Sobriety vs. Recovery

I think many of us come into recovery thinking that all we have to do is get rid of this behavior and then everything will be better. Then behaving for a year or two by abstaining from the outright bad behavior is kind of like ripping off the bandaid that we were using to cover all of the pain. I certainly experienced this and I was skeptical if I could recover in the first place. I though i was too far gone. Recovery to me is the process of learning how to live each day, not merely exist.

It is about learning to be present for the that sunrise in the morning that is just the right kind of beautiful and equally present for my kids when they come home crying because they couldnt finish the test that day. Hearing my wifes pain when she is reminded yet again of the life she thought she had and lost. It is about discoveing my emotional limits and learning to care for myself in healthy ways. It is about being commited to the messy, unpredictable, terrible and wonderful reality that i face everyday and expeiencing the highs and the lows. Letting myself feel it all.