[TRIGGER] Thinking of buying pantyhose and living out fantasies as I'm moving out

I've given up. I will never feel a woman's foot covered in nylon in my hands. I will never experience anything. No fetishes, no fantasies, not even sex touch kisses hugs. Nothing. So why bother if I'm not destined for this? I will just focus on other stuff with that extra time and energy.

 

I've got two important realizations:

1. I won't buy pantyhose to live out my fetish, because I would not feel satisfied. How? Because I'd need to shave my legs, and become "as feminine as possible" at least in the lower half of my body. And because this is quite expensive (and inconvenient, like how should I explain why I'm suddenly shaving my leg hair or how to hide colored nails), I won't do it. Basically I'm just doing it because I don't have a female partner.
2. The reason for this fetish could be that I seem to have the opposite of claustrophobia. I like tight places, and wearing a pantyhose is tight so to speak. It makes me comfortable and it relaxes my mind (it's like going to sleep).