Utter Loneliness at the age of 15

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Silver36, Jul 15, 2019.

  1. Silver36

    Silver36 Fapstronaut

    I have friends...they are all a bunch of loosers who fap.
    I have to go this shitty school for 7 hours everyday and endure pain.
    I am loosing all human connections due to my school. i am becoming sadder day by day nofap is not helping.
    None of my friends are true.
    No new friends left to make
    I am stuck in life
    Everything is stuck in a repetitive cycle.
    There is nothing to look forward to
    Nothing to look back at.
    I am completely stuck.
    I have thought of leaving home after this grade but you cant even work in fucking mcdonalds without a college degree here.
    Hopelessness
    Loosing of all faith in anything and everything.
    I could exercise everyday and become fit but what's the motherfucking point. Who will I have to impress. Nobody.
    Sorry I am very sad today and this forum is the only outlet I have for my feelings.
    I am stuck in this shitty school till March 2020.
    How the actual fuck will I survive till then.
    And even If I do survive...
    All the best people would already have friends. All the hottest girls would already be in a relationship.
     
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2019
    prsguitars2 likes this.
  2. properWood

    properWood Fapstronaut

    I feel your pain, but the last two sentences I disagree with.

    > All the best people would already have friends.
    You can make friends all life long. Smart people are always looking for other smart people. I'm cutting most of my "friends" out of my life currently, because I noticed that I've lowered my bar to allow other people in and I am the one who gets frustrated. Rather have 2-3 good friends than 20 acquaintances that it happens I call "friends".


    > All the hottest girls would already be in a relationship.
    You'll find hotties that are single in every age group, but is that what you really want, a hot girl? Why? To impress your loser friends? For what purpose? Everyone is screwed up a little bit and a hot girl does not equal a perfect human being at all, they're also rather screwed up. I'd say what you want from the other sex is compassion, intimacy, understanding, elegance and grace, friendship. What porn teaches as being "acceptable" as a girlfriend is not real, similar with girls in magazines that simply look too skinny to be healthy, yet all the teen girls are so wanting to look like them; that's not reality, that's made to sell magazines. Porn is made to be sold, not to tell you how life really is.


    Apart from gym, do you have other other ways to do stuff? Say start swimming classes (creates a sculpted body), or learn dancing tango (makes your body move smooth and sexy), or learn chess (helps with critical thinking), or boxing/martial arts. Girls are generally impressed with guys that look after themselves, not with those that chase them. If school is boring, learn from varying domains to expand your general knowledge. At 37, I regret not spending more time in my teen days learning about things in general (and I had no high-speed internet back then). I now discovered philosophy, learning what does it mean to live a good life, how does one define a good life and why should one live a good life.

    Hope you can get unstuck soon! I wish you luck in changing somehow your environment and beliefs for the better :)
     
  3. Theproudlion

    Theproudlion Fapstronaut

    I get where you're coming from the first few paragraphs. I'm 15 aswell, and Everybody my age watches porn and its SO annoying. I was laughed at and mocked. Even my "best friends" started trying to show me porn when I told them that I don't watch it.
     
    Silver36 likes this.
  4. keepitreal-88

    keepitreal-88 Fapstronaut

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    Your looking at this all wrong, look again:

    I have friends... that's better than some people
    I have to go this shitty school for 7 hours everyday so lets have fun doing it
    I am making more human connections outside and in school. i am becoming better and more confident every day, nofap is helping.
    None of my friends are true, so lets understand them better
    Lots of friends left to make
    I am looking for opportunities in life
    Everything is stuck in a repetitive cycle and I'm going to mix it up.
    There is plenty to look forward to
    Nothing to look back at, the only way is forward
    I am completely off the hook
    I have thought of leaving home after this grade and I'll prove a can work at a fucking mcdonalds without a college degree.
    Hopefulness
    Faith in myself to do anything and everything.
    I could exercise everyday and become fit and be at my best, they might not say it but people are impressed
    Guys I am very excited today and this forum is a great outlet I have for my feelings.
    I am going to get the most out of this shitty school till March 2020.
    This is how the actual fuck I will survive till then.
    And why should I survive...
    All the best people should have me as a friend. All the hottest girls are always looking for a new relationship. I'm gonna become the person they deserve.
     
