When you masturbate you train yourself to be passive. You don't fck, you get fcked in two ways

I get what you're saying about masturbation training us to only want "passive" sex, and I totally agree that that's a bad thing. But what I don't get is when you talk about "being the woman" or "being the man," and that somehow it's more "masculine" to be active and thrusting while it's more "feminine" to be passive, just taking it. Are you perhaps talking about socialized gender roles here? The constructed notion that men are, for whatever reason, supposed to be "in charge" of the situation? Because I can't agree with that. We're all just people, and if two people (of whatever gender) get together to have sex, it should be up to them to explore their shared sexuality in whatever way they want. There's no limit to what two loving people can accomplish together, and if you're fixated on fulfilling a role that defines you as either "masculine" or "feminine," then you miss the point. Just my two cents.

 

I'm not talking about the whole gender vs. sex debate. I'm talking about people being people, without allowing themselves to be socialized to fit a prescribed role. The act of sex can be accomplished in many, many different ways, and part of the joy, I've realized, in building a loving sexual relationship with my partner is for her and I to explore all the parts of our shared sexual experience. We don't put each other into boxes marked "masculine" and "feminine," although we are a man and a woman; we just enjoy being together, loving each other. That's what being human is all about.

 

But we're not ''other animals'' we're human beings. I get your point and partially agree but what about in the context of homosexual and bisexual men who have sex with other Men?

You do make a good point but humans and sexuality are a bit more complex then your basic analysis.

MIND YOU, despite that I do think Men ''generally'' like possibly 75% of the time have a natural urge to dominate and thrust (lol)

 

Nothing personal buddy but I don't agree with this. If you never get addicted to porn and PMO in the first place there is nothing wrong with masturbating or emasculating once in a while.
Basically what you wrote is how about you feel on masturbation but there is nothing really to back up your theory. I do agree that masturbation can take away your energy and make you less motivated to actually go out there and meet women, have sex etc... but saying that by masturbation your are "turning into a woman" by default is taking things too far.

 

As for the existence of prescribed gender roles, here are two: men are aggressive, competitive people who provide for and protect their families, while serving as leaders and discipliners of children; women are nurturing, gentle, mothering, caring people who raise the children and keep the house. I've never felt comfortable falling in to the typical "man" role, and my partner has never felt comfortable falling into the typical "woman" role. Does that mean we're not a man and a woman? Of course not. We are biologically male and female, but we don't follow the gender roles that society has placed for us. That's the thing; as humans, we can choose what kind of people we want to be.

That's all I meant when I mentioned socialization and gender roles. I realize I've taken your thread off-topic, and I apologize.

 

You know that's a misconception most people have. 'Gender roles' are not about whether you are a man or a woman. It's about being masculine or feminine. A man can be feminine and a woman can be masculine and the other way round. That doesn't mean that you don't belong to your own sex anymore.
If you don't feel comfortable with "being are aggressive, competitive people who provide for and protect their families, while serving as leaders and discipliners of children" then that means society will perceive you as less masculine. That's all there is to it.

 

Thank you, that's my point. @ultrafabber said that gender roles are non-existent. My point is that the very concept of masculinity and femininity are gender roles, and they are caused by a combination of biochemistry and social norms. The point is, we can choose what kind of people we want to be. Biochemistry is only the tip of the iceberg for determining behaviours and personality.

 

I don't know if it's your intention to assert that gender roles are 'social constructs' like popular feminist lore does, however if that is the case, I would disagree with you.

 

We are animals however that doesn't take away the fact we are Homo-Sapiens not ''any old animal'' We are more complex than say, a Fish.

Homosexuality is paraphillia? Homosexuality is essentially a feminine concept? Ok thats your view. Not going to debate on Human sexuality on this site anymore its boring.

 

Men can express their masculinity in different ways. Whats tough in one culture can be seen as ''Womanly'' in another Country. Men in the Caribbean ''Wine their waist'' to upbeat music so are they all feminine? Men in India are said to sometimes hold hands when walking is this feminine and unmanly?

Some things are behaviourally Male however most behaviours are up to culture to interpret.

 

I agree that this forum does not exist to argue. We are here to encourage one another, to build each other up and to help each other become healthy. In that vein, I wish everyone here the best in their personal journey to health. I'm not here to compete or "win" any arguments (maybe that's just because I'm not "masculine" ).

Cheers all!

 

You need to Man up! haha

 

Come on man, that's not how you win a debate. If someone makes a point you don't agree with, simply make a counterpoint. Running from debates like a sissy won't get you anywhere.

What if you have a girlfriend who wants to watch you masturbate? Legit question, I anticipate a lot of guys in this situation.

 

A "sissy"

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