There have been a lot of questions lately about setting boundaries and following up with consequences. SOs want to feel safe and not feel like they are a parent, tracking every single movement of their partner. PAs don't want to feel controlled or like they are in prison with too many rules or unreasonable demands. Here are some basic starting points to get you started. This is like a resource thread for boundaries, so please, chime in with your ideas and any information you'd like to add. It's nice to have them all in one place since it's a question that comes up quite a bit. - It is best to start with a handful of boundaries, no more than 5 or 6. - Make sure there is no wiggle room, no room for loopholes, or perceived misunderstandings (willfully looking for loopholes could qualify as a boundary/tied to gaslighting). - Set consequences that you are willing to follow through with. If you don't follow through, there's no reason for boundaries in the first place. - Make sure the consequences are something that you can handle as well, otherwise it may cause you to relent. Torture for yourself is not the goal. - Allow yourself room to adjust your boundaries and consequences. You may find that some things work better than others or as time goes on what was once necessary isn't anymore or you need to add/change others. How you set up the consequences is up to you. You work it however you find is best for your situation. You could have the same consequence for each infraction of the same boundary, or you could do a graduated system where the first time is the least severe, 2nd time is more severe, etc.