The girl i met at work

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by itz_gioc, Apr 23, 2019.

  1. Dr.LoveLength

    Dr.LoveLength Fapstronaut

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    If she is openly flirting with men at work then she knows the relationship she is currently in wont survive the long distance and is probably wanting to let loose and explore the marketplace. Hence why he scared her off when he made it clear he wanted something serious. People rarely jump straight into another heavy relationship straight away.
     
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  2. EatCake

    EatCake Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, fuggit. Bang her out. Morals, wut?

     
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  3. Erokonsuma

    Erokonsuma New Fapstronaut

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    You had the balls man! I wouldn't even make the step myself, I envy you.
     
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  4. Dr. Mario

    Dr. Mario Fapstronaut

    "Try to lay girls who are already in a relationship, if they go along with it they're just proving the relationship won't work out" -Douchebag Chad

    Might as well just start flooding this forum with porn while we're at it! After all, anyone who responds to it by indulging and fapping is just proving that they weren't serious about this in the first place. Seriously, this dude's logic justifies ANY temptation. Go back to the snakepit you slithered out of.
     
  5. EatCake

    EatCake Fapstronaut

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    Imma girl. Flirting with men at work most likely means she's looking for attention, even more so if she's in a relationship. Girls looking for attention have insecurities. Insecurities stem from a couple of places but most likely she doesn't think highly of herself. All I'm saying is, why enable this chicks insecurities? Girls with insecurities use men to feel better. Be a friend but don't try & hook up with her/start a relationship. She clearly has some hurdles she needs to overcome before she's able to be an equal partner. It'd save them both some rough times.
     
  6. EatCake

    EatCake Fapstronaut

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    Yup. There's been an uptick on here from certain users promoting/encouraging behavior that is opposite of what others on here are trying to rid themselves of. The tips on how to score escorts, how to date multiple women while married & a father, etc. is repulsive. It's like a freaking fraternity lately. Gross.
     
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  7. Dr. Mario

    Dr. Mario Fapstronaut

    This guy is actually the first "chad" I've run into so far on this site. Then again, I haven't been super active...I did find one guy who unironically equates the Israeli-Palestinian conflict to the Armenian holocaust, but that's a completely different type of stupid.
     
  8. mcp8419

    mcp8419 Fapstronaut

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    I know how you feel man. I used to work at a drug store here in the UK, there was a girl I liked who was flirting with me, I flirted back giving compliments and we used to text every night and online chat in the days of MSN messenger after work was finished.
    On our Christmas work party at a local bar, we had a few drinks and she kissed me in front of all our colleagues, I couldn't believe it, I thought 'finally!' Then she went around the bar kissing random guys. WTF! I left her to it and I was really depressed when I left that night.
    The next day she apologised and said she was sorry that she led me on and how she doesn't see me more than friend. My co-workers said she was an attention seeker who does things like that to make herself feel better, which was probably true. She also had an on and off thing going on with her ex so maybe she was trying to make him feel jealous.

    From that experience I learned it's always a risk investing the time, energy and emotional or romantic feelings for a female in the workplace, especially if there's a good chance you'll be working with or seeing each other every day. But fair play for laying out your feelings if you felt you had to. Don't beat yourself up. It's done and just go with the flow and concentrate on your job. After some time you will wonder why the fuck did I spend so much time being worried about flashbacks that doesn't change anything. She will respect you for getting on with things and not expecting anything from her. Be polite but don't invest any more time or energy with her. Focus on your motivation and interests dude.
     
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  9. Before I start: Good for you for telling her. Guys need to be unafraid of being straightforward with women. Now we know that capability is within you. Be proud of that.

    Despite that, I can't say I'm surprised this is how it turned out since you still tried to pursue a girl who was already in a relationship. That's asking to be rejected (and for trouble). And if she accepted your feelings and reciprocated, would you want to be in a relationship with a girl who you stole away from another guy? What if she met a guy she liked more than you? Hypothetically, of course, since it looks like that's not going to happen. Her words.

    But since you have to see her 3 times a week, I don't think there's much you can do, but just be civil and respectful of her relationship with her boyfriend. Be nice and all that, but not too friendly and try to keep a healthy distance. Don't be that guy that tries to steal girls from men. That never ends well.
     
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  10. Damn. I've seen roaches with morals better than yours. Sheesh.
     
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  11. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    i will go aginst the popular opinion here:
    its not a good idea to tell your feelings to a woman in relationship, realy, please think about it deep.

