Too Non-Christian to Date a Christian and Too Christian to Date a Non-Christian

I'll tell you what I personally want in my next relationship and maybe that'll give you some perspective. My pastor said a while back in a sermon about dating that, "You should be looking for someone that is chasing so hard after God, it makes you chase after Him that much more to get to them." It sounds like you're on a bit of a faith journey right now. As a follower of Jesus, I've had to be careful to not put dating above my relationship with God (or letting it become an idol). I'm not sure what that looks like to you but if you're a believer, I'd definitely advise against dating a non-believer as beliefs are a very important thing to have common ground on in a relationship. If you want to talk more about that with someone who's a more recent convert and can still somewhat see through the lens of that unsure or skeptic, feel free to PM me! Anywho, wish you the best in your reboot!

 

Hey man this may be a bit off topic, but I'd like to share my views on your issue with religion, hopefully I can provide some insight.

What really amazes me is the amount of denominations of Christianity in the world. Catholics believing that you must pray in a certain way and cleanse your sins in a certain way, seventh day adventists believing you must follow a vegan diet etc.

Now this really disappoints me, because this shows how Christians have missed the point of resurrection. All these denominations trying to find different ways to pursue God - they have it backwards!!! This is the flaw in “religion", it's a system where we humans come together and follow a system or set rules to find favour with God, but Jesus has already died on the cross for us.. We have already been saved! As long as you believe in jesus and accept him as your saviour, you're bound to receive eternal life.

A YouTube video my lifegroup leader showed me 5 years ago has really stuck to me, it's called “why I hate religion but love jesus". My favourite quote in this song, was “religion is man searching for God. Christianity is God searching for man". This could not be anymore true my friend, in the end there is no such thing as “strong" or “weak" Christians. It's just whether you've accepted jesus within your heart, and where you'd placed your heart.

 

why not just meet people in real life. Get on a course, start dancing, anything to get yourself out in the real world.

Everything is a spectrum, and i am certain you will find someone you are compatible with.

This is my main issue with online dating it's just too black and white. Just because someone puts on their profile about being a dedicated Christian who will condemn you to hell etc. They may not be like that in real life.

I am not a huge fan on online stuff, never worked for me, so i guess i am slightly biased.

 

As an ex-Christian turned follower of Hinduism, do you want to know what I think? I think that you should be guided by the principle that "like attracts like." Wherever you sit on the spectrum of religions, there is bound to be a woman out there you can not only relate to but fall in love with. Good luck!

 

@Surfing Poet I feel like I relate with you brother. I'm in a similar boat, but have no idea on whether my NoFap journey will change who I will be interested in the future. I'm considering on just working on myself and on grad school and hoping more personal development will give me some clarity. Maybe we can both figure out our paths in regards to relationships together bro! Would love to keep following up with you and see how we're doing on our NoFap journeys!

 

I respect that you have strong ideals, but I think you are overthinking it. If you truly connect with someone its an equal partnership and you will be able to mutually figure things out. If you find the right person, you will be able to love one another and respect each others personal attributes even if they are different. That being said, I don't think it is at all uncommon for women to have less strict religious beliefs and be willing to wait before having sex. In fact, those values will likely help you out.

 

Christian here... date someone who IS wiling to live out their faith. Dating a non-Christian is a dead-end street for both people involved.

 

My mum is zealot catholic, my father is total atheist. They are together over 30 years and it seems to be working. You dont need faith, you only need to respect the other the way he/she is.

You were saying something?

 

You're half christian and half atheist. Does that make you an agnostic?

 

No I was full christian until 7 years old and full atheist afterwards. Thanks god.

 

I guess it depends on how important these things are to you. I'm very spiritual and would prefer dating a spiritual person - which I currently am - but none of us adhere to any religion. I personally don't care if the one I'm dating is religious, as long as the teachings wouldn't be in direct opposition to my own core beliefs and values and blah blah.
I also have several non-religious and non-spiritual friends with very religious SOs, but it's not a problem as their core values complement each other anyway.

 

Thanks for that, it helps me a lot!

 

This is just my opinion, of course, but I'm always right!

Anyway... Some others have already touched on this in their comments. But here we go:

We don't date or marry religions. We date or marry PEOPLE. More than enough damage has been done over the millennia by dividing humanity up over religions that only differ in their external characteristics - which collection of words are used, which rituals, which calendars, which labels, etc. "God" doesn't care. He/She/It is appalled at all of this. What matters is that you seek some spiritual connection with whatever vision you have of God, and that your life reflects love and wisdom. (And who has more wisdom than we, here, have so painfully gained!)

Get to know potential partners as PEOPLE. Get to know whether or not they are loving, kind, patient, gentle, etc. Get to know their habits of life, and whether those habits mesh with your own - and on the basis of values, not labels. There are plenty of devout assholes in every denomination of every faith or non-faith. Similarly, there are plenty of wonderful people. Find some wonderful people. The religion thing will work itself out.

I don't mean to sound preachy. I just feel that all of us place needless roadblocks in our own paths.

Doc