The Journey of Blake

Yeah man I agree that playing games won't affect my dopamine level during sex. But I think gaming can also produce intense dopamine rushes that may cause a decrease in the number of dopamine receptors in our reward circuit, and thereby desensitise our reward circuit. So we will feel less motivated to do other things such as reading and studying, which does not raise our dopamine level as much as gaming does. It's like if I can choose to play games all day to maintain my dopamine level at 150%, I won't have the motivation to study as it only raises my dopamine level to 110%.

So I think dopamine fating is a good way to resensitise our reward circuit. So that we can focus on what's important in life instead of what gives us the most intense dopamine rush. And I think noPMO itself is a dopamine fasting for sexual pleasures. The rationale behind the two are identical: to starve our reward circuit so that it can react to important things in life better (self-improvement in terms of dopamine fasting; real sex in terms of noPMO). I think if we are doing noPMO, we might as well give dopamine fast a try.

 

Thanks for your encouragements man. I believe that I can heal, as long as I devote myself in noPMO.

 

Day 13 Note

• Urge:
  • One count. Contained by reading this thread: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/6-years-clean-rebooting-as-the-best-remedy.135983/ this is pure gold.
• Libido:
  • No morning wood when I woke up but got an erection after a minute or two thinking about my girl.
  • Two random boners at 80% hard.
• Productivity:
  • Sad to report that I'm getting addicted to the game lol. Been playing game most of the day. But I did do some planing for the next few days so hopefully I'll be able to enforce my plans.
• Mood:
  • Feeling good in general. But not happy about playing games too much today.
• Overall rating for the day:
  • 7/10
• Extra notes:
  • The thread I shared is epic. I strongly suggest fellow fapstronaunts to have a read. It's like the bible of nofap. Here's a quote from the thread about brainwash: 'Many brothers are aware of rebooting knowledge, what they lack is “brainwashing intensity”, if the intensity is inadequate the dosage will come out short and the results cannot be guaranteed. The reason to why the author is able to stay clean is because he is collecting rebooting material and thinking about rebooting every day. His mind is saturated with rebooting material and these material act as a firewall which separates PMO from himself'.
  • This is exactly what I meant by to keep reminding myself of the negativities of porn. Only by this way can we reinforce our dedication to nofap.

 

I don't have morning wood sometimes as well. But I'm sure if we stick to noPMO, everthing will get back to normal eventually. It's just a matter of time.

 

I am sad to report that I relapsed on day 15. Day 14 was all good but I did not check in because I facetimed my family and my girl late. And day 15 I relapsed to youtube video. After that I got extremely frustrated so I asked my friend for the passwords to my internet blocker and disabled websites filtering. And I relapsed again on the same day and the third time this morning. I am too ashamed to write anything right now. I'll check in tmr morning. Back to where I started.

 

Thanks man. I really appreciate your encouragements. I'll try to sleep it off and get back up tmr.

 

Day 1 Note

• Urge:
  • No craving for porn as I've enabled the content blocker and added youtube restriction. So there is no way for me to access porn.
  • Intense craving for games tho. I stopped playing games as well. Trying to focus on study.
• Libido:
  • 100% morning wood, which is not what I was expecting as I thought I'd go straight into a flatline after the relapse.
  • No random boner during the day tho.
• Productivity:
  • Not really productive. Brain fog is really bad. Having a hard time to concentrate. Getting disctracted easily.
• Mood:
  • Feeling not so good because of the relapse. A bit stressed out by study and work.
• Overall rating for the day:
  • 5/10
• Extra notes:
  • Four lessons learned from last relapse
    • daily check-in is a must
    • try to avoid sexy facetime with girlfriend
    • stop gaming for now as one of the reasons for my relapse was that I had a bad day gaming
    • stop wasting time on youtube as there are triggering videos on youtube

 

Relapsed again. Fraustrated and ashamed. But I'm not giving up.

 

I'm back from a crazy exam week. Now I'm on day 7 thanks to the parental control. Starting from tmr I should be able to check in daily again.

 

Day 8

Giving myself a break these days. Stayed at home and played games all day lol. It's a bit late now. Gotta go to sleep. Tmr will be a better day