The Way of Harmony

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Mark, Dec 24, 2013.

  1. jbanth77

    jbanth77 Fapstronaut

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    Enjoyed reading your posts, jiltedjohn. In my new beginning, I'm beginning to realise more and more the relationship between the redirection of energy as opposed to the denial, or suppressing of it. Perhaps in the same way as selecting which foods to take into one's system, we can choose that which we know is healthy and beneficial or that which may give us short term pleasure but lead to unwanted results. However, it does not seems to be of much help to deny that one is hungry.

    Similarly, we have the urge to expend energy to achieve a satisfying result. Now, we can select the short-term PMO model, with all its unwanted side-effects, or we can re-direct ourselves to healthier activities such as creativity, exercise, meditation, etc.. Although perhaps not as immediately appealing as PMO, or even MO, once we begin any positively-oriented activity, it seems to carry us forward with a momentum that we simply need to allow to flow through us.

    Mind, body and soul. We let our soul, or highest aspect, take the lead, which it seems many of us on this site are already doing, let it direct our minds to deeper understanding and wisdom, and finally allow our physical nature to undergo a truly satisfying transformation

    Keep posting and inspiring!
     
  2. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Cheers mate. I hope things are going well for you? :)
     
  3. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Resistance is the opposite of being receptive and it is so important to be open to new ideas if we are to change and move forward because, as Albert Einstein once observed, "You will not solve a problem using the same thinking that created it in the first place."
     
  4. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    "Man is still bullied about by his biological urges. When man is complete, and has truly integrated his still clumsy body with his mind and spirit, his total freedom of spiritual being is beyond the control of the biological instinct. This does not violate the physical laws of the universe; it simply postulates that we are beings with the inherent power to cultivate our energy to a level of power where it allows us to direct our bodies freely. It is not mind over matter, as that implies a battle. It is more mind inside matter. The revelations of mind have allowed us to create nuclear bombs, so why not use mind to direct its own body which is immediately at hand? " ~ Mantak Chia from the book 'Taoist Secrets of Love. Cultivating male Sexual Energy.'
     
  5. andy.k.nath

    andy.k.nath Fapstronaut

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    Great thread!

    I love your initial postulation. Redirecting any energy so it can create more positive outcomes is such a simple, yet elegant concept.

    When meditating, this is the essence to harnessing the immense power of the mind - when the mind is distracted, to accept that distraction and slowly redirect the mind back to stillness is an art (one I am still a long way from mastering :))

    Let me tell you some context to why this moves me so deeply:
    Your post has reminded me that anger is not the only (supposedly negative) emotion we can harness for good... We should be able to do so with just about any energy! So THANK you for sharing this profound thought! I will use it in my quest!
     
  6. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    @andy

    That's a great story and I'm so glad you liked the post.
    I think what often puts people off meditation is the amount of 'effort' they bring to what is essentialy an effortless (activity-less) 'activity' and if only more people understood the chinese concept of wu wei (doing without doing/effortless effort) they wouldnt be so harsh on themselves?

    So in meditating, as in life (and indeed the way people approach medidation may well reflect the way they approach life?) its so important to simply 'notice', to let go of thoughts, letting them be, without striving or judging and remaining open to whatever happens etc?

    I see far too many people criticising themselves and beating themselves up for their perceived 'mistakes' when they might benefit so much more from being kinder to themselves (and others!) because such harshness creates rigidity and even though that can produce short term gain it usually creates problems further down the line.

    As the Tao Te Ching so often states soft, fluid, flexible etc are closer to life whereas rigid, hard, brittle are closer to death (and 'break' so much easier!)

    A favoutite quote of mine is from Woody Guthrie...

    "Take it easy, but take it"

    ...which contains the lovely/profound paradox that going easy on yourself (the soft approach) does not mean you are 'weak' etc as action that is full of intention, gentle perseverence, resolve etc are far more incisive than brute force in the LONG run and surely its long term benefits that really count (and obviously thats just my interpretation;))

    And I love this from Chuang Tsu...

    "Easy is right. Begin right and you are easy. Continue easy and you are right. The right way to go easy Is to forget the right way and forget that the going is easy."

    Take it easy!;)
     
  7. AlextheAccountant

    AlextheAccountant New Fapstronaut

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    Man this is like a lifeline to me. I love the way you present "The Way of Harmony". I've been trying to overcome this for two years now. I've bookmarked this, I really hope that I have the courage to turn to this instead of the instant gratification in the future.
     
