Transexual porn addiction

Where your willpower dude? Willpower is the thing makes chilld be man. So, be a man and get some willpower just quit that shit. Dont wank and watch that sick porn anymore, go out and find a "real girl". Are you whimpering like a child? Cmon you are 29 man!

 

Welcome to the community.
Read, learn and ask questions.
What you described is quite common with porn issues. You can beat this problem.
As you read and learn start making your plan.

 

Despite what anyone says we all are on here trying to beat this addiction you realize now that porn isn’t doing anything for you but bringing shame and now is the time to stop. I’m about to turn 29 and I stopped when I was 27 and continue to keep fighting.I got into transporn as well and knew this wasn’t right because I never had these feelings or desires before using porn. You have to find reason to quit for your self and nobody else and never look back. I did it for my faith and to better myself in areas of life I was ignoring or too anxious to improve. This first step is awareness you need to become a part of your own rescue the journey starts by getting rid of all porn and masturbation and you will have more clarity you can do this just need to take the steps in the right direction

 

You are not pathetic. Some people, however, will have different ways of trying to motivate you. Take the small steps. Sometimes you will go backwards but hopefully overall you will go forward. Well done for starting this process.

 

Is not this section of threads not for porn addiction?

 

Please refer to here
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?forums/porn-addiction.15/

 

Trans porn is a very common stop in the porn addiction cycle. As it has been stated here repeatedly, it does *not* mean that you are gay or bisexual. You are *not* pathetic and you should not let this define you nor bring you down. This is just what porn addiction does; like a drug addiction, one builds tolerance for the usual dosage and one is compelled to seek out an elevated and more intense hit each and every single time. That being said, it should be apparent to you that you have stumbled upon an extremely insidious and potentially psychologically damaging genre of porn; almost the pure heroin of the porn world. We should do everything in our power to completely stay away from this particular area of porn, as well as porn in general, and let our minds heal and be open once again to activities that can bring us genuine fulfillment and happiness.

 

I have the same problem OP I'm 28 and it started when I was 17 by chance. I started on porn with women. In 2008 which,was a few years after I accidentally came across transsexual porn. The funny thing is I new about ts before this, but it just didn't affect me at all. I even once sent a pic of a ts to my friend as a joke and thought nothing of it, now I'd probably find th hot. I thought in my mind that oh no this might be gay(when I saw by accident in 2008) but felt a huge sexual rush at the same time. I barely looked at any porn with women since.

It started with ts only that were really convincing and had boobs etc etc, eventually I started to not mind crossdressers or transvestite if they were convincing. Then after that occasionally the odd guys if they looked 'feminine' enough with a round ass etc, usually Asian.

But when I'm sober I never want that stuff. I'm.generally quite religious I can't get the feeling away that as a straight guy its all perverted in someway. I just wanna clarify I have no ill feelings to transgenders or guys that are happy to openly go along with their attraction for them. But for me personally this idea that something is off with it as a straight and traditional minded guy. Having said all this its pretty much just straight guys who are into ts. I've pretty much accepted that maybe I'll always be turned on by them, but can get to a place where I don't act on it.

I feel obsessed over it, I get way more aroused over them than women because if the perceived taboo, like 100 times more. I feel like the obsession over that and the guilt is making it hard to stop. I like to be 'top' with them and would never touch their dick, but prefer pre op with penis for that obsessive taboo feeling, which I think is the source of my issue. Like i feel guilty but really turned on at the same time.

I've been fighting it for about 10 years now, at times I almost considered giving up and just openly getting a Ts gf, but there's a part of me which just won't allow it.

I've often stayed in monastic situations where I did NoFap for 6 months at a time without thinking of any of this. I went 2 years with NoFap or any sexual activity, it feels amazing, but then had a major relapse. Basically although I used to fap over ts porn I had a conviction not to do it for real. After the 2 years NoFap the horny feelings got really intense and I suddenly felt like I wanted a ts for real. I started going on hook up sites but resisting as much as I could. I had many oppurtunities to meet them and deleted my account many times after coming to my senses. I would then end up re opening, after about a year of this I gave in and met an crossdresser for a bj. I felt awful and promised it was all over. But then a few months later ended up meeting a ts and going all the way. This has gone on about 3 years now but thankfully I met only a hand full. Some I would just delete my account when given the chance to meet. There's also been quite a few where I just left when I got there, as I realized how manly they looked. I only did stuff with a few so far. But there was one who I got a bj and I especially regret as they looked manly but for some reason went ahead with it.

