Solving Loneliness

I think you are the most encouraging person I have encountered on this forum. My boss and a colleague are Christians. Two of my closest friends are as well. I grew up Presbyterian but have gone another direction entirely. In my mind, your religion is part of the solution to the problems people face. I don’t believe in a creator god, but my aforementioned friends insist that god exists, he loves me, he forgives me, and he has a plan for me regardless of whether I think he is real or not. Despite my lack of faith in the god of the Bible, I find this message extremely reassuring and have learned to embrace it. My circle jerk atheist days are long behind me. You are right about the reboot, complete that first. I’ll take 90 days as the appropriate miles stone to actively start looking for partners. I haven’t gone this long without porn since I found out it existed. Abandoning porn is a rather significant change to my way of life.

 

Well I am less worried that I wont have any more lays.
I can always, well, get some bar skank or some likely toxic girl... I think this is still doable.
But do I want it? No.
I can go to escorts as well. But they fake everything and theres no real desire or emotions. And you can sense that. They only take your energy.

Metaphysically I think thats what women do, after all they take our semen and we feel drained. Of course, with porn its like 100% loss, with escorts I say 60-80%,
and with normal girl who wants you is maybe 40%.

Starting a family: here you hit a nail bro. Because at this point I am not able to trust any woman. I just know how they really are.
NAWALT - not wall women are that - is a lie. They all are.

First, when they young 18-25 they party their ass out, sleeping with everyone. Old, young.
Then they usually go into more serious relationships with a beta male ofc. They even get married. If they do, then their bf/hubby stays at home when they are ''going out with their female friends'' and still have their sex on the side with alpha males in bars and clubs. They dont even count it as a betrayal. They were still with their friends. I will never forget when I was out with 2 female friends in a bar, drinking beer and it was early night like 11pm and some dude was kissing a girl, and all she said was ''I am married'' and he was ''its ok''... so thats how it goes.

I just cant, its so disrespectful. I am not a cuck nor beta anymore. And dont say ''if she loves you she will not do this'' - maybe, for the first year, maybe two when the love chemicals will work .And then what? Every relationship I see goes into ''friendship'' phase and ''boredom'' mode. I've been there 4 times, too.
So if I cant be with them, then whats the point? Or maybe start being with some older girl that is already past her party mode, sure.
But you see, that doesnt guarantee anything. And also older women dont make me horny.

I always been with older ones, thinking they are more mature. Nope, they just know how to manipulate men better.

If that sounds grim, then I assure you I still like their company and I ''love'' them in a way, females are beautiful and fun... but I know I cant trust them.
And for me, without trust theres no love.

I rather be respected by them than loved. And Ive recently been on a hiking trip with a young girl from work. Its funny how harshly they judge... maybe even its something they do by biology or instinct (cant blame them) - do you have a car, where do you live, etc etc just proning if Id be a better prospect than her current bf.
Still giving me signs initially after stating she has bf, then stopping interest after she realized she will be better off with her current one.

Another girl- my massage therapist, for the first 2-3 months of me going to see her - massive sexual attraction, she was flirting all the time with me.
She never mentioned she has long term bf, only after 6 months when she knew I wasnt interested in her. And she is from a very good house, good family strong father figure.

So yeah.
I cant solve this dillema.
But I could use some lover for a few months.

Lets face it most good females start families early as they should... if something didnt worked out then they arrive again at the market, damaged...
party girls are damaged anyway.

So what the hell should we do?
And if youre almost 38 like me, then you know theres no point in being in a relationship with a 23 yo girl. She will just awant to party all night long. and betray you multiple times.
28 yo girl will do the same, only maybe less often.

But they are all the same.

 

with women I finally solved this riddle.

they are like cats. we all know this. but ...

I am a solid 6 in the HB scale.
Over the years I got 8/10 and 9/10 girls (prettiest girls!!) interested in me. They were working in our office. First one approached me when I was alone.
Second one was secretly into me, heavy crush. Also approached me.

But I screwed it up on both occasions. When I realized they are into me, I started chasing them. Like a dog.
First one immediately got scared. She got bf anyway but was already looking for replacement.
Second one, got scared too and sent me some BS stuff when I wanted to chat with her over the phone.
I wanted to set up a date but she had no idea, I should do it through chat I guess thats how you do it these days...

Anyway. Then another girl, massage therapist. I told you guys above. Same story. This time I made NO move , after few months she basically put me into friendzone
and said she got a bf. Hehe.

You know whats common in all these 3 scenarios? I JUST DID NOT MADE ANY MOVE on all of them, completely ignored them. Did not looked after them
in the office, or acted on that sexual chemistry with the massage therapist girl.
This made them MORE curious, and more interested "why this guy doesnt do anything, I know I am attractive..." so my social lack of skill actually
made me more attractive for them. As every other man in the office was trying to impress them. But I was just ignoring them. First, I wasnt looking for a relationship
and second, I did not thought I had a chance with them.

But then I screwd it up by chasing.

Even recently. A perfect young girl from my other job went on a trip with me and other dude. I got signals. And then I invited her for a meeting
few days afterwards. She declined saying this day in the week she is busy.
She did not proposed another date, which I overlooked blinded by desire. So I waited a week (good) and asked her out again, this time on another day of the week.
She replied ''oh I am afraid I am busy on EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK currently (yeah, sure... nice BS so I had to refuse''

So I ruined it again.

With the first two girls I was clueless.
With the massage therapist girl I was too slow (I asked her out after 3 years ahahah she denied)
With the recent girl from work - I was TOO FAST - because I did not wanted to waste it like with the massage therapist girl.

So ... I wasted 4 GREAT girls, really top notch... I could be with all of them.
They dont come around too often and especially now in the lockdown what I can do? No meeting people from work. No socializing.
I cant do much :/

When I finally solved this riddle, and understood it through experience... its too late.
I hope , still, its NOT though and I can figure it out.

They are like cats. I should just wait, maybe 2-3 weeks and then organize another hiking trip. Then allow her to dig me more, raise her level of interest.
Its a long road. And men need to be patient. Its like a feather falling on your hand, if you close it - the movement will raise air and the feather will fly away.
Instead, dont do anything and let it land on your hand.

This is how you do it.

Of course, it doesnt apply to beta males, which we all were and some of us still do. Because if youre a beta, you will still be chasing all of them, sending them love letters and what not.

And, if youre a very high level alpha, a popular dude, idk, 100k subs on your gym YT channel, an IG star etc ... then you dont need to do this, women are ALREADY
CURIOUS. Because youre high level and its showing. You have achieved something. So its easier.
But then, if you do this only to get girls you going to fail ultimately. And they will sense it.

I was raised during years when there were no social media. People were meeting in person, visiting each other homes.
I was an introvert. So then I could invite a girl and ''showcase'' her my skills, my drawings, my music that I play etc.

Nowadays, when a girl is in your home, you are going to have sex with her, right? So the attraction phase is already almost over.
So looks like I will need to create a stronger media profile to attract them...

Remember guys, they are like cats. We cant do anything else than extend our invitation ONCE WE ARE SURE they are INTO US.
If not, they will run for the hills.

So, basically become an attractive man. Wait for females to arrive, and choose some from the group that does.
This is it. And of course, stay away from PMO!

Thanks for reading!