This challenge is completed by all or none! [CLOSED]

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by Rising Force, Jun 25, 2019.

  1. Rising Force

    Rising Force Fapstronaut

    I want to create a new kind of challenge which hopefully helps the participants find a good mix of peer support and liability.

    I'm looking for 5-10 participants to join a 50 days no PM challenge. The difference to a normal challenge is that it's completed by either all or none of the participants. If any one of the members makes a reset, the challenge is failed (and the thread is deleted).

    Resets are being made so much here that it looks like we were indifferent. This can't be the best we can do. It also seems that, after multiple failures, it's a lot harder to find the same motivation for the same challenges as in the beginning. That's why new ideas are needed.

    The most important thing is that you don't betray yourself. Perhaps it's easier to remember this if you don't want to let down others.

    If you are determined to succeed, join in, and I will add you to the participants list.
     
  2. Rising Force

    Rising Force Fapstronaut

    Participants:
    (No new members, as the challenge has already started.)

    @Rising Force
    @control your life
    @StraightEdge3616
    @Awedouble
    @Saiyan123
    @Cel mai drept ideal
    @CADiver
    @optimum
    @Jerky

    Rules:

    A reset by any of the members, and the game is over. The participants are expected to turn up every day, unless they inform others beforehand that they can't do that temporarily. Also, make sure to come here to communicate your need for support, so the others have a chance to help you keep on track. Reach out for the members who haven't been seen for a while. No one is left alone!

    Each day one of the participants is responsible for the post of the day in the challenge. This is a free form post about anything you think is relevant or interesting. No pressure for the length, or anything. Just raise some discussion and interaction. The turns for this are agreed on as we proceed.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2019 at 4:03 AM
  3. control your life

    control your life Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

  4. Rising Force

    Rising Force Fapstronaut

    That's nice! We need more people here so that we can start the challenge.
     
  5. StraightEdge3616

    StraightEdge3616 Fapstronaut

    I'm in.

    This challenge seems super intimidating and scary, but it's probably what I need to try. Great idea.
     
  6. Rising Force

    Rising Force Fapstronaut

    It kind of is, but I'm excited to see how it will turn out. It's easy to fool yourself, but how about others?
     
  7. StraightEdge3616

    StraightEdge3616 Fapstronaut

    I haven't joined a lot of challenges in the past but I've never seen one like this. Has there been one like this before?

    It's real unique, I like it.
     
  8. Rising Force

    Rising Force Fapstronaut

    No, not that I know of, at least.
     
  9. StraightEdge3616

    StraightEdge3616 Fapstronaut

    I relayed this challenge idea to a friend and he thought it possibly could be a bad idea that would encourage participants to lie if they mess up, in order for the whole challenge not to be failed. Thoughts on that? Not saying I agree with the assessment, just wanted to throw it out there.
     
    Cel mai drept ideal likes this.
  10. Rising Force

    Rising Force Fapstronaut

    That's an important point, and I thought about it as well.

    The core idea of the challenge is to create an extra layer of liability, combined with others working for the same goal. I certainly don't want to fool others. And I hope that staying true to others simultaneously works as a trick to stop me fooling myself, which otherwise seems to be so difficult to do.

    How do we know that the others won't lie? We don't know.

    I think this is about how much you believe the challenge will help you. If somebody thinks this is a bad idea, that's fine. But that person shouldn't take the challenge, then. Simple as that.
     
  11. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    You can count on me too. More later..
     
  12. Rising Force

    Rising Force Fapstronaut

    Awesome!
     
  13. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    One thought I had was anonymity of who in the group may have had to reset. It is understandable that people who feel they 1. have a reputation here and 2. guilt for letting the group down, would have reservations about it. It's essential that everyone is supportive of each other, we all know how bad you can feel all by yourself. The important thing is we learn from it.

    This of course means we would have private communication outside of this thread, and someone simply posts the group is resetting when it happens.

    It seems to me the point of a challenge like this is teamwork and cooperation instead of the competitive dynamic of blaming any one individual. There will always be one that has a harder time than others, those of us who may be doing better can use it as an opportunity to see how we can be a supportive member.

    For me this goes right in line with the bodhisattva ideal in Buddhism, if anyone is familiar. There's no time limit so it would end up being a vow to help the member(s) who may be having a harder time. If we can help someone else we can do it for ourselves.
     