    • obviously, its already immoral, you wouldnt want your gf to be aproached by other man wouldnt you?
    • leaving morality aside,she already recives emotional and physical atention from someone on a daily basis.
    • but no you, the single man, so now you sacrifice your reputation in the group for approaching a woman in relationship.
    • in the bottom line, it seems realy desperate, its like a poor man donating money for a rich guy.
    • she, as the one with love in her life, should have made the decision and ask you out, not the opposite.

      you gotta play your cards right brother, women come and go, erections come and go, you need to stay with yourself and with your actions and their consequences. so as a man, a single man, whatever, dont sacrifice your reputation and position for no women ever, do it always from a position which makes you look good, from a position where you dont need to compromise and show submission or "i let down of my ego for you babe", because it is not apreaciated, it is precived as neediness. make the impression that you have more than enough of the good stufs going for you, and the other one need to make an effort to move you from your wealth.

      people are atracted to those who are more succseful than them.
      people end up giving money more to rich people than to poor people.

      of course our hearts and morality is about love and respect.
      but the dating and mating world is like economy of interest demand and supply.
     
  12. Bale

    Bale Fapstronaut

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    @InnerFaith cynical but right on spot. Making compromises on my integrity as a man is what triggered a whole bunch of negative stuff that happened in my life. As much as I don't like the "way a man is supposed to be" pushed down on us, it's also worth realizing that society in general and women in particular have these unconscious expectations and calibrate their reactions based on our behavior.
     
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  13. Alaskamoose

    Alaskamoose Fapstronaut

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    Cudo’s on the streak bro ! I’m on day 24. You did the right thing telling her ur feelings; crazy for her to turn it around like that when she was so obvious with the vibes- maybe she narcissistic or sociopath ( not trying to judge her) but who does that? Some people feed off game playing because they have nothing else. Keep up the good work! Matt
     
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  14. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    i agree, women's expectations plays a strong part in forming our decisions and behaviours, we are in a real biological competition to get them to choose us.
    they expect us to provide them, because their life course is that of real neediness..
    to be a mother and all of that mess is one big needy project of debt and modern slavery for the parents.
    so, if she want to trap me into this life of debt and modern slavery called parenting and forming a family, to say goodbye to freedom,
    then she as a woman needs to make the better efort at the begining, because if i chose her i will make the effort for a lifetime.
    so this is for anyone who thinks he's "too beta" for a woman:
    you know what's more beta?
    to get pregnant, and then to get ditched and thrown away like a used pepsi can, and that is a real fear for any woman even a "rich girl".
    so keep that in mind when you deal with women, they are not impressed by neediness because that is already something they have and try to run away from by finding 'mister right'.
     
  15. Alaskamoose

    Alaskamoose Fapstronaut

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    Well said
     
    InnerFaith likes this.
  16. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    Please read Rollo Tomassi's The Rational Male. It should be required reading for every man.
     
  17. Dr. Mario

    Dr. Mario Fapstronaut

    Eugh. I've only got one life to live, I don't think I'm going to spend any of it on a book by a "leading" red-piller.
     
  18. Freeddom_Taker

    Freeddom_Taker Fapstronaut

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    Your coworkers are right on the money. If she said she had a boyfriend, move on like nothing happen. Either she get back to you or respect you and do nothing else. 2 scenario) as you already failed to state your intention early on, you put yourself in a friend zone position. All you could do was wait it out and slowly come out of the friend zone. Who knows the girl was using you as an emotional tampon or maybe she was keeping you as you were helping with work each time she asked you too.
     
    itz_gioc likes this.
  19. ClickClickBoom

    ClickClickBoom Fapstronaut

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    My friend, in the end of the day all that matters is that you expressed your feeling to her, thats already a huge victory.
    She declined? It alright, the one who lost in this situation was ultimately her, know your value.
    Also, this is what i picked up from what you wrote.

    * You ignored the fact that she had a boyfriend- you kind knew what you were getting yourself into but you chose to ignore it ( we all do that sometimes " you can ignore reality but you can't ignore the consequences of ignoring reality" )

    * You r on a scarcity mindset- You probably don't date all that often so in our mind the lack of something creates scarcity and then you ultimately end up putting her on a pedestal

    My point is you need to get out of your shell more, do new things, widen your horizons, it might be hard at first but you will become a better version of yourself by doing it.
    Also accept her presence, shes gonna show up in your work and in your life, accept that, live with it, if she choses to ignore you then so be it, i don't think ignoring you is the right approach from her but in the end she is she and you are you . Dont let it bother you.
    Lift your head and carry on.


    Best wishes,
     
    Last edited: May 2, 2019
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  20. Dr.LoveLength

    Dr.LoveLength Fapstronaut

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    Very well said...

    The fatest way to kill any attraction a women may have to you is to display signs of desperation and neediness. The blue pill beta cucks will tell you that professing your feelings to a women early on in hopes she feels the same is the best course of action. WRONG! The reality is very different. Women have been biologically programmed for tens of thousands of years to identify beta males from alpha's. So when your giving her an ultimatum of your deep feelings for her, what you actually telling her is your prepeard to fall for the first girl thats willing to talk with you show you abit of attention. It's the ultimate position of weakness and will mostly end how it has for OP. Quick rejection and now exploring options with other co-workers instead.
     
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