This particular meeting has made me feel really messed up as I met them somewhere near my friends house one morning and it just feels traumatizing for that reason.

Because of this I started feeling really guilty and also anxious to be with a female as I like women of course. I soon got really desperate and went to a female escort. I promised myself that would be it. But the next day I was just feeling more horny and started browsing escorts again, by chance I saw a transsexual escort. They were just like in the vids I used to fap over,I then got an idea that I really wanted to meet a proper hot ts so I ended up meeting. To be honest it did feel really good and they looked hot, like no straight guy would know it was a ts. But I felt like crap after. I feel really ashamed of all this and messed up, I've never had gf in fact.

I feel really paranoid about stds even though I've only had sexual contact with sa handful of people and used condoms. My plan is to stop all this and find a good gf/wife, but feel a lot of guilt over all this stuff. Also I'm worried that although I'm well meaning, I might get tempted again and wanna meet a ts again for sex, as the ts porn I looked at for many years has given a really deep impression. However I almost never look at porn now and fap rarely.

 

I am facing the same situation, I am away from TS porn for 36 days but I still crave it, last night I had a dream in which I got in contact with an escort, my brain still wants it because it is a free and quick pleasure, but we have to be strong and resist, bro. To me it escalated to escorts, porn is not a big deal for me, but I became addicted to sex with TS's. If we ever want change we have to have faith in ourselves and also accept our weakness and not punish ourselves over it.

Be strong, bro.

 

Good, clear thought. You have an addiction to the chemicals in your brain that get released when you think in a certain way.
Choose to do something else. Put the dick down. Listen to Scriabin. Or Bach...
Eat well, exercise, chat to the old lady up the street that you know will be nice to you...

 

Thanks for the support, bro. It is a path not worth following, it leads to nowhere but empty fleeting pleasures...
Good luck on your journey too.

 

thanks for sharing, it is a really strong addiction. I realised I can't help finding them attractive but believe I can stop acting on it. I have sometimes found being too harsh on myself ends in a backlash somehow, if I screw up I find I just need to try and engage my mind in other things and automatically I don't think about Ts. Problem with me is getting triggered really easily like if I see a ts by accident somewhere.

I feel this would be resolved fully if I get a female gf.

 

Yes, one of the worst addictions. One has to realize that it's *a complete trap* and develop some degree of disgust for it in order to abstain long-term. The fact that ts people are gradually working their way into the mainstream makes it all the more insidious. Being continually on guard and recognizing exactly what sets you off are the first steps in knowing how to combat this particular addiction. Also, please do not think a gf will fully resolve this issue. Many of us here are in relationships with women or have had our fair share and *still* have come back to this genre time and time again. It's a long-term, continual battle and we can never become complacent.

 

Dude why be negative "stil have come back" ? If u determined no comeback that it.

 

Welcome brother. Trans porn is what I was giving me problems. I don't have time right now, got a meeting to attend, but I will get back to you with some advice and words of encouragement.

 

thanks for your reply, this might sound odd however its the 'disguist' which made it more alluring and turned to an obsession. Having said that I do feel I've improved and the obsession has somewhat lessened. Also I agree that gf won't magic it away, although I feel it will help a lot. But sometimes I worry even then ill still think about ts sometimes.

I'm approaching two-week clean now no fapping or any porn. Admittedly I have looked at a few.pics on Instagram, but need to avoid that as it often ends up at square one if I keep 'just looking at pics'

You mentioned coming back time and time again, which is exactly what I'm experiencing. But I feel sick of it sometimes, I really want it to be over for good but I keep going back eventually. Although I don't plan to I do worry I may end up getting tempted again. That's why I've sometimes had moments where I thought ill just give in and be open about it, I've not told any friend or family member. Having said that even if I do screw up again I just have to keep trying I guess, but I don't want it to be another 10 years of this.

 

Dude take the goal of 90 days start with this(or maybie 21 chalnge start withe a small process and gain the days) , evrytime that pop up urge, tell yorself im in the mode 90 days
And no metter what i dont fail, yeah its gonna be hard sometimes, but u must belive yourself no one can do it for you onley you get the decision.
I am religion so when i got hard urge i am talk to god and pray for help.

And sugest you abstain from ALL the social media. Yeah very importent. Cuse our mind is tricky
Try Ocupied the day if you work, study practice gym, do some habbit you like that promot you very importent
Remeber always we got ups and down strugle, and yes im on 64 day and i got some bad mood and all this sheet day, but i know its will be better, we must BELIVE and hope for good we got the POWER.

Sorry about my poor English

Tack care.