    Cel mai drept ideal likes this.
  14. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    In addition to the above on the lying/anonymity thing: If more than one member of the group does not keep a counter it could also be helpful for that reason. And just think: If someone DOES keep a counter and doesn't mind saying publically they reset then you gotta respect that. If someone already does this on their own they may not mind doing it as part of the group.

    ----

    So even if we still want to get a few more members it isn't too early to look at some practical stuff.

    In general, I recommend everyone have a plan and that plan includes other self improvement stuff which you can track as streaks. It could be like if you are so busy trying to make those work, (and it would be worthwhile stuff anyway) even if those don't hold they serve to protect the PMO/PM streak so in a way it's your safety net. Chances are you're not going to break every single one of them all at once and since they all serve to support the no PMO goal, even if you're hanging by a thread there's still SOME kind of support. It just makes it harder to fail because you'd fail those first. I have a list of challenges that I keep updated in my signature tagline, as an example.

    Communication is huge, I would offer to have a voice conversation 20 minutes with each member to start with. Being more personal it makes it more real, it doesn't matter what platform we use (though I prefer app-less or something compatible with Kindle Fire even if it's a Google store one) and it could be one on one or a group conference kind of thing.

    And being open for anyone to join is also a huge thing, that means anyone including those who cannot hold a streak of more than a few days are welcome, there just have to be a willingness to try.
     
    Cel mai drept ideal likes this.
  15. Rising Force

    Rising Force Fapstronaut

    Thanks @Awedouble for your thoughts. We have time to do some brainstorming on the rules and practicalities.

    For me, it's very important that whenever the participants are feeling temptations to give in, they come to this thread and communicate it. Then all the others have a chance to give support and help. Otherwise it's going to be just a book keeping thread.

    I personally would prefer having the communications simply in this thread by default. However, I do respect your generous offer to support others, @Awedouble. If two people want to discuss privately, they are obviously free to do that.

    Regarding the anonymous communication of possible resets, I think it slightly misses the point of the challenge. By participating, you take a certain risk of being the one who ends it, and being open about it. The key thing for everyone to think about is whether I believe this is going to help me.

    Obviously, if someone does make a reset, the others must accept this as well, and be supportive nevertheless. Whatever comes, we have to learn about it.
     
    Cel mai drept ideal likes this.
  16. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    I think there's also the possibility that private communication ends up being a bunch of hand holding too, and does not necessarily help people reboot. Now that I think about it, suppose a female member wants to join - that would obviously make one on one private conversation a little bit iffy. With the entire forum witnessing the challenge in its entirety inappropriate dynamics is far less likely to happen.

    Yes of course the social responsibility is a part of it and is a motivator, and when I wrote that I also thought of the possibility that any given person may opt-out of the challenge. It is fine if they simply decide it's not for them and continue with reboot efforts in other ways, but hopefully it is not due to discouragement and demoralization. There's also the possibility that people may simply disappear, it happens on this forum in general every so often. As far as that possibility goes, obviously we want to encourage people to communicate what is going on as you already said, but in the event that it happens we might need to have some kind of time frame like if we don't hear from said person for a week then we consider them as abandoning the challenge? After all with that particular possibility the challenge will never complete if we never hear from them again.

    Overall I do think it's a good idea since it is more serious, the group effort puts us beyond self concern only and it being a public thread witnessed by the entire community has a certain positive peer pressure. Those who may be struggling know others in the group are also invested in their success just by virtue of how it's set up, though I hope in time people get that others genuinely care about their success and it's not just about completing a challenge, rather the very idea of the challenge comes out of caring about everyone succeeding in the first place.
     
    Cel mai drept ideal likes this.
  17. Rising Force

    Rising Force Fapstronaut

    Should we start soon even if there will be no new participants? We don't need too many of them anyway.
     
    Cel mai drept ideal likes this.
  18. Saiyan123

    Saiyan123 Fapstronaut

    I'm up for joining. I won't let you all down.
     
  19. Rising Force

    Rising Force Fapstronaut

    Good!

    I think we could start once everyone is aware of it. Could you confirm that? But before we do, have you got any more ideas for the rules and practicalities?

    Since we are going to have a common counter for this challenge, I thought we could have somebody posting "the official" post of the day, and take turns on that. It could be about anything you think is relevant and interesting, and nothing too fancy if you like.
     
  20. Saiyan123

    Saiyan123 Fapstronaut

    I like the official post idea, once we reach milestones like 30, 60, 90 days or every 10 days idk, we post techniques of abstaining maybe?
     
    Cel mai drept ideal likes this.

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