Day 01 checking in. I keep planning things, I keep learning from my mistakes and not for a second have I thought about giving up. I had a good morning, I feel a little foggy in my brain but I know it will go away in a couple of weeks if I stay away from P. These last two days I have been analyzing my schedule to improve it, I've made a lot of progress. I have been researching how to effectively learn new skills, I want to learn digital drawing and a new language (Italian). I have also been analyzing my last failures to see what I did wrong and how to improve on my weak points. The third time's the charm.
I know how good it feels to realize I am in a much better spot than I was half a year ago but it's still difficult every time
Day 14. Two weeks. My brain is getting better every day. That one even has to write this. Wow. It became a normal part of my life that there are days even weeks were my brain has to clear. had therapy session. Didn’t like the guy. Will look for someone else. Keep going here daily and will do more Saa groups on weekend.
Another day in. Man i cant stress enough how shitty last night was. It was like a hijack. I was constantly leaning towards both ends of right and wrong. What wasn't helping was what ever i was doing there was always a trigger involved. Watching a movie, playing a fantasy game, YouTube, even fucking comic books. I couldn't sleep properly, and worse I think I got something along the lines of anxiety attack. I was on cusp on PMO-ing yet i was able to not indulge in that. It was so hard but I was hanging in there, reasoning with myself. I was almost at the doors of P sites which i used in the past but i was able to rationalize and get away from there. I also had this Hugh space growing in my chest which made me all kinds of anxious and all of the sudden i got an erection. I don't even know what happen, maybe it was constant back and forth but I got hard. Old me would have been caught up in the chaser effect but now this ME. I was able to talk myself out of it and remind myself the reasons why, people who look up to, my duels of nofap match, all the things i was able to remember. And whew, I nearly dodged a bullet there. I constantly told myself, if I do this, things will go back to the way they were. I would like to thank NOFAP emergency button which showed me this video of NEO from matrix taking the pill for truth. I helped me put things in perspective at least. It was a hard fought battle but i won. Now I have won the battle, a bigger war lingers. I have to prepare myself, all the things i neglected came crashing down last night and now i will fix them as I should have all those times. I will not fall this time. HOO-AH
Day 6 completed (26 in my current streak). An improvement is that I had a dream where I had sex but the whole time I was trying to make sure that I wasn't doing any PMO along with it. This was unlike the earlier dream in which I gave in to my urges and relapsed. Looks like my subconscious has finally teamed up with my conscious fight against PMO. I feel stronger now. Nevertheless, I'll be cautious and brace up for the upcoming challenges. Also, my brain doesn't feel as foggy, even when I'm on period -- that's a massive difference!
Day8, as I'm eligible for the Spartan Army, I shall reinforce my body and mind to be ready. This morning I will do some stretches, tonight a workout and inbetween I'll study for myg degree. I also have to make my deodorant and shampoo, all of these stuff give me a sense of accomplishment which boost my sense of self and therefore keep P urges away. I can see them from afar, I'm waving at them like we're friends but I'm actually ready to take the arms if they come any closer hahaha
Day 10. Sorry for missing a couple of days - my house rennovation is nearing the end and everyone needs constant attention on their work, obviously. PMO-wise everything's fine! Proud moment of the day was me about spiraling back to my hocd and pmo due to high stress but managed to overcome it. Man that was good! Now I am at home and relaxed. @Kratos_GOW Good job on the resistence my dude!
Yesterday i answered your question @Kratos_GOW . Today also. Monday i will Go to holyday in to the Alps. Day 43.