Try not watch gay porn

Hey @thelyokotree ,

I'm nobody special on here. Just a regular user saying, "welcome".

There is so much support on this forum, the profiles and the various groups. It works if you work it. I don't offer advise. I offer only my ESH (experience, strength and hope).

My ESH is that NoFap is about action and that meant work for me. It is not about "not doing something", for me, it is about working my program.

Work it? Oh yeah. There's work to be done, that's what's worked for me. Two things I've found necessary.

1. I had to Learn the NoFap Program.

2. Getting involved with the community on here was vital to help my recovery.

Learn the NoFap Program
The resources listed on the "New Users: List of Rebooting Resources" helped me find my way around the reasons behind the program and the terms used.

They are:

• Download the free Getting Started guide.
  
  
• Set up a PMO-Counter Badge. More info here!
  
  
• Basic introduction to the science of porn addiction!
  
  
• Basic information about rebooting and how our challenges can help you recover from PMO. This is the most important page to read. If you only can read one page, read this one.
  
  
• About NoFap.
  
  
• Watch this video - it is an epic intro resource if you want to get particular details about porn addiction and how it changes how your brain works.
  
  
• This is a good light-weight video about porn addiction.
  
  
• Read through the journal sections and see what other rebooters have experienced. It is good to know what to expect, otherwise the "chaser effect", "the surge", or the "flatline" might throw you off.
  
  
• If you come across vocabulary that you can't understand, check out our rebooting glossary of terms.
  
  
• GET ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR HABITS! Sign up for a peer accountability partner. Otherwise if you want more professional-hosted solutions, check out NoFap Premium or Reboot Camp. If you can afford to invest in yourself, these are great options.
  

You can find this same list on the top of the forum you posted this message on at - the "New to NoFap" forum.

Get Involved with the Community
The community has been my lifeline. I've found journals I love, people who are very supportive and a place where I could get to work helping in a small way others.

Remember, I'm just a normal user with no magic powers. But, I can:

• Read Journals, and comment when I have ESH
  
  
• Find people I admire and stay in touch via their profiles
  
  
• Pick a forum and make sure every post gets and answer. I can't answer them all, but that's good - different opinions make for a better group.
  
  
• Post in my journal (I could be better at it - but I do milestone posts at least) To make a journal go to the section listed by age and start one. Keep all your journal posts in one thread. But, for random thoughts, you can create a new thread.
  

Looking forward to seeing you around on the forums,

--> L

PS – I Think of pmo like a wolf. If I Stay near the center of the group with the winners the wolf has a more difficult time finding me. But, stray near the edges of the community by not working my program and the wolf can pick me off.

 

For me NoFap is 1/2 program & 1/2 fellowship.

Click on these people and post a "hello" on their profiles.

I've found that the bricks that hold this community together are cemented with the support of the members of the fellowship.

@Mr.Imperfect
@Inqonyama
@Toughboy
@romlel
@LeoJohn
@Gray Wolf
@StarLightReboot
@Chriss27
@ludwig525
@hoping_cannon
@SteelshoT
@reystronaut
@2525

Look at with whom they exchange messages and you will find more profiles.

So, if you would have found more profiles yourself, why suggest these particular ones as a start? Those relationships started with just saying hello. So, my ESH is that saying hello has kept the fellowship alive for myself.

Looking forward to your success and in seeing you say hello on these profiles,

--> L

 

Hi thelyokotree! Welcome to NoFap. I started to escalate to non-straight porn whenever i looked at straight porn. I find this more difficult to say even in recovery community than just saying I was addicted to straight porn. I don't know how I feel about the non-straight porn, as in, what it says about my orientation. I was still always interested in females as well so I think I have a chance to encourage myself to stay that way. Some people said Sexual Orientation isn't a choice but I think I have a choice.

So I appreciate your post. I imagine more people have this in common but keep it a secret. Its hard to recover with secrets though (I think).

Thats the good thing about a message board. The whole world doesn't have to know of something I don't want them to. But I can post it somewhere where it might be more helpful or understood.

So thanks for your honesty and the courage to share it.

 

One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals. Reading other's stories with their victories and even defeats is a big part of my program.

I've included journals from all age groups, spiritual members, religious members, secular members, male and female. You should find journals that help. If not, look around, there are hundreds of others from which to choose. When I say "it works if you work it", reading journals is part of that work.

Once you open a journal, click "Watch Thread" in the upper right of the page to get alerts when new posts are made. Here are just a few:


@Barry Barnstein - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/138399/
---
@Freedom Fighter - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/144710/
---
@mankiam33 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/164671/
---
@Inqonyama - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/166981/
---
@bartbar - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/163785/
---
@Alikersantti - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/155162/
---
@Reverent - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143845/
---
@BigDawg913 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/145872/
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@kropo82 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/78164/
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@tet2vd - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/144513/
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@Protagoras - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/109842/
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@JakeO5 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/152940/
---

There are many more, and you can discover them on your own. But, these are great places to start.

This is a work in progress. So, if a journal has changed or is no longer active, look around there are some amazing journals on here.

--> L

PS - Starting a journal also helped me a great deal.

The journals are listed by age groups on the forum start page.

Most members run one journal only. That way both the member and others can go back and look at their journey at a later time.