    Alex1993 and Silver36 like this.
  5. Guys at 15 I felt very similar but I can tell you it gets better! You will naturally make great friends with the progress of developing yourself. How can you get an amazing friend when you haven't reached the most amazing you can be? Don't worry about it too much
     
    Silver36 likes this.
  6. rafael33

    rafael33 Fapstronaut

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    Don't consider your friends as loosers. In your age the body is flooded with hormones and M is some way to deal with it. Don't judge those who are fapping. Feel yourself privileged you already realized there is more to experience than to jerk off. Maybe one of your friends will be a fapstronaut in half a year.

    I remember that in your age I had the hardest time of my life. Since many years I appreciate my life very much and feel a lot of gratitude for being alive. So - I see a great future for you. You have the capability to experience true happiness.

    Sometimes we are sad. It's okay. In this community you are not alone. Enjoy your NO-PMO-journey, it's not easy but worth to go.
     
    Silver36 likes this.
  7. Pity

    Pity Fapstronaut

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    https://getpocket.com/explore/item/30-behaviors-of-unstoppable-people?utm_source=pocket-newtab

    Negative thinking is a trap
    don't believe it!

    There are many stories about your situation if you only knew you would be encouraged positive and hopeful!
     
    Silver36 likes this.
  8. Silver36

    Silver36 Fapstronaut

    Thank you so much
    Thank you.

    From today i will be joining my basketball practice for evenings. I am not in shape

    As for friends, reading your posts really fill me with hope that I will find some great ones. Until i do, I will work on myself :)

    For sexual purposes
    :emoji_disappointed_relieved:




    Thank you for this:)

    Positive Mindset = Positive Life
     
  9. Bobske

    Bobske Fapstronaut

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    LOL, a woman becomes really hot when you love her and appreciate her personality.
    Sex is nice, sex& intimacy is amazing.

    You are doing great dealing with this at 15!
    Keep it up.
     
    Silver36 likes this.
  10. lvcas

    lvcas Fapstronaut

    @properWood just drove the point home so damn well.
    It’s hard to change things when you’re feeling down, and that really feels bad. I know how sheerly soul-sucking it is to be somewhere you don’t want to be, surrounded by people you don’t get along too well with, thinking ‘what’s the point of all this?’. I’ve been there before.
    I don’t want to get too abstract with this because you need practical guidelines to sort yourself out, so I’ll try to make it concise and to the point.
    If you don’t feel like your friends are true, then they probably aren’t good for you. Think about the impact that they have on your life — is it positive or negative? In what ways? If you find they’re doing more harm than good, cut ties with them to the extent you can. @properWood said it best, it truly is best to have a couple of close friends you connect with and are supportive than a large group that makes you feel bad. What other people have you not connected with in your area? I’m really damn glad you’re joining basketball practice, that’s an excellent way to meet new people and for you to try your hand at something new.

    I’ve had a couple of occasions where I didn’t find school especially appealing. The perception I had was skewed, to some extent, by how depressed I was at the time. Though I know it can be hard, analyse your own motives for not liking school — is it the curriculum? The teaching methods? The people you’re around (see first paragraph)? Whatever they may be, think them through and see what you can do about them. Like said, you really should look at education as a whole as a means to developing yourself and if you have the chance to, broaden your horizons through online resources or library books, if you have one near you. The matter of fact is that education is quite probably the most important thing you have at your disposal to face the situations you have in front of you. Don’t let it go to waste, man.
    You could write a bit every day about whatever comes to mind, maybe what you’re going through. Keep it in a private journal, or let it out into NoFap. Whatever it is, give your feelings an outlet and express yourself. Letting your emotions be felt and conveyed is good.

