THE DUELS OF NOFAP: NO PMO TOURNAMENT | OPEN FOR ALL

I am going to follow this for the next year.

No mentions brother !

 

Since I joined on NoFap, I have been more active, I have been communicating with people more. I feel free to converse around, but, in Real life, I am different.
For instance, I will talk about the relationship I have with my friends. So, I am not a very bulky person, and I don't have bulging muscles ( I used to, not anymore ), but, if anyone tries to bully my friends or my fellow peers, I whack their asses. So, if there's any problem, my friends approach me, and I solve it without making a very big fuss out of it. In fact, I am still treated like an innocent kid by all of my teachers and my friends parents. So, I help them that way. Also, I listen to my classes so well, ( I used to, but, after last year, I am not that sincere. I only give my full attention in Computer Science classes. ) so, they approach me to clear their doubts, and I don't try to be proud and would be patient while clearing their doubts, so they feel so comfortable in approaching me; But, during the other times, for instance, during breaks, or when they try to approach me to talk something else to me, sometimes I listen to them and behave well, but Most of the times, I just get so angry ( I experienced mood swings, and still do ). So, they were always aware of when to approach me and when not to. I was like a friend who was to be scared of. Still, I was a very good secret keeper. My friends would share their private secrets with me, without hesitations; but, the problem is, I always kind of fell angry on them, hurt them unknowingly, and later apologized to them when they were talking normal things with me. I wasn't the always pleasant guy I am here, and I wasn't even patient when we were dealing with our normal friendly stuff. Still, when exams are around, there are people who haven't understood a thing or two about computers, who call up to me, and ask me to go and teach them about Computers. I feel so bad for them, I just put away all of my problems and stuff and I go around to help them no matter what ! I am also known to be the helpful type. Like, if you ask my friends what they like about me, they would say, I am a guy, who would help other's, help even a stranger I haven't met before. The only thing I feel bad about is, my inability to control my rage and anger, during possible moments of happiness ( Thereby, spoiling those moments ) [ I am a person ready to help strangers, but, I don't have the confidence to strike up a conversation with strangers, especially if it's a girl ! ].

So, I would like to ask some questions :
How do I control my anger ? How else do I express it ? Will expressing my anger during workout sessions be a good way of handling stress ? If I have to try meditating, ( Well, I tried meditating even in the morning today. I was feeling good, but, I don't know why; I am tending to go to sleep after meditating. Maybe I slept because, I didn't sleep well last night, but, this is not the first time I have slept after trying to meditate. I get it. I wouldn't ace it, right away on the first time, but, I need some assurance to keep going down the road. Some time back, I tried the free guided meditation course on Insight Timer, and I felt so good, but, I can't use guided meditation's anymore, because my phone doesn't support those apps, and secondly, I can't/won't use my phone anymore. So, I try to mediate on my own, focusing on my breath. ) How exactly should I start ? What should I do ? Maybe some help here sister @fleurette ? because you asked me to let you know how my meditation session went after following some of the guidelines you gave me. I sat straight, and didn't lie down, but after sometime, I felt sleepy, and laid down on the bed and went to sleep. I would love to hear your opinion on this guys, about me trying to control my anger. Thanks for reading all the way.

 

And, brother @BeastBoyBalling , I am ready for today's question if you've got any, or perhaps some advice ?

I don't really know what is the reason for me, trying to PMO. Fapping does cause me misery, but, what leads me to fap, is eventually my mind. So, not sure which one causes me more misery.

 

Use it.

Is a really bad word. We are not fighting. You cannot beat an opponent who does not get tired, who does not need food, rest, training. Who is at top form all the time. It is impossible to fight, but to accept and endure.

Good job. 10 days are something to be proud of.

Big hands are loading.

That is actually I real advice from motivators how to motivate yourself.

 

Hmm anger is one of those emotions that everybody thinks that is out of control. In fact every emotion can be controlled if you practice. Anger can be used as a weapon only if you know how to control it. The best way to direct it, the activities that requires aggression. Such as lifting weight. I used to have wild anger management issues, i would just yell at anyone who i m facing even if it is family. But when you actually calm yourself and think about it, the anger you can supress its true but it does need to go somewhere. The best example i can think of is while lifting weights it helped me do some extra reps. When you are lifting think of the reason for being angry it may help you. Other then that try learn boxing use punching bag. Only, i repeat only get your aggression out on these things nowhere else. As for meditation, sometimes we need to actually understand what is going on here to do it better here check this boy.

This may help you.

 

Right now ,only your goals matters ,nothing else.

 

It's a very hard period for me because I'm full off stress and from 0% urge I'm now starting to feel it a bit, but my mind is strong trained and I will keep the urge far away from me. STAY STRONG!!! KEEP GOING!!!