Hope to read your journal soon. Also, in your personal details you can put a link to your journal. Then, appears under your avatar.

-

 

Hi, and welcome to #NoFap. I recently started on this journey as well and am hoping that it clears my mind too. I've watched different kind of porn as well. I've noticed my friends who are successful with girls and relationships are the ones who aren't addicted to porn.

I think all of us have the capability to be bisexual (on a Kinsey Scale) but what we choose to do, program our brain, meet the kind of people we meet helps us find and maintain our sexual interest paradigm.

I've been attracted to some males as a form of fantasy as well. Here's my story.

In the end if you feel you're gay or straight or bisexual after doing PMO, that's it. Make the choice that makes you happy.

Following you so that we can go on this journey together.

 

Welcome to the Nofap-community. The NO PMO journey is not easy but worth the effort. The community will support you.

Looks like you are bisexual or gay and everything is fine. Accept yourself, like yourself, love yourself.
Most important: you are alive! You came into this world not to choose this kind of porn or another kind of porn. You are longing for true happiness.

“Make the choice that makes you happy.” GREAT!

Sexual abstinence may bring us closer to the happiness we are looking for. This must not be celibacy for the rest of my life but for some time which helps be to break the habits and get rid of addiction.

 

Hey @thelyokotree ,

My experience is that having a few 24 hours in a row put together helps when making decisions. I've was told by members with lots of clean and sober time that I should not make any major decisions for the first year of sobriety.

--> L

 

Hey there!

Welcome here!.

I read your post with interest and I can say, firstly good for you to want gaining some self control over impulses to watch porn, if that disturbs you.

On other hand, I think porn itself is wrong, and getting hooked on that is where the problem lies. Personally, I consider myself a bisexual man, I enjoy gay porn and hetero sex as well (maybe this later little less, I confess), and have gone through that for many years.

My problem is porn itself in mani fashions, that is what I try to fight.

After many doubts and hesitations, my therapist led me to accept this bisex nature (in fact a way of being shared by millions and millions -see the Mc Kinsey report--)


Do not be afraid of finding your nature, PMO and gay-Bi-Hetero nature are different things.

Welcome again

 

I'm glad this discussion takes place in a healthy environment like this. One of the reasons for me for getting into NoFap was that some weeks earlier I reached a dangerous place. I was in a bussiness trip, I felt big urges and, for the first time, downloaded the Grindr app and arranged an encounter with another man. By fortune, this encounter never took place, but I was very worried after that because all the implications that this would have had in my life.

Spoiler

It all started with my wife (then girlfriend), when we tried anal sex. I was so hooked up to that, it felt so great, that I wanted to repeat it every time possible. With time, my wife wasn't so willing to practice it, but I still wanted it like crazy. So I began watching exclusively straight porn with anal action included. With time, this wasn't enough and began watching transexual and then gay porn, you know, because there's only one option there.

I masturbated 2 or 3 times a day everyday, watching straight porn; and once or twice a week watching some gay porn. This was like this for almost 2 years until the incident with Grindr happened. Now I'm banishing porn from my life for good.

So, as you see, some times we don't choose the path, just let our brain to follow automatically what it identifies as the easier one.

So try to visualize the path before walking into it. At least, that is what I'll try to do.

Welcome to the community

 

Yes, Byeoldfriend, you are right. That anal thing is something we can get hooked in too easily. It happened to me that I enjoy it (actively) and well, have had a few intercourses in my past life... the problem is that is another thing to fight against and doubles the chances to fall... I could not say I deeply regret trying it, in fact, I see it as a stage in my sex life, and I hope that was it.

I once suggested it to my wife and got a definitely NO that banned me from asking it again, so never tried... In any case doing it to wife has not the same excitement, that is why this is so dangerous for our addiction

It also happened to me that I ended masturbating watching anal porn and then gay porn and orgies...and yes, I also unloaded grindr in my cell phone but managed to eliminate it.... God, this is a winding road!!!

 

Spoiler: Quote from Above Might Trigger

It all started with my wife (then girlfriend), when we tried anal sex. I was so hooked up to that, it felt so great, that I wanted to repeat it every time possible. With time, my wife wasn't so willing to practice it, but I still wanted it like crazy. So I began watching exclusively straight porn with anal action included. With time, this wasn't enough and began watching transexual and then gay porn, you know, because there's only one option there.

I masturbated 2 or 3 times a day everyday, watching straight porn; and once or twice a week watching some gay porn. This was like this for almost 2 years until the incident with Grindr happened. Now I'm banishing porn from my life for good.

Hey @byeoldfriend ,

To be safe graphic descriptions of sexual acts should be put in spoilers with a vague but understandable title.

To create a spoiler for triggers, click the + sign in the text box where you type your message. Then, put a title for the spoiler and it will let you create the text in between the [] and [/] boxes.

It's not a huge deal, but better safe than sorry.

--> L

 

Yes, guilt is a big problem because one can not stop JO, feeling unable to control the urges, and on the other hand each time one fapps, the guilty feeling arises as a punisher, and that only causes anxiety and anguish. Being in a Site like this really HELPS to control the urges, and even when one fails (that can happen) one learns about self-forgiveness. That is what I like about this place (besides the good friends and pieces of advice)