    I hear what you’re saying about hopelessness and the invalidity of effort if there’s no one to impress. A couple years back I also felt I was stuck with nothing to look forward to. It seemed like there was no point to putting effort into anything. That’s plain and simply wrong, to the point that there isn’t actually anything that could be farther from the truth.
    I’m sure you crave meaningful relationships (be they with pretty women or not). That’s normal, and even more so if you’re starved of meaningful relationships with other people. I’m not sure if that is the case for you, but sex shouldn’t be your primary goal. It isn’t sustainable as the core of a relationship if that’s the only thing holding it, as much as real emotional connection isn’t sufficient by itself. I get the appeal of sex. What you need to do right now is tweak your view to seeing people as actual human beings, instead of longing for a relationship with someone simply for sexual actions.
    Other thing you’re not seeing from the right angle is the importance of effort. Regardless of whether or not others will see it, you should put in effort for yourself. The main vehicle of change shouldn’t be the garnering of others’ approval or lust. That’s bound to fail if you ever come across someone that isn’t interested in you (which invariably happens). It should be, primarily, the sense that you’re progressing towards something you value, something you find good and meaningful. I know at 15 it’s hard as hell to find that, but you need to introspect in order to find it. What would you like to make of your life? Find that desired goal and work out the ways of getting there. Make adjustments as necessary. Post here often with problems you can’t seem to solve on your own. Don’t take others’ opinion as sacred (not even mine); but when you’re in a place you don’t like and you can’t find your way out of it, it’s good to listen to as many people as you can and choose what makes sense to you. It won’t always feel right — in fact, most effective approaches are counter-intuitive and make you feel negatively in the short term. Follow as many of these guidelines as you can and work out what’s working and what’s not. Genuinely believe that existence is positive and that there’s something you can make of yourself that’ll make life worth living to the fullest. Keep us posted, man. Love you.

    lb
     
    properWood and Silver36 like this.
  11. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    Stand your ground and don't give in to their PMO-shite because it will give you years of trouble, misery, pain and agony!!
    It is coming from someone who started watching it in 2001-2002 and didn't manage to stop until 15 years later and the multiple side-effects were not worth that little pleasure at all. Whatever you do, don't open that Pandora's box under any circumstances.
     
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  12. Silver36

    Silver36 Fapstronaut

    I would disagree with you and will consider your opinion sacred, because it IS for me.

    You really put my thoughts into words, i just needed that OK from someone and got it from you.
    I would work hard so that From now on every thought of bettering myself is For Myself, not for other's praise or attention.

    I really am actually very lucky to have such an advantage over those who are poor, have bad parents, and no means to education at all.
     
    lvcas and properWood like this.
  13. Mahmojo8

    Mahmojo8 Fapstronaut

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    I was in your exact spot for my whole Junior-Senior year. I’m 17 Rn. Every time I get this depressive episode of apathy and hate towards people and my position in life I just remember that this is just a phase in my life. I think it’s around this time that most mature kids will look at their friends and starting looking for more meaningful qualities in their close relationships. Some of my close friends right now were actually

    I love piano and when I got depressed a lot I would just do things that I really liked doing. At first I wasn’t really into piano, I just liked one piano song called Liebestraume by Frans Liszt. I looked up a synthesia of it and just started practicing. I almost never left the piano. Some days I played for 8 hours straight without leaving the piano.

    What I’m trying to say is to have something productive and that you like doing to get out of this phase. Doing things you enjoy and getting out in nature will at least make this phase of your life at least bearable.
     
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  14. lvcas

    lvcas Fapstronaut

    I’m so happy to hear that, man. You can get through this and get yourself to a place you like. I’m here for the ride! :)

    lb
     
    Silver36 likes this.
  15. lolos

    lolos Fapstronaut

    Stop being such a sad cunt. Heres the questions you should be asking: Why would anyone want to be friends with me? What value do I add to other peoples live? Why would any woman find me attractive? Why would anyone hire me?

    You will probably find it very difficult to answer these questions. What if in 12 months you were able to answer all of them? People want to be friends with me because I am cool, funny and do interesting things. I introduce my friends to other friends which brings them value, I also lift them up and make them feel good about themselves. I have been hitting the gym for the past year so I have nice muscles, that combined with being funny makes women attracted to me. I have been working odd jobs to learn skills so now I am trained in a wide range of areas and am employable. What if they were your answers? Because they can be.