  8. Markguy

    Markguy Fapstronaut

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    Just wanted to say thank you for the amazing wisdom on this and related threads. There is real insight here that my intuition knows to be true, and I'm hoping the rest of my mind will absorb.
     
  9. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Cheers chaps. I'm so glad this is helping. I'm experiencing some unusually tough times lately and reading this thread again has given me a boost so thanks for commenting on it!;) I'm reminded of a Zen saying "Black days along the way- dont despair! Stand up in praise of your misery" and of course your greatest 'teachers' are often disguised as your greatest 'problems'. Keep going :)
     
  10. john17727

    john17727 Fapstronaut

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    This is a nice way looking at it, going to try it for sure. Thanks mate.
     
  11. Peaceful Warrior

    Peaceful Warrior Fapstronaut

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    What an oustanding post! I nearly didn't find this, it should be highlighted in the fist page of the get educated thread imo
     
  12. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Hope it helps mate:)
     
  13. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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  14. PaulBaron

    PaulBaron Fapstronaut

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    The above helps.

    About changing habbits:
    The brain is like a forest. If the villagers have a route to the strem, that they use to get watter, then the well-used route gets comfortable. The trip to the streem takes 5 minutes. Their constant stepping prevents the growth of weed and trees. If one day a tree falls on the path, and it gets too hard to cross, the people find an alternative way. It's a hard way. At the beginning it takes half an hour. But with every time someone walks through the new route, he steps on the weeds, brakes a tree branch that disturbs... after two months the path widens, and the trip takes only 10 minutes. After half a year it's so comfortable that it takes 5 minutes. The old route is forgotten, covered with new vegetation.

    FAP is the old route.
    It's a route I decided to abandon. There's NO "fallen tree" in the way, but yet whenever I feel the thirsty and need to get to the stream (watter stands for relaxation, nice feelings, pleasure) It's not a fight to choose a different way. The new way is currently harder. I know. But part of the good feeling comes from the fact that I'm strong, and I'm creating a new path that is good for me.
    So I get up and do some pushups. Or talk with a friend.

    I think I'm now ready to avoid ANY masturbation. Not just porn. My wife says that if I set the bar the same place she does (masturbate to mental fantasy once in a while) - I shall be fine. But if a more drastic approach gets me faster to a condition where I react fully and rapidly to my women... I can do it.

    A long vacation is ahead of me. I have lots of things to do during this vacation. Repairs in my house. Studying. Physical activity to get me back in shape as 3 years ago, when I was at my best... It's my old route to take my time and PMO all day long when I have such a long vacation. It seems like I have an eternity - so what's the rush?
    I end up doing much less than on busy days, so the challange is to switch modes. Change the route. Wake up early although I have no pressing obligations. Do yoga every morning. Ride my bike. Fix something in the house. Do MORE instead of less. Don't postpone anything, don't waste my days.
     
  15. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Nice analogy Paul. It was a;ways going to be the more 'drastic' approach for me as I'm one of those people who finds it difficult to do anything in moderation (which is why I no longer drink/smoke etc which were my real addictions until six years ago when I gave them up completely). I don't know if your familiar with these ideas but they might be worth considering as they certainly helped/help me etc?
     
  16. PaulBaron

    PaulBaron Fapstronaut

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    My addiction is the screen. Not only pornwise.
     
  17. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Screen addiction certainly does seem to be on the increase (says me typing this whilst staring at a screen to you reading it from a screen!) Is difficult to imagine life without them and this addiction is so rampant it is more the norm
     
  18. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Just heard a record by Marina and the Diamonds and the line below really jumped out...

    "TV taught me how to feel now real life has no appeal"

    ...I wonder how many people can relate to this in our 'civilised' society (if they were honest enough and/or still capable of genuine critical thought?)

    Gandhi was once asked what he thought of western civilisation and he replied that he thought it was a good idea!
     
  19. Ramondo

    Ramondo Fapstronaut

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    What a great thread.

    It was a similar attitude that helped me to stop smoking more than 12 years ago; the realisation that my brain was playing a major trick on me - the feelgood from smoking was an illusion, the reality was, deep down I knew I didn't enjoy it. This made stopping much easier, I actually looked forward to stopping.

    For those that feel enslaved by their addictions, this is worth remembering.
     
  20. spaceguy

    spaceguy Fapstronaut

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    Out of curiosity how long did it take anyone in here to learn the taoist? I tried to pm bit can't seem to find it
     

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