and what i want sexually,because it was such a huge turn on and i allowed that to happen.But im sexually attracted to man and women anyway ,so i dont know if that counts ,but i wished to be a women and have a vag,but it just happened when i watched P. so i think its P-related.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

    948
    1,102
    123
    This is very interesting to me and i've been thinking about it for a while. Even today i wrote a post on how watching porn emasculates us cause we see so many dicks https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...not-yours-this-is-completely-abnormal.215782/ and a while ago i wrote a topic discussing how masturbation emasculates us https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...ou-dont-fck-you-get-fcked-in-two-ways.215645/

    I also agree that I was initially completely disgusted by seeing erect penises and sperm in porn but over time i've become accustomed to it and in the last years I was actively searching for it (facials/deepthroat). This is in my opinion another strong example of how porn desensitizes you and makes you accept stuff you find gross just so you can be aroused (by women).

    Unlike you I didn't watch or wanted shemales or pegging but in a way I did feel feminine if that makes sense or i did feel like i can't be a man completely and i was extremely focused on the woman's pleasure and not at all on my own. I was identifying in a way with the woman?!? or something even if I never felt i was a woman myself.

    So I definitely am not attracted to men but in a way i wasn't attracted to women 100% either, i was in a way attracted to seeing women get fcked.

    I firmly believe porn can severely mess up your sexual identity and preferences.

    edit: I also had a tendency to befriend women and not show attraction to them or not get attracted to them. It was like we were the same. In a way i was the stereotypical "gay friend" of women. In short, i lacked the drive to "get/run after" women
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2019
  12. RedHaired

    RedHaired Fapstronaut

    Maybe a little triggering or NSFW:

    Same thing happened to me. It has been weird, saying the truth. I still fight with my orientation. Or better: I still fight with my mind. They say that homosexuality is something that you know as soon as you start entering in the world of sexuality. It is true that you can be confused. I always felt attracted by girls, even if I had a relationship with a boy when I was 14. I felt excited, but more for the idea of sex than the actual fact (we broke up because I was in love with a common girl friend of us). I remember that I simply noticed that I was attracted to "feminine" boys (and especially androgyn girls). Few times I fantasized about some of my female teachers beeing tranny and kidnapping me.
    Few times I wore my mum's underwear and MO on that. Keep in mind that I've been alone for many, many years, beeing isolated by both girls and boys. I felt to be straight, IRL i was attracted only by girls. I've simply desired to be friends with boys. It wasn't nor sexual or romantic attraction; it was simple willing to have friends. While I fell in love lot of times with girls (beeing rejected).

    I totally forget that stuff (few times PM with twink vids, but at a certain point I felt that it wasn't what I wanted and changed videos). Fought for several years (still fighting) with PIED. I started watching TS/Sissy vids this summer. I don't like gay vids, I've never felt attracted (sexually or in other senses) by men. Still, I think I have a sort of H-OCD. Started going out with a girl a half and a month ago... Few weeks ago I started fearing again to be homo because of all these things. It is true - I think - that P can trick your mind, change your sensations, your thoughts. Just 3-4 days of NoFap and I started seeing some progress, both with myself and with the relationship.

    I feel like there are two parts of myself. I've started this path because of this girl: I want her to be happy. She loves me; I want to make her happy, don't make her suffer with all my problems. Trying to slowly heal :)
     
  13. Zamyou

    Zamyou Fapstronaut

    32
    23
    8
    Yup i have had the same fantasies but even that novelty has worn off... Ive also had HOCD / TOCD because of it...
    It started off with vanilla fantasies and now i'm almost into anything pornwise lol... but def not gay or trans either... i guess with porn we MIGHT discover some of our kinks but with porn we over indulge in taboo and small kinks and vanilla stuff becomes boring.
    Do a reboot and you will see a decrease in those fantasies.. but it will take a while!
     
    XyzTy and Immature like this.
  14. guitargeek0517

    guitargeek0517 Fapstronaut

    42
    50
    18
    its just porn! And it does fade away..i dont know if it is permanent..but i can tell you about my shit ..started porn at 12 or 13..didnt exactly know about the biology behind it..was curious, searched and gained knowledge..then watched a lot of straight stuff..slowly i started to move to other stuff..now i think its because my brains's seen enough of straight porn and wanted heavier things..then i got lost in all sorts of stuff..petite,teen, changed to anal,i also did anal myself..i wanted to do it like those women and wanted to fist myself..i tore myself up but still i came back to it sometime later..then again searching and fantasizing, hentai,cartoon, the hanging stuff, the rape stuff,saw the dirty fluid stuff.. once i even fantazised myself as a woman in a gangbang..searched gay and shemale too,but thank god i was too ashamed at myself to continue..i even got peaks of the shitty stuff..but every thing that i came to fantasise had once disgusted me..even anal diagusted me earlier..i think as one moves on with porn you get less disgusted..then my gf came back for me,we were seperated earlier..i decided i would stop this atleast for her..then when i stopped i understood that it was all the porn that made me crazy..i stopped having fantasies..i had actually forgot all of this stuff till i read your post, it was only when i was typing that i remembered all about it..i diverted all my energy to music,exercise, and drawing ..now and then i get a little fantasised..other day i was thinking of hairjobs..but a quick glance at my wallpaper with my friends and gf would change my mind..it will fade buddy..just STOP PORN..stop everything that links you to it like youtube erotica..reading bad books..i used to search and search for hidden youtube porn,claiming myself in mind as a champion when i did so..now i can look at that side of me as another person..i changed my goals in life..now i want to travel, sing, make a little green, travel again..it was earlier watching more porn,threesomes, prostitutes,dating and one night stands...there was a stage when i fantasised about tying up my neighbours, some of my relatives ,teachers etc..you might think i m a monster..i do too..i believe i have changed and will a lot..but i also know that if i started on this stuff again i would be crazy again..but now i can see women as equals at least on some days..