    Suck up all the shit you have to deal with. Everyone has to deal with shit. Just look through this forum, every second post is some sad cunt complaining about something. What makes you think you are special? No ones coming to help you, take responsibility for your own life. I'm not going to sugar coat it like some other people will try to. If you really want changes it is not going to be easy. In fact it will probably be harder at first, but it will be worth it. Godspeed
     
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  16. Silver36

    Silver36 Fapstronaut

    i wish
     
  17. Silver36

    Silver36 Fapstronaut

    I understand you comments.
    I am not a typically sad guy.
    You can see from my other and older posts how energetic and happy go lucky i usually am.
    Its just the past 2 months. That I have been seeing dead ends everywhere.
    I try everyday to workout(basketball club suspended for some weeks), I am sometimes able to, but other times I just stop midway, put the dumbells down and think why am I doing this or why even bother.

    I hope this is just a phase, a flatline or something like that.
    Thank you for beign supportive
    :emoji_purple_heart:
     
    lvcas likes this.
  18. Silver36

    Silver36 Fapstronaut

    sorry for beign a sad cunt
     
  19. lvcas

    lvcas Fapstronaut

    Don’t take what he said personally, brother. In his (pretty stupid) way, it was supposed to get you pumped.
    You’re fucking awesome and I believe you can pull through this. Remember all the advice on this thread and keep yourself accountable.
    Chin up, buddy!

    lb
     
    Silver36 likes this.
  20. prsguitars2

    prsguitars2 Fapstronaut

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    Idk if you still actively follow this post, but I need to comment on this. Please read this through bro

    I was in your same situation. Or at least I was three years ago. I ate lunch in the bathroom by myself. Not even my teachers knew my name. I felt hopeless and depressed. I made friends with these stoners, but I am very anti drugs or anything like that so I hated every second of our “friendships”. People labeled me as a stoner because I hung out with a bad crowd, but all I wanted to do leave. I felt hated. I was suicidal.

    I learned many things the hard way, but now I have friends. I pulled myself out of that rut. I kicked it’s ass. But I had to fucking work for it. The fact that you even know about nofap shows me that you have the mental intelligence and understanding to do what I did. We’re both woke, and even though for this short part of your life you feel like you’re in hell, you have the same tools that all the greatest people in the world had to become kings.

    What I learned from those first couple months at my school were invaluable. Adversity illicits the best parts of yourself.


    Even though everything feels so overwhelming and terrible, you have to understand that this is only a short chapter of your life. You have years left, and all the potential in the world. But you have to realize that now is the time to take action. You’re young. You have such a huge head start ahead of your peers, and you don’t even realize it. There’s two things you need to do to achieve anything you want in this life.

    1. You need to master your lifestyle.

    I get it, you live with your parents. That automatically puts a huge cap on your ability to change your lifestyle, but there’s so many things you can do right now. Here’s a list of things that if you can incorporate into your daily routines, will biologically help with depression and so many other problems. This isn’t even some dumb placebo shit, this is medically tested stuff that’s going to help a ton.

    Meditate, exercise, eat clean, develop a skincare routine, nofap, take some damn multivitamins, go out of your comfort zone daily, drink hella water, talk to new people, etc.

    2. You need to master your thoughts.

    It doesn’t matter if you life in the worst place in the world, literally you could live in the pits of hell, but if your mindset is right and your thoughts are collected, you are unstoppable.

    Start meditating. Today. Do it every day for the rest of your life. Don’t miss it for travel, birthdays, holidays, anything. Watch the “ meditation guide ” video by Actualized.org on YouTube. That will convince you if I didn’t. It’s the key to everything in my opinion.

    And one last thing. If you hate your town so much, then make a game plan now to get the hell out. Go to school out of state in my opinion. You’re going to have to work hard to pay for it but if you don’t have any idea what you want to do for the rest of your life then go to a cheap college. A degree will save your ass if you have no aspirations right now. And plus, once out of your situation, with your dumb friends and poor lifestyle, you will have all the tools to become an alpha and create a life that fits your individual needs and desires
     
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