 

I control my emotions by exposure to violence. It may seems to you "wtf this boy is talking again, that doesn't make sense". Actually if you accept violence in your heart, you can control your swings. I can go poker face in public. I am looking dangerous most of the time, people get scared and encourage me to smile, cause they feel safe. In those moment I am just not showing emotions and they are confused. So people want to put you in a box. If I am cheerful all the time, I am not threat to them, but if I do tough, they be like.. shit...

 

Thank you Kratos and Beast for the replies. Helped me clear a lot of doubts. I will try to implement them. I will start using that rage building up to do something else, like lifting weights as you suggested brother Kratos.

No, the more you reply, the more chances I've got to reflect on myself. So, it's not that way brother.

Yeah, they do that, don't they !

And, if I may ask, @BeastBoyBalling , Why does your Signature show "Bleeding" ??

 

My hero @DekuHope , can you tell us about your progress, How you are doing this ? What are the strategies that you use ? [ Only If you want to share them (strategies) .... ] How are you effectively handling those urges ?

Above all that, I am happy that you're doing great brother. Wishing you the very best. Hope you reach much greater heights. I think 30 days aren't something great for a person of your standards. Maybe aim for 50 days ? You can do it brother, I know you can, so do it, and show me the way by doing so.
PLUS ULTRA !

 

Cause imma bout to leave my comfort zone, fully. Imma go places where never been(more in mind and willpower) and in real situations.(there are a lot of places imma see soon). The process of separating from this world in a positive way, I call to bleed internally. Cause it is hurting me. And it is already here. Where we separated with my ex, I wanted to die so bad, now every new second is like a new life. Cause I have already killed myself, for real. I am there, dead. In the memories of happiness. Now it is like a religion to me, that is why I brought the cross. I am reborn in something else. I have no fear, I am considering thousands of opportunities what and how to do. My prospective towards life, towards women, towards almost everything is not the same anymore. But I got to transform, so I bleed.

 

Imma alpha and leader by birth. This brainwashed women( ex, mother, other exes) constantly tried to implement fears in me. I would not be able to recognise myself. Now when I am all alone, I am in a good company.

 

To be honest I just have little to none urges... Because I completly have set my mind on doing things. When I got urges it was like "stop touching yourself" and I put my hand away on a desk. I listen to joyful/inspiring/motivational music. Most of the time I am at the university but well I could fap at night right ? No I watch videos (youtube) or talk with my gf. So you could say "Hey, you got it that easy thats not difficult" Well I know you wouldn't say that but let me explain why that statemant is false. Its false because when I was 100% addicted I put everything aside to watch and look up porn. So I could tell my gf that I am tired to watch porn. I could use excuses. But I don't. In the mornings I could not do my workout and just fap. But I won't. I guess fapping is just no option when it comes to doing something.

What I do to avoid urges:
I don't use social-media beside whatsapp. I avoid sexual pictures on the internet. When porn comes into my mind (happens maybe once a week) I listen to music and let the thought go. Don't try to push it back. Let it go. Listen to music that gets you motivated or makes you happy so that thought dissapears. Fighting a thought is almost impossible. But fighting an addiction isn't. I do workouts before we drive to the university. Once i felt to sleep again. but woke up early enough to catch the bus. I accepted the situation that I can't do my workout today but i will go on with my plan. I don't need any punishment for example (because I slipped or couldn't do it I will make it twice as hard tomorrow...) because I know old self he just accepted the harder workout and fapped or was lazy. Free your life from your actions and tasks. Your addiction has nothing to do with your life. Give it as less control as possible and start to improve your life. This is how I am fighting my addiction. Also if you want motivation you shouldn't get emotional ( I did that back then) because your addiction can use your emotional state to invade your mind again. Stay cool and don't let your guard down. analyse and improve you can always do that.

 

Listen young hero.... I exactly know how you feel. Be careful with the steps you take.... sometimes it does help to become the thing you hate most to understand who you are.... but trust me... its dangerous. Know who and what you want to be. I know you feel like in hell right now. Because every second is difficult an every change you do feels like burning/bleeding

 

it is not. Every second is like a gift. I am as happy as the puppy . I am reborn. Thank you for the sympathy. I have fully accepted the bleed and I am clever motherfucker, always will be careful.

 

If you should fall in darkness.... don't forget that there is hope. Always. You are doing much progress but I am afraid that you are jumping from one place to another. You are quick but slow down and make a unbreakable fundament so those changes and progress you achieved can't get lost.

 

You are right about that. I respect that.

 

Hey @prince san , How ya doing? We are placed in a duel.