    you should stick to your streak and dont even try to cheat yourself..its just not worth it.. i believe there are lots wonderful people who love u,love them back and talk to them if u are still struggling..if u dont stop PMO urgently and start making people love u..wish you all the best bro..u opened up my eyes too,now i can compare who i was to who i am now
     
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2019
    SirErnest, XyzTy, Gmork and 3 others like this.
  15. Carabisto

    Carabisto New Fapstronaut

    3
    11
    3
    What a story. I don't think at all that you are a monster haha, sometimes even when I was like 14 I also had terrible fantasy but it stayed on my mind I would never do this. You give me hope because even if the fantasy don't go away permanently, I just don't want it to be in my mind 24/7 and get anxiety by it when I'm with girls etc. Thanks for sharing your story :)
     
  16. guitargeek0517

    guitargeek0517 Fapstronaut

    42
    50
    18
    nah i like to believe it goes away..i actually forgot about this stuff till typing it..so it does go away..and for the permanent part,lets me wait and see..
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  17. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    @Carabisto @Arthes @Lostbutmotivated @Zamyou @guitargeek0517

    Hey guys I just wanna tell you my story real quick. Started PMO around 14, got very deep into sissy porn and literally anything you can think of that's related (cuckold, feminization, anal, chastity, hypno, you name it, everything). It was always on my mind. I eventually bought some women's clothes, lingerie, anal sex toys, and a chastity cage; used them a lot over this past summer. I had serious questions about my sexuality, and basically accepted I was gay or bi. I even seriously considered transitioning genders because I was so aroused and excited with anything sP that I thought I had to be trans, but it just didn't fit, so I waited. Almost a year ago, when I was PMOing at least once a week for 2 hours, a girl wanted to have sex with me. This would have been the perfect time to lose my virginity. She was suuuper hot, funny, quirky, and we were already just good friends. However, due to all the PMO, I literally could not get an erection while she was naked in front of me. This made me think even more I was a sissy or trans or gay or whatever.

    One day I stumbled onto NoFap, and realized all my problems, like erectile dysfunction at 19 y/o, warped sexual preferences and fetishes, and unwarranted gender dysphoria, was all from PMO. Going into NoFap, I could not get erections from real women, PMOed to sP at least 3 hours a day, thought I was gay/bi and trans, and didn't understand who I was or what I was attracted to at all.

    After a 90 day reboot, everything is changed. I 100% know I'm a man, and I am only attracted to real girls. I know sP, and all P for that matter, is bad for me, so i don't watch it at all, and the small urges I get everyday are waning each week. I bang my girlfriend twice a week with 100% erections, I finish in a timely manner each time, and it feels fucking fantastic, incredibly better than any type of PMO.

    Seeing you guys with the same questions and feelings as I had 100+ days ago, I can see that you guys have the same problem I did. PMO has clouded your mind, and the only way to exorcise it is with a 90 day reboot, followed by sex with real women. You guys can be cured of these horrible thoughts and fetishes. You just gotta understand what's happening to you, understand what you need to do to fix it, and then just do it.

    These are some pages from my favorite porn addiction website, Your Brain on Porn. The site is curated by the leading porn addiction professionals and has all the latest scientific research into porn addiction, so imo it's the best site for answers. Obviously read the articles I put down here, but really browse and explore to learn more about what's happening to you.

    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/mis...-has-not-prepared-your-brain-for-todays-porn/
    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-porn-use-faqs/
    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/reb...n-or-gay-attracted-to-straight-porn-whats-up/
    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-porn-use-faqs/is-my-fetish-porn-induced/
    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/por...ll-guys-suffering-from-pied-the-good-the-bad/
     
  18. guitargeek0517

    guitargeek0517 Fapstronaut

    42
    50
    18
    thank u bro for sharing, atleast i can know that the problems will fade away..my gf is also afraid of whether i ll get ED when we have sex..and i was also nervous about it.u give me hope
     
  19. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    If you have done 500+ days of no PMO, you should be ready go for sex. I would definitely go and try. It may not feel amazing at first, and you may not be 100% hard, and you may not even finish. It happened to me when I got back into sex, and it happens to other guys. It goes away after a little bit and you start getting real strong erections. At first your brain is aroused and excited, but finds PIV stimulation kinda weird and not very vigorous. Your brain learns that sex is awesome, and then it feels good.

    But seriously, if you've done 500 days of no PMO, then you should be primed for sex.
     
    Arthes and Deleted Account like this.
  20. Harrynak

    Harrynak Fapstronaut

    80
    90
    18
    please read carefully

    the porn is changing your mind

    you are thinking you are aroused by things you are not, it is only the stimuli is getting weaker for ="normal' porn and you feel more stimuli for things you are not used to i.e. "new" things like gay porn, shemales, if you keep continuing on this road eventually you end up with really violent porn or things like children …

    is that what you want? than please continue

    if thats what you dont want ? Please quit today

    you will see all the urges and strange fetishes will go away whitin a few months

    good luck
     

Share This Page