Wanting sex from someone I don't like?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by WhyNotStop, Jun 11, 2019.

  1. WhyNotStop

    WhyNotStop Fapstronaut

    So here's my problem. I talking to various females, One of them seems to be the one that is just so in love with me that is willing to give herself up without much effort from my part. My dilemma is I don't really like her, She was the one who initiated a sexual move while we were on a trip. I feel as this is another sexual addiction response where all I want is sex. I don't even want a relationship (she does), all I want out of this is sex. I know lots of guys who have the tendency to do this, who only mess around with a girl for sex and move on to the next one. Truth is I feel the need to experience sex a little before jumping into a relationship because I'm 19 and still a virgin. Is this the right mindset? A response of the base of every man (to reproduce) or a response of my addict personality?
     
    Rebooter45674 likes this.
  2. Dizzy Lotus

    Dizzy Lotus Fapstronaut

    1,603
    1,229
    143
    Why would you want to 'experience sex a little' before getting into a relationship? Wouldn't it be great if you're married 15 years from now and can say that it was your wife whom you lost your virginity to, and not some random girl you could get into bed easily?
     
  3. WhyNotStop

    WhyNotStop Fapstronaut

    You see religion had that mindset on me. Now I can truly see. I can't let religion rule my life anymore. I don't want to wait until marriage. The question being posed is should I have sex outside an actual relationship with someone who I don't necessarily want to have a relationship with? or should I work harder to get into a real relationship to then have sex.
     
    Rebooter45674 and need4realchg like this.
  4. Jackb97

    Jackb97 Fapstronaut

    309
    596
    93
    Why would that be great. Why not experience many women. Everyone acts like casual sex can't be something you look back fondly at. It's not a shameful act in my eyes.
    Why are so many people on nofap (a forum for porn addicts) so against casual sex meanwhile jerking it to all sorts of sinful material.
     
  5. Jackb97

    Jackb97 Fapstronaut

    309
    596
    93
    Just enjoy yourself bro. have fun life's short. I doubt Jesus would be mad at you for slinging some dick anyway.
     
  6. It's your choice. If you truly want to have sex with her, go for it. What's the point of not letting religion rule your life if you're letting other people make decisions for you? Just understand that casual sex can lead to heartache if one of the people involved actually wanted a relationship. If you don't want a relationship, you might want to be honest with her about that fact.

    The only thing with getting into a relationship is, you might find that sex is more meaningful. Some people do. And that's fine too, there's nothing wrong with it either way.

    Do what you want to do. Don't let other people make choices for you. Have fun in your life! :cool:
     
    MadJackMcMad and WhyNotStop like this.
  7. WhyNotStop

    WhyNotStop Fapstronaut

    I agree you only live once. Beating my dick around is much worst. Sex won't have me feeling like complete shit afterwards.
     
    Jackb97 and Deleted Account like this.
  8. WhyNotStop

    WhyNotStop Fapstronaut

    Yea I have the tendency to have other people make decisions for me. I don't know why. Guess porn has made me quite insecure about myself.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  9. Same here. You just have to trust that you'll make the right decision. That can go a long way to being more satisfied with your life. Because ultimately, you're the only one that has to live your life, so why let someone else decide on something that only you are affected by?
     
    WhyNotStop likes this.
  10. WhyNotStop

    WhyNotStop Fapstronaut

    I agree. I wish I would have gone away from home for college my first year (this year) but parents kept forcing on me the idea to stay home until I get my associates even though I have a scholarship that covers everything, Including food.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. You're an adult now, don't let your parents make any decisions for you. They can advise you to do something, but ultimately they still have to respect the decision you make, even if they disagree with it. If they're trying to force you to do something, then they aren't respecting you as an individual and that's not okay.

    You can try to have a mature discussion with them about it, and if they don't respond to that, then I would just respectfully say that next year you're going away from home for college, and that's that.

    Good luck! Enjoy life and have fun! Don't let anybody say you can't. :cool::D
     
    WhyNotStop likes this.
  12. WhyNotStop

    WhyNotStop Fapstronaut

    Thanks man.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  13. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Have you been as honest with her as you were in this thread ?

    If not, just tell her. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I am not ready to get into a relationship right now. But I AM ready to get in bed—- what up girl?”
     
  14. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    1,301
    3,061
    143
    It has nothing to do with religion at least for me. I am the biggest heretic of the 21th Century and I want that too.
    It is up to you if you want it outside a relationship or not.
     
  15. Randy

    Randy Fapstronaut

    327
    449
    63
    Are you sexually attracted to her? Does she turn you on?
     
  16. justafriend

    justafriend Fapstronaut

    Morality aside, my concern here is that since you have yet to make traction with NoFap, are you going to substitute one addiction (porn) with another (sex)? Given addict personality (kudos for being brave enough to admit and confront this early!!), you have a legit reason to be extremely cautious. Meaningless sex for an addict carries far more risk than for a non-addict.

    Maybe try getting to 30-90 days on NoFap hard mode, then reassess?
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2019
  17. unbeepmyself

    unbeepmyself Fapstronaut

    14
    31
    13
    Don't be naive kid. Of course you would feel like all you want is sex. You are a man. Embrace it.

    I see your counter says "No orgasm".
    Define your goals then proceed from there. Be damn clear.
     
    Foxhole likes this.
  18. Dizzy Lotus

    Dizzy Lotus Fapstronaut

    1,603
    1,229
    143
    Because if you have sex with a person, you will be forever (or at least for as long as you live) connected to that person. If you do hope to once be married, or at least be in a secure relationship, you will suffer from being connected to more women than one, I expect. I fortunately can't speak from personal experience, though! [​IMG]
     
  19. GaryMayor

    GaryMayor Fapstronaut

    I had sexual relationships with women I never even considered as a possible life parner. I had always such category of girls 'good enough to receive blowjob, not enough to be in serious relationship'. I think it was not fair to treat somebody like that, even when I never lied to them and I was not directly responsible for their expectations. Nevertheless, I don't recommend you such behavior - it is like a porn. On the other hand, previous sexual acticity usually is not a big deal in further relationship. I have never consider past sexual life as important. There is nothing to be freak out about :)
     
    justafriend and Foxhole like this.
  20. Jackb97

    Jackb97 Fapstronaut

    309
    596
    93
    Hmm I don't know about that.
     

Share This Page